


Stale Cupcakes

by TacticalCupcakes



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Doki Doki Literature Club! Spoilers, Domestic Violence, Gen, Inspired by Doki Doki Literature Club!, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 19:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 46,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14339394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacticalCupcakes/pseuds/TacticalCupcakes
Summary: Ever wondered what it'd be like to go through the storyline of Doki Doki Literature Club through the eyes of our favourite Tsundere? Interested in seeing new scenes and old alike? Want to read a ~47,000 word story that was written in two weeks?If so, you've come to the right place! Stale Cupcakes is a fanfic that attempts to retell the storyline of DDLC through Natsuki's perspective. There's a lot surrounding her character that's never touched upon in the regular game, so I thought I could try and fill in the blanks. I've had similar experiences, so it just kind of came naturally.This story is Complete, so you'll not have to worry about waiting for a new chapter! Hope you enjoy! I originally wrote it over the course of 12 days and posted each chapter to R/DDLC, but I wanted to have it all in one convenient place over here as well!





	1. Morning

A gentle yawn escapes me as I wake up, stretching my arms out in front of me. Today will be better than yesterday. It will.

I carefully step towards my door, opening it ever so slightly. _I don’t hear anything..._

I take a tentative step forward. The floorboards protest, groaning annoyingly. I freeze.

 

...

 

_Nothing. He must have not returned last night._

I sigh in relief. _This’ll make things a bit easier!_

I proudly stride towards the kitchen, and pull the refrigerator door open. I pull open a lower drawer and retrieve a small carton of milk, some butter, and a couple of eggs. He never thought to look in this drawer, so it felt relatively safe to secretly swipe things and hide them here. He never seemed to notice them missing.

 

Today was a special day. My friend Sayori had promised to bring a new member to the literature club I attend after classes, and I was going to make cupcakes to welcome them. I know some people might think of me as abrasive, but I can’t help it; I’ve just grown accustomed to pushing people away. I don’t want them to get hurt. Hopefully the cakes’ sweetness will counteract my sour attitude.

 

Playfully humming, I retrieve the box I keep hidden at the back of one of the cupboards, lifting out sugar, vanilla, and chocolate. Baking gives me peace; it’s one of the few times where I can truly feel at ease.

 

 With respect for the art, I gently open the door of the oven, sliding the gooey soon-to-be cakes in.

Soon, the air was filled with the delightful scent of daydreams, rambunctiously dancing around the kitchen. Seriously, it smelt _so good._

My stomach growled. Surely no one would notice if I had one now ...

No! These are for the club members!  
  
I swallow, and begin mixing the icing. I hope they appreciate what I’m doing here. Baking is a dangerous process, and a science.

I was pleased with this batch. Perhaps they’ll take me a bit more seriously when they see how skilled I am.

I open up another drawer and grab a spoon. I plunge it into the sugary fluff, scooping up a small dollop to taste it. I can feel my pupils dilate. _Yeah, they’ll love this._

My stomach rumbles again in protest as I pipe icing onto the cupcakes. As much as I want to, I can’t have these, or else there won’t be enough for everyone else.

I carefully box up the cakes, and then glance over to the clock.

_Damn! That’s right! I still need to get ready for school!_

I’d gotten so absorbed in cooking that I totally forgot! Boxing up the cupcakes, I reel backwards to the bathroom, tripping over the doorframe.

“Owwww...”

That really hurt. I can feel a tear starting to form, but I scrunch my eyes to shoo it away. I don’t have time for this!  
  
After the quickest shower, I hastily dress myself and, cupcakes in hand, barrel out of the house.

Then, I run back inside to get my schoolbag. Finally, I should have everything...


	2. A new member?!

Afternoon classes went by without much going on. I kind of faded in and out of paying attention as I doodled on the back of my homework. I like to draw; mostly just Minori, my favourite character from my favourite manga. I’m not too great at it, but I still enjoy it.

As the final bell rung, I stood up and... and...

 

Ooh... I don’t feel so good.

The room’s spinning around a bit, sort of like I fell into a washing machine, and my hands feel like little bags of beans being purposefully jostled. I stumble a little, but manage to get my footing. Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be doing?

Oh, right! The cupcakes! I made friends for my cupcakes! I mean, I made... whatever.

 

I slide the box of fluffy friends out from underneath my desk, and make the trek to the third floor.

 

I signal my arrival by tapping my foot against the door a few times, hoping there’s someone on the other side. I can’t open the door with my hands full.

Mercifully, the handle presses down, and the door swings inwards.

“Ah, Natsuki! Good to see you!”  


That’s Monika. She’s the president of the literature club. Although she’s my friend, I’m not sure how it happened. It reminds me of an anime I saw where there was a guy who was super nice to this other guy who was a mean dragon guy but he secretly liked the other guy, and-

“What do we have here?” Monika jolts me back to reality, pointing at the tray,

“Oh, right! Get this; Sayori said she was going to bring a new potential member, so I thought I’d make us all cupcakes. Then, when the new girl sees how amazing I am, she’ll want to stick around!”  
“Aww, You want to impress someone?” Monika giggled, placing her hand teasingly over her lips, “That’s adorable!”  


Ugh. She _always_ does this. She knows I hate it.

“Sh-Shut up!” I try to look angry, but I doubt it’s working based on her expression. “That wasn’t what I meant!”

“I’m sure,” Monika responded, rolling her eyes. You know, I didn’t _have_ to risk making these...

Before I could come up with a suitable retort, the door opened softly, with dainty footsteps following.

“Oh! Good, I’m not the last to show up...”  
That’s Yuri. We might have some differences, but we get along alright. I’d like to get a bit closer to her, but I get nervous. I know she’s not a fan of manga, but I have this series I know she’d love if she gave it a chance! It’s about-

“Hey everyone! The new member’s here!”  


Sayori skipped through the door with some... guy? I wasn’t expecting this.

He was pretty plain looking, kind of like the human equivalent of a balloon. He had somewhat messy, short brown hair, and a blank expression.

“Geez, I told you not to call me that yet...”

And not only is he dull in every way, he doesn’t even want to be here. What gives with this guy?  


“You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere,” I said to no one in particular. 

“Ah, Emery! What a nice surprise!” Monika beamed.

Wait; Monika knows this guy? And is pleased to see him, no less? Things just got a bit more interesting...

However, “Emery” seemed to be dumbfounded. He was staring right at me, not speaking at all.

“What are you looking at? If you want to say something, say it.”  
“S-Sorry...” He stammered. Was this the first time he’s spoken to a girl?

“Hmph.” I folded my arms. I wasn’t impressed.

Sayori leant over and whispered something into his ear. Was she reminding him to breathe?

“Anyway!” She smiled, “This is Natsuki, always full of energy.”

Was I?   
“And this is Yuri, the smartest one in the club!”  


Yuri blushed at the compliment. She can be kind of cute when she wants to be. Monika really should be teasing _her_ instead of me!  
  
“And you already know Monika?” Sayori questioned.

“Y-Yeah,” He squeaked. Damn, this guy doesn’t get out much, does he? Or maybe he’s just floored by having a pretty girl like Monika acknowledge him?   


“Great!” Sayori clapped her hands, “If we’re all ready, let’s go sit down over here! I’ll get the cupcakes!”

“Hey!” I interjected, “I made them, I’ll get them!”

“Sorry, I got a little too excited~”  


Was that a bit too forceful? I mean, I should be the one to present them, but... should I have been a bit gentler?

Yuri strides to the side to make some tea. I don’t get to have tea often outside of the club, so it’s a nice consistency. Sometimes, it’s okay for things to be a bit predictable. My mum used to like tea a lot, so it reminds me of her.

As everyone else settles in, I grab the box of cupcakes, placing it on the table.

“Okay, are you ready?” I grin. I do like demonstrating my skills.

“Ta-Da!” Like a magician, I unveil the cupcakes. Sometimes, I amaze myself. I made them look like little kittens. Everyone likes kittens. I wish I could have one someday, but until then, cupcakes will do.

Sayori gasped in surprise. “Sooooo cute!”

“I had no idea you were so good at baking, Natsuki.” Said Monika.

“Eheh, well, you know. Just take one already!” I respond.

Emery reaches out and takes a cupcake, turning it around. Has he not seen food before?

“This is really good. Thanks, Natsuki!”  
Oh shoot, I was probably staring. That’s not nice. How do I defuse this situation?  
  
“W-Why are you thanking me? It’s not like I... I made them for you or anything!”  


_Nailed it._

 

“Eh? I thought you technically did, since Sayori was saying-“  
  
Damn, take a hint.

“W-Well, yeah! But not for, y-you know, _you!_ Dummy...”

That probably came out wrong. Now he’s going to think I’m some kind of walking anime stereotype. Who stutters that much?

It’s his fault though. I didn’t specifically make them just for him! They were for everyone!

Shortly after, Yuri returned with the tea, gracefully placing it down on the table.

 


	3. Poetic License

**Chapter the third - Poetic license**

 

Everyone else seems absorbed by the new guy, although I’m not sure I understand why. I mean, I guess he’s new and different, so that probably interests them, but... he’s just so plain.

I zone out a bit, sipping from the tea cup. It reminds me of when I was a little kid. My mum would read to me on her knee, every so often stopping to drink from her cup. I can feel the warm steam wrapping around my face, the soothing scent drifting out with it. It’s the same kind she used to like.

I miss her sometimes.

I think they’re all asking Emery why he was interested in the club, but I don’t really care about that. I nurse my tea cup a little, with my eyes closed.

Suddenly, I feel someone give me a light kick in the shin, making me sit upright, almost spilling the tea.

“We’ll do our best, right?” Monika said, emphatically.

“Heh, you know it!” I reply. I’m not sure what I just agreed to.

“So, Emery, what kinds of things do you like to read?” Yuri turns to the boy.

“Well... ah...” He stutters. He can read?  


“...Manga...” He says quietly.

 

_Hold up._

Now _this_ is an interesting development. I’ve always wanted someone to talk to about manga. I wonder if he’s read _Parfait Girls_...

I raise my hand to say something, but quietly put it back down. I’m sure there’ll be a better opportunity later.

“N-Not much of a reader, I guess...” Yuri buries her hands in her chest, a look of slight defeat on her face. Look at this! Monika, are you getting this?  
“Well, that can change...” Emery states matter-of-factly.

Huh?

Are you kidding me, new guy? Stick to your convictions!

Yuri starts discussing her favourite novels, mentioning horror and how immersive books that challenge the psyche can be. Those have never been my go-to.

That’s not to say I don’t like that kind of thing! I just don’t understand some of the words... Perhaps if she read it to me sometime, that’d be okay...

How does she have such a big vocabulary? Does she eat a thesaurus for dinner every day?

“I’ve been reading a lot of horror lately...” Yuri says gently, a small smile on her face. She looks so delicate, you probably wouldn’t expect to hear that from her.

“Ah, I read a horror book once...” Emery tries to relate.

Dude, really? You can do better than that.

Monika remarks that it’s unexpected, given how gentle Yuri is. Didn’t I just say that?

“Ugh, I hate horror...” I say without thinking.

“Oh? Why’s that?” Yuri looks at me quizzically. That was probably uncalled for.

“Well, I just...” I look at my friends, one by one, then at the new guy. Come on, someone throw me a bone here! Are you all super into the macabre? Am I the only one not?  


“Never mind.” I shake my head. I don’t want to risk upsetting Yuri, so I should probably stop here.

 

“That’s right,” Monika pipes up, “you usually like to write about cute things, don’t you, Natsuki?”  
  
Really? You know I hate that, why do you keep doing that?  


“W-What?” I stammer, a bit too defensively. “What gives you that idea?”

“You left a piece of scrap paper behind last club meeting. It looked like you were working on a poem called-“

“Don’t say it out loud!” I must be totally red at this point, but I don’t care. That’s private! Why would you bring that up in front of everyone?

“And give that back!”  


“Fine, Fine~”

I snatch the paper back from Monika. I suppose better for me to have lost it here than at home...

“Ehehe, your cupcakes, your poems...” Sayori beams at me, “Everything you do is just as cute as you are~” she glides over, giving me a small hug from behind.

Now _she’s_ doing it? Can’t you just say something other than that for once? They all treat me like I’m some kind of little kid doing some show and tell. Making cupcakes is _hard_. Writing is _hard_. Can’t you think of anything to say other than “cute”?

“I’m not cute!” I yell, although that probably has the opposite effect. If anything, they’ll probably use that against me later.

“You write your own poems?” Emery interjects. I turn over to him.

“Eh? Well, I guess sometimes. Why do you care?”

“I think that’s impressive. Why don’t you share them sometime?”  
  
“N-No!”  
  
These aren’t the kinds of things I want other people to see. It’s true that I like writing poems, but I do it to try and make sense of the world around me. It’s private.

“You wouldn’t... like them...”  


The perfect excuse.

“Ah... not a very confident writer yet?”

What, and you are? Get off my back!  


“I understand how Natsuki feels,” says Yuri. “Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence. The truest form of writing is writing to oneself.”  
  
Now, this girl gets it.  I like to write to get the dark thoughts out of my head and onto paper. That way, they seem a bit more tangible, which can help in dealing with them. Not everything is meant to be shared.

“Do you have writing experience, Yuri? If you share as well, it might make others more comfortable!” Monika cheerfully asks. I mean, it’s a good suggestion from a good place, but that doesn’t really help with this kind of writing...  
  
Yuri looks flustered. I hope she’s okay...

“Aww, I wanted to read everyone’s poems...” Sayori pouts. I think she’s just trying to make us feel better. I wish I could be as happy as her sometimes.

There’s an awkward minute or so where no one says anything. Then Monika stands up proudly.  
  
“Okay, Everyone!” She smiles, uttering her catchphrase. I’m not sure if she intended it to be as such, but she does say it a lot.  
  
“Let’s all go home and write a poem of our own! Then we can share them at the next meeting! That way, everyone is even!”  
  
Oh no.

I stare at the ground. I don’t want to share my poems with you all. You don’t need to see that side of me.

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” Sayori pumps her fist up in the air. Damn, she looks so happy... I can’t really say no to that smile.  


“Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it’d help us get a bit well-acquainted with each other. Don’t you think so, Emery?”  
  
He gulps. He really likes Monika, huh?

“Hold on... There’s still one problem. I never said I would join this club!”  
  
Wait... that’s right! He never did say he’d stick around. If he just came by for the cupcakes, I swear to god...

He looks a bit guilty, like he should. He sighs, then ruffles his hair.

“Okay. I’ve decided... I’ll join the literature club.”  


I look up at him. I suppose having some fresh blood won’t be too bad...”  


“If you really just came for the cupcakes, I would be super pissed.” I try to sound tough, but it falls on deaf ears.

 

“Then it’s official!” Monika says excitedly. “So, everyone clear on what to do tonight? Write a poem to share tomorrow!”  
  
I tense up. I can’t share the stuff I normally write about. I’ll have to think of something they’d be okay reading.

 

I pick up my belongings, and head for the door. I look over my shoulder to see Sayori asking to walk home with Emery. I don’t know what she sees in him, but from what she told me, the two are pretty close friends. Although a brick would probably be more enthusiastic, it must be nice to have someone like that.

 

Anyway... I guess I need to head home and write something for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowee, I wrote this as I was having breakfast, so forgive me if it's not the best. It just kind of happened, eheh. I know it's pretty long, so sorry about that.
> 
> I've been using some of my own experiences to determine how Natsuki might respond to the stuff that happens, since she's probably the one character whose backstory isn't as touched upon, so hopefully I'm doing a good job.
> 
> What will Emery do? Who will he try to impress? Who cares, it ain't about him!
> 
> Tune in next time for: Natsuki goes home and tries to write a poem everyone will like.


	4. Word Chef

**Chapter the fourth -– Word chef**

The walk home was pretty uneventful, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s good to have a bit of peace every now and then.

As I come up to the front door, I can faintly smell cigarettes seeping through the keyhole. Ugh. That means that he’s home.

As quietly as possible, with the precision of a safecracker, I slowly turn the doorknob, and slip inside.

Fortunately, he seems to be asleep. Or rather, passed out in front of the TV, a lonely cigarette hanging loosely from his gaping maw. This meant he wouldn’t be looking for me.

That’s good. I don’t want to have to deal with that right now. Holding my head up high, I slowly creep towards my room.

 _Almost there!_  
  


However, my foot gets caught on a jacket he had left on the floor, causing me to fall forward and land on my arm with a loud THUMP. The resulting impact causes a picture frame to leap off of the wall, and crash to the ground.

 

Oh no.

 

I hear a snort from the living room. I should run, but I can’t make myself move. Please don’t tell me that woke him up.

I hear heavy footsteps clomp behind me.  That’s not good.

“What is going on here?” says a voice in an unsettlingly quiet tone.  


Fuck.

 

Just as I was about to scarper, he’d seen me.

 

“H-Hello, Papa,” I say, my lip quivering. I can feel my arm getting red.

“Did you have a little accident?” He responds in a gravelly voice.

“No, I-I’m fine! Nothing happened!”  


“Is that so?” He steps towards me with his heavy footsteps. “Then, pray tell,” He questions, pointing to my arm, “What is that?”  
  
I reflexively pull my arm behind my back. “Do you want this to be easy or hard?”

I gulp. Shaking, I slowly extend my forearm in front of me, my eyes off to the side.

 _SNAP!  
_ I felt his belt connect with my arm with punishing precision. I instinctively yelped, but that only made it happen again. It felt like I’d shoved my arm into a beehive.

 

“Why do you make me do this?” He tutted. “You should feel lucky; you were going to get a bruise there anyway.”  
  
I cough slightly, and the belt snaps against my arm again.

 

“Now, are you going to behave? Because we can keep doing this if you’d like,” He said curtly, spitting to the side.

 

“S-Sorry, Papa. I’ll try to be more careful...”  
  
“That’s what I thought. Now, fuck off.”

He snapped the belt against my arm one last time for good measure, and then lumbered off.

I carefully make my way to my room, being careful to not disturb him further.

As I close the door, I feel myself sliding to the floor. I wrap my arms around my knees, and feel a hot tear run down my face.

I just want it to stop.

 

What did I do for this?

 

Why didn’t mum take me with her?  
  
No, that’s not her fault... she had to go.

I get up and slump into the chair by my desk. Papers and pens are strewn across it, contrary to how I left it this morning. I guess he was doing another sweep.

 

I need to write a poem for the literature club. They’ll be disappointed in me if I don’t.

 

**Fireflies**

_What happens when fireflies_

_Get lost in sandcastles?_

_Do they call out for their friends?_  
Are they scared of the dark?  
  
Do they carry maps, but end up

_Losing them to stray gusts of wind?_

_Do they try to fly away,_

_But get too nervous to use their lights?_

_Can you carry me away,_

_On a flickering blanket of dreams?_

_I’ll be quiet, I promise,_

_As long as we can go somewhere nice._

 

I look up and down the page. _Nah, that’s a bit too on-the-nose_.

I stuff it into my bag, and draw up a fresh sheet of paper. I look out of the window, and see a bird gliding across the sky.

Birds don’t have to worry about anything. If they ever get into trouble, they can just fly away. Eagles can fly. People can try, but that’s about it.

Hold on, I might be onto something here...

I neatly write some more lines. I like this poem; it’s to the point without being overly obvious, and it doesn’t mess around with big words or complicated structures. It’s not what a poem says, it’s what it makes you feel that matters.

I imagine myself presenting a book to a cheering crowd.

“Natsuki!” A fan shouts out, “How do you write so well? What are your influences?”

I adjust my glasses and smirk. “Well, unlike you idiots, I only read _good_ literature,” I flash a smile, pulling Volume 4 of _Parfait Girls_ out of my bag.

“Aaah! So cool!”

I chuckle. Maybe someday, someone will take me seriously. I’d like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all will forgive me for this. I guess it just comes somewhat naturally since .
> 
> Next Episode: Natsuki brings her poem to the club to share.


	5. It's Tuesday!

**Chapter the fifth - It’s tuesday!**

 

Well, I did it. I have a poem to present today. Hopefully this is the kind of thing they’ll enjoy.

I’m the first to arrive at the club. I look down the hallway; no one around.

I go over to the cupboard in the corner. I keep my favourite manga collection here in the clubroom. It’s probably my most prized possession. I don’t want to leave that at home for him to find. If he knew I had this...

I feel a shiver run along my spine, bouncing down each vertebrae, like a xylophone. I don’t want to think about that. I just want to enjoy my time here.

I pull out the first volume, and open it up. I’ve read this series so many times, but I still enjoy it as if it’s the very first time. I like to imagine I’m the protagonist, and my friends are her friends. She’s a bit unlucky, but with the power of friendship, everything works out.

Okay, I know that sounds kind of cliché, but trust me, it’s really good!  


I get a few chapters in before hearing the door open. Yuri strides in, a thick leather-bound book under her arm. It looks foreboding.

“Hey, is that another of your horror novels?” I ask. It sounds a bit meaner than I wanted it to.

“Oh, Um, yes! It’s one of my very favourites! It’s called _Portrait of Markov_.”  


“Who’s Markov?” I ask, putting my manga down on the table.  


Yuri clears her throat. “Well, it’s more of an overarching theme in the book. It’s hard to talk about it without spoiling the plot, but it’s engrossing. I can’t put it down!”  
  
As she says this, I notice her grip on the book tighten ever so slightly. She must mean that literally.

“Would you like to take a look?” Yuri walks over, extending the book out to me, but I wave it away.

“Nah, I can’t stand that-“ I start to say, but I see the excited glimmer in her eyes fizzle.

 _Damn, that’s not what I wanted to say. Can I get a do over?_  
  
“U-Um, that is, I sometimes get a bit lost in those dense books, y’know? The language just goes over my head.” I laugh nervously. I think that made her feel a little better, and only at a minor expense to my intelligence.

“Oh, of course. I assume this is more to your taste?” She starts to reach for my manga, but I instinctively lunge and grab it away, startling her.

“S-Sorry,” I look at the floor. That probably looked a bit weird.

“But, hey! Maybe someday I could suck it up and look over your brick there.” I point at _Portrait of Markov_. Yuri gazes longingly at the book.  
  
“Maybe you could even read a bit to me...” I mumble.

Yuri cocks her head. “What was that?”

  
“D-Don’t misinterpret that! I just meant, like, if I don’t know what a certain word is, you’ll have to tell me! It’s not like I want to j-just read with you or anything like that!”  


_Flawless. That suspiciously specific denial will clear things up._  
  
“...I see.” Yuri shrugs, and turns away, returning to her desk.

 

It’s not long before Monika appears. I take this as a cue for me to put my manga away. The club meeting should be starting whenever Sayori shows up.

“Heeeeyyyy!” a familiar voice filled with sunshine rolls through the door, pointing finger guns in front of her.   


We all look at her skeptically.

 

“Ehehe... I thought that would look kind of cool...” Sayori shuffles shyly over to a desk.

She just wants to make everyone happy, even if it makes her look like a total dork sometimes. How can she be so happy-go-lucky? If I ask her nicely, will she teach me?

I notice a lack of movement. I was about to ask why we weren’t starting our meeting, but I’m cut off by Emery strolling lackadaisically through the door.

 

“Ah, Emery! It’s good to see you didn’t ditch us!” Monika smiles her pretty smile at him. I can practically see his knees turning to jelly in front of me.

 

“Heh, well, even if this is a bit strange for me, I do keep my word.” He chuckles. That’s a bit blunt, isn’t it?

“Thank you for keeping your promise, Emery,” Yuri says, “I hope this isn’t too overwhelming of a commitment for you.”

She looks to one side, twiddling her hair in her fingers. “Making you dive headfirst into literature when you’re not really accustomed to it...” She looks almost ashamed.   
  
Get outta town, Emery. I don’t like seeing Yuri uncomfortable.  
  
“Oh, come on!” I stand up, looking right at him. “Like he deserves any slack.”  
  
Emery looks a bit taken aback, but that doesn’t stop me.  
  
“Sayori told me you didn’t even want to join any clubs this year. And last year, too!”  


Everyone else must be staring at me right now, but I don’t care. I’m gonna put this guy in his place. I squint, and point right at him, like Naruhodou Ryuichi from _Gyakuten Saiben_.  
  
“I don’t know if you came here just to hang out, or whatever...” I shift my stance into a power pose, “But if you don’t take us seriously, then you won’t see the end of it.”  


Monika laughs under her breath, then turns to me. “Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom.”  
  
“M-M-M...!”

I get stuck between saying “Manga” and “Monika”. That was pretty mean! Why’d she have to make me out like I’m the bad guy here? I was just trying to teach the new guy a lesson!  


I feel like I have to say something, anything, or else my whole speech will have been for nothing.

“Manga is literature!” I shout, before turning and running to the back of the room, flopping down at my desk. Well, _that_ totally killed my mood.


	6. Blockhead is annoying!

**Chapter the sixth -  Blockhead is annoying**

 

“Don’t worry guys!” Sayori swoops in to try and save the day, “Emery always gives it his best as long as he’s having fun.”

I mean, yeah, you can have a good time, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of others!  


“He helps me all the time with busywork, like cooking, cleaning my room...” Sayori begins rattling off all of the amazing things about Emery. I pout a bit. I wish people had nice things to say about _me_.

“How dependable...” Yuri looks impressed as her expression immediately grows calmer. I don’t know why, but it feels a bit sour. When I tried to shut him up, I just made things awkward, but Sayori hams this guy up and suddenly everything’s great.

“Sayori,” Emery folds his arms and tilts his head to the side, “That’s because your room is so messy it’s distracting.” Well that’s a bit harsh. You sure you don’t just want to be around her?  


“And you almost set your house on fire the last time you cooked!”

Sayori fidgets. I want to shout at this guy. Aren’t you her friend? It’s okay to make mistakes, you know!

  
Maybe sometime I should teach Sayori how to bake. Then she could tell everyone about how cool I am!  


But where would we do that? I can’t really take her home...

“You two are really quite good friends, aren’t you?” Yuri smiles sweetly. “I might be a little jealous...”  
I’ll be your good friend! I can show you some really cool manga that you’d enjoy! I know they make manga adaptations of almost anything nowadays. I remember seeing Jane Austen’s _Pride and Prejudice_ as a manga the last time I went to _Hon-ya books_. I’ll help you pick something awesome out, and we can-

“How come?” Sayori pipes up, “You and Emery can become good friends too!”

Yuri and Emery look uncomfortable. Sayori’s just trying her best. She’s so innocent. We need to protect that smile under all costs.

“Oh! Oh! Yuri even brought you something today, you know!” Sayori nudges Yuri with her elbow, making her shift around.   
You barely know each other, and you’re already exchanging gifts? What is this, some kind of dating sim?

 

Yuri blushes beet red. Look how cute she is! Even when she’s nervous, she’s so pretty. Monika, of course, isn’t paying attention at all. I want to grab her head and make her see this. It can’t be just me, right?  
  
She takes a deep breath to compose herself, then pulls out a book, handing it to Emery. It looks huge.

“It’s a short read, so I thought it’d be helpful to get you adjusted to the club. And, maybe we could... discuss it...”

Yuri plays with her hair shyly. Look at this. LOOK AT THIS. This is wholesome.

Emery enthusiastically takes the book, then slumps down into a nearby desk. I wish someone would give me a gift like that. Maybe not that _exact_ gift, but, you know. Something that someone thought to pick out.

Sayori goes over to talk with Monika. I look over at Yuri, who’s already deep into her book. Brickhead is... Is he _sleeping_? What the hell, guy? Didn’t you hear me when I said you should be taking this club seriously?

Whatever. I guess I can go pick up _Parfait Girls_ whilst I wait for everyone else to finish up what they’re doing.

I open up the book again, but I can’t see any of the pictures. All I’m focusing on is what everyone else decided to write about.

I peer over the cover. Sayori’s gone over to try and wake him up. _Let me know if you locate any signs of intelligent life._

“Hey! This isn’t the napping club!” Sayori genuinely sounds disappointed. I don’t think I’ve seen her like this before, but it’s refreshing that _someone_ took my message to heart. “You can’t just stay up all night watching anime if it’s going to make you sleep in the club!”

Emery worriedly looks over his shoulder at Monika, who’s quietly humming to herself as she goes through some papers. Is he worried what she’ll think if she knows he watches anime?

_If you’re trying to be subtle, you’re doing a terrible job._

Emery’s now pointing out how hypocritical Sayori’s being by oversleeping. That’s pretty mean, to be honest.  
  
“Look! Your hair’s all messy, your bow’s crooked, and you’ve got toothpaste on your collar!” He tries to smooth out her collar, then starts buttoning up her blazer.

 _What’s with this guy? I can’t get a read on him. One minute he’s like a block of cheese, the next he’s all over Sayori!_  
I guess they really are great friends though. Maybe there’s something I’m not seeing about him.

I bury myself back into my book. I probably shouldn’t be listening in on them whilst they’re having a moment.

A few minutes pass. I can feel something hovering over me. I look up to see Emery looking back down at me.  
  
“Hey, would you like to read my poem?”

“Eh, sure, I guess”. I say, taking the paper. His handwriting’s not bad; I was expecting it to be pretty messy.

But... What is this?  
  
**My first poem**  
_Adventure  
Bliss_

 _Childhood_  
Friends  
Family  
Excitement  
Lucky  
Laugh  
Peaceful  
Together

_I... I’m not quite sure what to make of this..._  
  
“Well, it’s about what I expected from someone like you”  
He looks a bit hurt. “That’s a little blunt...”

“Well, excuse me.” Why am I being so hostile to him? I suppose I should at least make an effort to be pleasant.

“It’s not like I said it was _bad_. It just didn’t evoke any emotions.”  
He smirks. “So basically, it’s not cute enough for your tastes?”  


_Oh, you absolute pillock._  
  


“Do you want to get smacked?” I try to look intimidating, placing my hands on my hips. I’ll do it. Sayori better show up soon to hold me back.

 

“I’ll pass...” He sighs. Are you _trying_ to get me riled up?

 

_Wait, why’s he still here?_

 

Oh. Right.

 

“Well, I guess I need to show you my poem now... Not that you’ll like it.” I pull the second poem I wrote out of my bag, and hand it to him. He skims through it pretty quickly.

 

“Yeah...” I say, “I told you that you weren’t gonna like it.” This kind of stuff probably goes right over that thick head of his.

Instead, he lowers the poem. “I like it,”  


_Huh?_

“What? Just be honest!”

“I am. Why are you so convinced that I wouldn’t like it?”

Because you’re a grade-A idiot? Nah, I can’t say that.  
  
“W-Well, because! Everyone thinks that writing has to be all sophisticated and stuff, so most people don’t even take my writing seriously.”  


That... was surprisingly honest. It’s true; I don’t think I could write something that people would take at face value.  
  
“But isn’t the point of poetry for people to express themselves?” He asks. “Your writing style wouldn’t make your message any less valid.”  
  
_Wait. What he just said there... that’s actually pretty good. Congrats, Emery: You’ve managed to have a good thought._

“Yes! Exactly!” I gasp, not expecting to hear something smart from him. “I like when it’s easy to read, but it hits you hard.”  
  
That was also true. I’ve written a lot of poetry that I haven’t shared with anyone, but the message usually comes from reading between the lines.

 

I glance out the window. “Seeing everyone around you do great things can be really disheartening, so I decided to write about it.”  
  
That’s not really what it was about, but I can’t exactly tell him the real premise for the poem. It’s not like he’d understand.

“Yeah, I understand.”  
  
_Hmm..._

“But the other nice thing about simple writing is that it puts more weight on the wordplay. Like I set up for a rhyme at the end, but then made it fall flat on purpose. It helps bring out the feeling in the last line.”

_Damn, I’m good. I should start a club where people can share literature and... oh. Right._

“So you did... I guess more went into it than I realized.”

“That’s what it means to be a pro!”  
I strike another power pose, but I’m not sure I believe what I’m saying. I like writing and all, but...

I glance at him from the side. “I’m glad you learned something.”

“Heh, yeah...” he gives a bit of a forced laugh, and then turns away to share his poem with Monika.

Well, that wasn’t so bad... I guess this means I need to share with someone else, right?  
  



	7. Fighting Words

Yuri walks over to me, sheepishly holding her poem.

“I-I suppose we should exchange our poems?”

She’s clearly nervous, but she’s putting herself out of her comfort zone. I wish I could be more like that.

I smirk. “Alright, but brace yourself; This here’s top tier poetry!” I play up my own piece way too much, handing it over.

Yuri’s poem is certainly... Elegant, to say the least. But I’m not sure how many of these words I understand. Does she really know what all of these words mean?  


_What’s with this language?_

“Hmm? Did you say something?”  
  
_Oh shoot._ I thought that was just in my head, but I must’ve mumbled it.

“Eh..., Well, I guess you could say it’s fancy...” I settle on what I think is a compliment before handing it back.

Yuri smiles politely before looking to the side. “Ah... thanks. Yours is... cute...”

_Not you too!_

“Did you completely miss the point? It’s clearly about giving up. How is that cute?” I must sound a bit accusatory, because this makes Yuri stammer.

“I-I know! It’s just, your word choice... I just wanted to say something nice...”  


That’s not reassuring at all! If you didn’t like it, just be honest!

  
“You mean you have to try _that_ hard to come up with something nice to say? Thanks, but it really didn’t come out nice at all!” I fold my arms, turning my head away. Backhanded compliments are the worst.

 

Yuri clears her throat. She looks about ready to lecture me. “Well, I do have a couple of suggestions...”

I scoff. “If I wanted suggestions, I would have asked someone who actually liked it. Which people _did_ , by the way!”

Who liked it? I only got the chance to show it to Emery so far, and his opinion doesn’t really count for much. But I guess that’s all I’ve got to go on.

“E-Emery liked it! And so did Sayori!” I falter. I knew I was lying, but for some reason I couldn’t back down. She’s probably just trying to help me in her own way, but I can’t help feeling angry at her.

“So based on that, I’ll gladly give you some pointers of my own. First-“  
Yuri raises her hand to interrupt me.

“Excuse me, but I’ve spent a long time establishing my style. Whilst I appreciate the offer, I don’t expect anything to change that unless I come across something _particularly_ inspiring.”

She nods, closing her eyes. “Which I haven’t yet.”  
  
Why did that get under my skin so much? Is she saying my writing isn’t able to inspire?  
  
“Oh, and Emery told me he liked my poem as well. He even went as far to say that he was impressed by it.”

  
Of course he did. Thanks, dude. Couldn’t just hold off on that and let me win one. However, this gives me a new angle...

I stand up, my shoulders wide, flashing a smile. “I didn’t realize you were so invested in trying to gain our new member’s approval.”  
  
This seems to have caught her off-guard. She looks flustered, but she also gets out of her seat.

“Th-That’s not...! I think you’re jealous that he appreciates my advice more than yours!”  


What? Even if he’s an idiot, he’s got to know I have my head on right. I know what I want to say without having to dance around the subject.

 

“What makes you so sure of that? Are you that full of yourself?”

I know that sounded mean. I feel a bitter taste in my mouth. I immediately regret it.

Yuri looks offended. “Of course not! If I _were_ , I’d go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy, like one of your manga characters!”  


I freeze. I wasn’t expecting her to fire back like that. She hit a nerve.

I try to breathe slowly, but I can’t calm down. I’m pissed now.

We seem to have attracted some attention. Sayori shyly wanders over.  
  
“Is everyone okay?”  


If she was going to hit below the belt like that, I guess I’ve no choice but to fight fire with fire. I extend my arm, pointing right at her. I’m Karuma Mei, and I have my perfect testimony!  
  
“Well, I wasn’t the one whose boobs magically grew as soon as Emery started showing up!”  
  
I knew that this was a baseless accusation, but she started it! I’m sure I’ll feel bad about this later, but I want to win this argument!  
  
I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or not. She _does_ already have a fairly sizable, um, posture. I think I’d notice a difference, but Perhaps this silly insult will throw her off a bit.

Yuri is taken aback. Monika now tries to intervene, smiling nervously.

“Natsuki, I think that’s a bit-“  
  
“This doesn’t concern you!” I shout back. Even if they’re my friends, I’ve come too far to surrender.

Sayori Whimpers. “I don’t like fighting, you guys!”  
 

Yuri turns to Emery, who’s been here this whole time.

“Sh-She’s just trying to badmouth me!”  


“That’s not true!” What would I have to gain from making her look bad?

“If she could get over herself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective, then this wouldn’t be happening right now! She started it! What’s the point in making everything super complicated?”

  
I felt _Pursuit - Cornered_ play in my head, dramatically pointing outward. “The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to have to figure it out!”

 

I look over to Emery. “Surely you can relate to that, right?”

I imagine he would, at least. I know whatever’s rattling around in his head can’t be able to process big words like “Big” and “Word”.  
  
That’s not to say my writing style’s for idiots, so don’t get the wrong idea! I just think most people don’t appreciate being patronized whenever they crack open a book.

“But wait!” Yuri interjects, “There’s a reason we have such a vast array of words in our language! How else can we truly convey our deepest feelings?”  
Yuri pivoted towards me. She had “Determination” written across her face in elegant cursive.”  
  
“Avoiding them is just needlessly handicapping yourself!” She declared triumphantly.

Damn, that’s...well, it sounds good at least.

“Surely you comprehend that, Emery?”  


Emery looks disconcerted. I didn’t really mean for him to get involved in this scuffle, but hopefully he doesn’t say anything dumb.

 

Nah, that’s probably expecting too much.      


	8. Resolution

“...Sayori!” He blurts out. Sayori looks over at him, puzzled.”  
  
“Y-Yeah, you guys are making Sayori uncomfortable! Why are you fighting like that, when you know how it makes your friend feel?”  


Sayori gives Emery a warm smile.

 

“Well, that’s her problem! This isn’t about her!” I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh, but you shouldn’t try and drag her into this!  
  
Surprisingly, Yuri agrees. “It’s unfair for others to insert their own feelings into the conflicts of others.”  


“Yeah,” I start, jabbing my thumb in Yuri’s direction, “unless she wants to tell Yuri what a jerk she’s being.”  


Understandably, Yuri doesn’t let that slide. “Excuse me? It’s your immaturity that’s upsetting her in the first place!”   
  
And so the cycle continues.

“Are you kidding me? Are you listening to yourself right now?”

 

Oh no. I can feel myself about to say something I know I’ll regret.  
  
“This is exactly why... Why nobody likes-“

“Guys!” Mercifully, Sayori cuts me off. “You guys are my friends! I just want everyone to be happy and get along with eachother...”

I lower my head slightly in shame. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me.

“I love you guys _because_ of your differences! Natsuki,” she turns to me, “Your poems are amazing because they say so much whilst saying so little!”  
  
Wow... if only I’d thought of saying that earlier, we could’ve avoided all of this.

“And Yuri, your poems create these beautiful images in your head!”  
  
I guess she has a point. Even if some of that stuff is a bit pretentious, I will admit it _does_ make you think.  


Sayori looks outside wistfully. “Everyone’s so talented... So why are we fighting?”  
  
I feel really guilty now. I shouldn’t have said those things.

 

“Also!” Sayori stands upright, “Natuski’s cute, and there’s nothing wrong with that!”  
  
_But I’m not! Even if I were, I’m so much more than that! Why can’t anyone..._

_I’m doing it again. She’s trying to help._

“And Yuri’s boobs are the same as they always were! Big and beautiful!”

Sayori! That’s totally inappropriate! Even if that’s technically true, that’s probably super embarrassing for her! How would you feel if people randomly and pretty loudly talked about your boobs? Even if you also have a good, uh, “reading posture”, you probably wouldn’t like it if...  
  
_Woah, this thought took a weird turn. Let’s stop this train for now._  
  
Sayori has her hand clenched into a fist, proudly in the centre of her chest. Monika is looking on from behind, looking totally gobsmacked. Sayori’s too precious for this world; what did we do to deserve her?  
  
Yuri fidgets with her hair, not sure what to do with herself. “I, u-um, I’ll go make some tea...” she says before hastily retreating out of the room, kettle in hand.

Well... I guess _that_ just happened. I eventually end up slumping back down into my chair, staring at the wall in front of me. _I probably made everyone pretty uncomfortable... I should apologize..._

Suddenly, I see a hand waving in front of my face.

“Helloooooooo?”  
  
I flinch, jumping back slightly. Oh, it’s just... Sayori?

“Eh? What do you want?”  
“Well,” Sayori presses her fingers together, “I just wanted to, y’know, check in with you, I guess? Is everything going okay? You seem a little bit on edge today, y’know?”

She places her hand on my arm, but she presses right on the bruises. I yank my arm back way too quickly to not cause suspicion, wincing slightly.

“Ah! Oh! Uh, yeah! No, yeah, I’m fine! I guess I’m just not used to sharing my writing like that yet...”  
  
Sayori shrugs. “Hey, if you ever want to talk about anything, you let me know, yeah? It makes me sad when I see a little raincloud floating over my friends.”  
  
Her words genuinely make me smile a little. There should be a club dedicated to protecting her from the harsh world. She’s too sweet, like a fluffy little cinnamon roll.

 

“Th-Thanks...” I stutter. She beams at me, then wheels around, humming a little song to herself. She’s kind of goofy, but lovable. She really does care about everyone.

“Okay, Everyone!” Monika announces, her hand raised for attention, “It’s about time for us to leave. Did you all enjoy sharing your poems?”  


“It was so fun!” Sayori says enthusiastically, giggling slightly.

“I-I suppose it was a unique experience...” Yuri says to herself.

I can’t look at anyone. I feel like I’ve made things weird. “It was alright. Well, mostly...”

“It was kind of neat to hear everyone’s perspective,” Emery says matter-of-factly.

“Awesome!” Monika smiles. “In that case, let’s all do the same thing for tomorrow!

With the meeting adjourned, Sayori floats over to Emery, asking him if he wants to walk home with her. _They look good together..._

I swing my bag over my shoulder, and sneak out of the back door. Walking down the stairs, I can hear my light footsteps echoing through the halls. Seeing those two... it reminds me of how lonely I am.

  
There’s a stop I need to make before I head home.

I reach the end of the first floor hallway, looking all around. The coast is clear. I duck around the corner, face to face with the school vending machines. They’re lined tantalizingly with all kinds of snacks and drinks. Sometimes, I like to come down here just to look at all of the food. It’s kind of amazing seeing so much food in one place.

 

My stomach grumbles at me. _Maybe I have some money...?_  
  


I fumble about in my pockets, and fish out a few coins. _Damn, this is barely not enough..._

I fall to my knees in defeat. I can feel my eyes aching, daring me to let my guard down, even for a second. I don’t want to cry here.

However, now that I’m lower to the ground, my eye’s caught on something shiny underneath the vending machine. I lower myself down to the ground to get a closer look.

 _Is that... it is!_  
  
A silver coin is sitting peacefully near the wall under the machine. I’m pretty sure if I can get it, I’ll have enough money to buy something!  
  
I reach out for the coin. It’s just barely out of my reach. I’m going to have to do some creative maneuvers to get it. Lying on the floor, I can stretch my arm all the way out. I can feel it against my fingertips! If I’m careful, I can slowly scooch it over...

It was at this moment I noticed a tall silhouette at the other end of the hallway. I freeze.

_Fuck! Is that... Yuri?!_

Whoever it is, they look back in shock, then turn away quickly.


	9. Nice

I immediately try to stand up, but forget that my arm’s still underneath the vending machine, pulling me forwards and making me smack my forehead right into the front of it. I fall backwards, disoriented.

I sniffle. I don’t want to cry here, but everything seems to be piling up. Eventually I’m not going to be able to keep it inside.

_No, I have to focus on what’s happening right now... what was I doing?_

I open my hand, revealing the silver coin. That’s right! I was getting food!  
  
I slowly place the coins from my pocket into the machine, hearing them gently roll down. I settle on a small package of snack cakes. Ideally, I would have gotten something a bit more nourishing, but I couldn’t afford the protein bars down near the bottom.

As the cakes hit the bottom of the machine with a soft _Plop_ , I can’t shake the feeling I’m forgetting something...

Oh.

_Oh no._

Someone saw me rooting around under the machine. I think it was Yuri, but I’m not totally sure. If it was her, I should go find her. I need to clear this up.

I steadily walk in the direction that they turned off, maintaining my pace. I don’t want to run, because I feel like I might cry if I exert myself any more.

I peek into rooms as I pass them, but I don’t see anyone. _Did they vanish?_

This is silly. I was probably just seeing things. I should just go home before it gets too late...

The front doors of the school are shut, and they’re heavy. I suppose it makes sense; it’s past the end of the school day by a good margin. With some effort, I manage to wrestle the doors open, but I push a little too hard and end up losing my footing.

I stumble through the door clumsily, and land right on my face.

Now I can’t stop the tears. As much as I scrunch my eyes and try to stifle the sniffles, I can feel them escaping my eyes.

_Is this my punishment for earlier?_

I don’t have long to my thoughts, as someone nearby clears their throat.

“H-Hey!”  
  
I look over in the direction of the voice. It belonged to Yuri, who had been reclined against the wall, book in hand. _Did she... did she wait for me?_

“A-Ah! Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?!” I spit out, a bit too forcefully.

“Um, I thought... uuuu” She tries to find her words, shuffling her feet on the ground. “D-Did I see you earlier? I wanted to ask if you were okay?”  
  
_Fuck! That’s right. It was her. She saw me looking for coins underneath the vending machines._  
  
I stand up, dusting myself off. “I-It’s not what it looks like! I just thought...”

I wrack my brain for an acceptable sounding explanation, but I can’t think of anything remotely realistic.

“...Never mind. Just, I need you to forget what you saw, alright?”

Yuri sighs plaintively. “Um, I know it’s not my business or a-anything, but... you just looked a bit downcast... I-If it was because of my conduct earlier-“  
  
“No! It’s okay!” I cut her off, “If anyone needs to apologize, I should do it.”

I retreive the little package of snack cakes, and tear off the wrapper. I pull out one of the two cakes, and extend it out to her.

“S-So, y’know... Sorry, I guess...” I mumble.

She looks inquisitively at the cake in my hand.

“Just take it, okay? I-I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand earlier!”

She blinks for a second, but then lets a small smile play across her face as she takes the cake.

“Thank you for this olive branch. I know it takes courage to own up to your mistakes.”  
Yuri pauses for a brief moment before taking a dainty bite from the cake.

 

I take a comparatively bigger bite. I’m hungry, and I can’t hide it. Although it’s nowhere near as good as anything I can make, it’s still tasty. The processed frosting doesn’t really taste of anything natural, but I don’t care.

“I think having someone new in the club threw off our auras a bit,” Yuri sighs, almost to herself.

I furrow my brow, taking another bite of the cake. “You referring to the boy Sayori brought in?”  
  
“Y-yeah... What do you think of him?”  
  
I cough without meaning to. “To be honest? I’m not sure I like him much.  He doesn’t really think before he speaks.” I mean, the same could be said about myself, but it’s different!

Yuri laughs slightly, then catches herself. “I think I understand what you’re alluding to. He and Sayori do get on well though, don’t they?”  


“I guess they do.” I say, finishing my cake. I don’t know their full story, but there must be _some_ reason she likes him. Even if I think he’s like a rock with a face, I should try to at least be cordial around him.”  
  
“So,” I start, smirking, “were you really trying to impress him?”  
  
Yuri gulps. “H-Huh? No! Well, not l-like that! I guess I just...” She stops to play with a clip in her hair. I don’t know why, but it’s kind of endearing to see this side of her.

“I-I guess I just got a bit caught up in the moment... D-Don’t be mad at me!”  
  
I laugh. _I don’t think I could truly be mad at you if I tried._ “Don’t worry about it. If anything, I should be the one worrying about that.”  
  
I take a deep breath, looking up at the sky. “So, were you trying to impress anyone else?”  
  
“E-Eh?!” Yuri blushes, her eyes frantically darting about.

I playfully punch Yuri in the shoulder. “Haha, relax. I’m just teasing you.”  
  
She sighs in relief. She looks ahead of her for a short while before speaking again.

“S-So, are you sure you’re doing okay? I know I might come off as a bit... weird, but...” she turns to me. “I-I’m here if you need to talk to someone, okay?”  
  
Now it’s my turn to act flustered. “G-Geez! I’m fine! I-It’s not like there’s something sinister going on or anything! But...” I try to smile warmly at her. “Th-Thanks, I guess.”  
  
I stand up. “I should probably head home before it gets too late. I wouldn’t want my dad to worry about me...” I laugh on the outside, but I doubt he cares about where I am. If anything, I don’t want him to be looking for me. However, if I’m not home soon...

“O-Oh, of course,” Yuri says. “I suppose I’ll see you at the club meeting tomorrow then?”  
  
I give her a thumbs up and a smile. “For sure! I hope you’re ready to be floored by my next poem!”  
  
She giggles a little. “I’ll look forward to that.”  
  
I wave to her, and start walking home. That was... nice. I don’t usually get to have peaceful moments like that with other people. I’d like to do this again sometime. But right now, I have more pressing matters to think about. _What should I write for the club tomorrow...?_


	10. Since I'm apologetic, I'll make cookies for my friend

**Chapter the tenth - Because I’m apologetic, I’ll bake cookies for my friend**

I arrive home rather unceremoniously. I gently latch the door shut, and as furtively as possible, I make a beeline for my room.

Sighing, I remove my blazer, and place it around my chair, then plop down into it. Looking over my arm, there’s still noticeable welts. I try to touch one but it stings really bad, making me jerk my arm back, reflexively sucking air through my teeth.

“Kthhh-!”

_Today might’ve been up and down, but at least it was better than yesterday._

Anyways, I should probably write a poem for tomorrow. Smiling, I remember hanging out with Yuri earlier. We may have our differences, but she’s actually pretty cool.

I reach for my pen, smoothing out some paper in front of me, ready to-

 **BANG BANG BANG  
** “EEK!” I’m startled by the sudden loud noise, and accidentally throw the pen across the room.

The banging continues. “C-Coming, Papa!”  


I open the door a crack, but he pushes against it, opening it fully. He stands tall in the doorway. He has something in his hand... a piece of paper?

“Sweetie...” He stares right through me with his soulless, sunken eyes, “Would you like to fill me in on something?”

I gulp. “W-W-What is it, Papa?”

_Oh god. What happened? What did I do?_

He lets out a sharp breath, and reveals the piece of paper he’d been holding. It’s a drawing of Minori from _Parfait Girls_ , proudly bowing in the outfit she wore to the New year’s festival in Volume 14. I remember drawing this the other day; it must have fallen out of my bag some time yesterday when I tripped over.

“Would you like to tell me what this is?” He said, way too calmly to be reassuring.

“U-U-Um...” I had no idea what to say.

He pounded his fist against the door, making me jolt upright. “SPEAK UP!”  
“M-Minori! It’s Minori!” I whimper, taking a step backwards. He takes a step forwards.

“I thought we talked about this, sweetie...” He took another step forward. He was blocking the only door in my room. I was trapped.

Suddenly he reaches forward, grabbing me by the shoulders, pinning my arms to my side. “If I find this _Shit_ in my house again, there’ll be _hell_ to pay... Is that clear?”

I’m paralyzed. All I can do is stare into his eyes as they suck out all joy I’ve ever known.

“WELL?!”  
“Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-“ I can only stammer.

He throws me to the side with force. The back of my head connects with the wall, right below my left ear, as well as my shoulder.

I... I hear... the door slam shut as he wheels around... I can’t see anything except... the fuzzy black lights... twinklinggggggggg...

 Everything is... so floatyyyyyyyyyy... it’s spinny...

Suddenly, I see... trees? Tall trees, lining a fine meadow. I stand up, looking around. The sun is harsh, making me shield my eyes. A soft, summer breeze whistles through the grass, making it playfully dance.

In the distance is a large oak tree, with a checkered blanket underneath its shade. A large woven basket is set off to the side.

“Picnic!” I gasp. I love picnics!   
I run through the meadow, feeling the grass gently tickling my feet.

As I run closer and closer, I can see the trees around me getting closer, but the picnic display doesn’t seem to move. This only makes me run faster towards it.

After what seems like an hour, I still haven’t made any progress towards the picnic. It was only once I’d stopped that I noticed the grass was now considerably taller, coming just past my waist. Suddenly, I hear a voice behind me.

“Hello there, sweetie...”  


Oh no.

 

I try to continue running, but my legs keep getting caught in the grass! There’s too much!  


I look over my shoulder and see him slowly walking towards me, each footstep ricocheting through my very being. The steps get louder and louder, shaking the whole world. The giant oak shakes, dropping its leaves.

“NO!” I shout, bolting upright. My breaths are shallow and rapid. My hands are shaking. I can feel my heart trying to escape through my throat. What happened...?  
  
It was a dream? Just a bad dream?

My head is pounding. What happened earlier...

 

Oh yeah! Poem! I need to write a poem! For the club tomorrow!  
I drag myself over to my desk. I have no idea what time it is, but it look like the sun has just set.

I reach for my pen, and start writing. I get about two stanzas in before I realize I’m not even holding anything. _Where did my pen go...?_

Out of nowhere, I have a flashback to before. I’m frozen in front of him, the belt snapping against my arm all over again, the painful _SNAP_ replaying in my head, over, and over, and over and overandoverandoverandoverandover-

“Heyyyyyyy! Are you doing alright?” a voice echoes in my head. I recognize that...

“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you, okay?”

 

_Sayori..._

 

I don’t want to think about writing anything just yet, so I open my door ever so slightly, and listen.

 

Silence.

 

He was out. Where, I didn’t know, and hell, I didn’t care. I had a chance here. I should do something nice for Sayori, since she was nice to me earlier.

Making my way to the kitchen, I remove a tray from the oven and set it to pre-heat. After washing my hands, I go through the hidey-holes in the cupboard and the fridge. I was going to make Sayori a big cookie. She’ll love it; She’s sweet, it’s _a_ sweet, it’s perfect.

 

As I’m mixing the dough, I pause. _I think I have enough...”_

I add more of each ingredient. I deserve a little treat for tomorrow as well. We can be like, cookie friends or something, like when Minori made cookies for Hanako-chan in volume 16, chapter 4.

I didn’t have enough chocolate to make both of them with chocolate chips, so I decided to place a big dollop of dough off to the side. That one could be for Sayori; I’ll think of something to do with it later. I need some chocolate.

I break off a tiny piece of chocolate and pop it into my mouth, before cracking the rest of the bar into small chunks. It’s delicious; it melts into a decadent, silky fondant as I add the chunks to my cookie.

I decide to make Sayori’s cookie a snickerdoodle. It sounds silly, and she likes silly words, so she’ll probably get a kick out of that. Once everything’s mixed, I place both cookies in the oven.

Soon, the house smells heavenly. I almost forget I’m in my own home for a brief moment.

_Perhaps whilst these cool, I should work on tomorrow’s poem..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a reference to Watamote, where chapters and episodes are titled similarly.
> 
> I decided I would use some of my personal experiences in this chapter. I also grew up around abusive family, and drew from things that have happened to me in the past. The instance where papa throws her against the wall is a particular event that I have stress nightmares and flashbacks about; It left me concussed, and I remember being supplied an excuse to tell my peers in university. Banging on doors specifically, but loud noises in general are also fairly big triggers. I imagine there's no way Natsuki doesn't have PTSD from her implied home life, and that's an area I have some knowledge about. As painful as it is to read/write stuff like this, it's still important to remember the game has some darker sides as well; it's not all sunshine and happy thoughts.


	11. Starlight

**Chapter the Eleventh – Starlight**

I carefully wrap the cookies in cling film, and place them at the back of my drawer in the fridge. Sayori’s going to be pumped!  
  
_Now, I should probably write a poem..._

I return to my room, scooping up the pen I’d lost earlier from the corner. It had a small crack near the top, but it still worked fine.

 _A lot happened today, huh?_  
I scratch my head with the end of the pen, trying to jumpstart the words. Maybe I could try writing a complicated poem like Yuri?  
  
**Maelstrom**

_Pacifism wrought with silver tears,_

_Golden hearts from bygone years,_

_Fractured pancakes, dreams forlorn,_

_A neglected, tragic unicorn,_

_Dusty roses buried in mist._

_Painful cries, brutish pugilist,_

_Leave me to my sunken snow,_

_Where slender eyelashes glisten and glow,_

_Perilous plea from deep within,_

_Is this retribution for my sins?_

_Blazing eyes, crackling nerves,_

_Winding veins, azure curves,_

_Pixelated cuffs, haunting shackles,_

_Ghostly bruises, howling cackles,_

_Piercing moonlight, final flash,_

_I just want it all to stop._

 

Ooh, that gives me shivers. I don’t think it’s appropriate for the club, but... I think I might hang on to this one. It’s kind of weird writing in someone else’s style; like you can feel them sitting with you, you know?

I look over to the door and see the crumpled drawing of Minori on the floor. Despite the tears and wrinkles, she’s still beaming. _I wish I had someone I could share this stuff with. Someone who wouldn’t judge me..._

I sigh. Maybe I can write about this feeling of robbed time? I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had a friend who I could freely share my interests with. Keeping so much of your life locked up and hidden from others is super tiring.

 _Maybe I can write about someone who could be my friend, but doesn’t want to because I like manga..._  
  
It’d be a bit egotistical to use my own name though. It might make people miss the point. Whilst I do want the message to be clear, it’s boring if it’s _that_ obvious.

 

“Amy” Is the first name that comes to mind. I don’t know why, but it seems to fit. It’s not a super abstract name, and it’s quite different from my own name, so I doubt people will guess the poem’s about me unless I tell them.

_Now, what’s something people don’t like…? Well, what’s something I personally dislike?_

I neatly write down _Dense Visual Novel protagonists_ , but then cross it out, laughing to myself. _Okay, that’s funny, but that’s totally off topic._

I don’t really like spiders... he used to have a pet Tarantula, and it was gross! It was hairy and had these weird like snippy things and it would wiggle them and, it was just icky! When I was a little kid and I misbehaved, he would lock me in the cupboard with it until I learned my lesson. Or at least, until he was satisfied.

_You know what I heard about Amy? She likes spiders..._

I straighten out the paper, and read it over. It’s quite a bit longer than the poem I wrote for yesterday, but that’s okay. It shouldn’t be too confusing; I was careful to keep things to the point. Whilst using complicated words was fun for a little bit, it’s not really “me”. I hope the others like it.

I delicately fold the poem and place it in my schoolbag. I don’t know how much time’s passed, but the moon’s now fully in the sky. _I should probably think about getting ready for bed..._

I lazily wander out to the bathroom, and turn the tap, waiting for a steady stream of warm water to flow out. I don’t like it being too cold; it hurts my teeth.   
As I brush my teeth, I think about what tomorrow could bring. _This won’t be forever, right?_ I feel kind of stuck here.

There’s one more thing I need to get before I climb into bed. I unzip my schoolbag, and rummage around for a bit until I feel what I’m looking for against my fingers. I pull out Teacup, the small plush cat my mum had given me as a kid. I can’t sleep unless I have him. I don’t know why I decided to call him that, but four-year-old Natsuki had decided it was the best name ever.

He has to live in my bag, or else he might be found and... I don’t want to think about what might happen if I didn’t have him.

I wriggle underneath the covers, cuddling Teacup close to my chest. I can feel my head still pounding through my pillow. The stars are fully visible outside; the night sky’s the clearest it’s been in a long time.

I like the stars; even though they’re so far away, they still try their best to reach you with their light. It’s been one of my dreams ever since I was a kid to go stargazing with someone. I hope I get to see that day in the future.

I close my eyes, squeezing Teacup. _Tomorrow’s a brand new day..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what I heard about TacticalCupcakes? She likes Splatoon.
> 
> Hopefully this doesn't feel like filler, I just really wanted to have a bit more of Natsuki at home, instead of just immediately cutting to the next in-game day. Also, sorry if y'all don't like the idea of her having a stuffed animal, it just feels kinda natural. Why's he called Teacup? When I was a kid, I had a cat who would drink tea by dunking her paw in the mug and then licking it, and repeating it. She loved Earl Grey.


	12. Cease

I was spacing out all day, waiting for the literature club. I could still feel my head pounding from yesterday, the rhythmic pulsing breaking my concentration.

I opened up my bag, tracing my finger around the wrapped cookies I’d prepared last night. Seeing my friend’s smile would cheer me up a bit!  
With my other hand, I mindlessly played with a pencil, rolling it back and forth along the desk, picking it up and watching it clack as I dropped it. I was really happy with how the cookies had turned out... Sometimes, I even amaze myself...

“Natsuki!”

 _Urk._ The teacher was looking right at me. The other students shortly followed, their gazes methodically snapping towards me, one by one.

“I-If you refrigerate the dough for 30 minutes, the cookies will be crunchy on the outside, but soft on the inside!” I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. I wasn’t paying attention at all; I was too busy thinking about damn cookies!

Evidently, that wasn’t the answer he was looking for, judging by the subsequent laughing from my peers.

The teacher sighed, massaging his temples. “That may be, but it has nothing to do with our current lesson now, does it?”  


My face feels hot. I can feel myself glowing bright red as my classmates all laugh again.

“N-No sir...” I squeak, sinking down into my chair.

“Right... Well, let’s continue, shall we?”  
  
_What a jerk! I’m just trying to function over here!_

 

 After class ended, I hurried over to my locker to put away by books; I had art next, so all the relevant materials would be provided.

I let out a long breath, just standing in front of my locker, book in hand. _That was embarrassing..._  
  
Suddenly, I feel a hand press against the back of my head, pushing me forward into the locker. My forehead collides with the metal with a loud **THUNK,** making me fall to the ground. Dazed, I fall to the ground, holding my head.

“Did you fry your brain as well as those cookies, fun-size?” a male voice taunted. I looked up; he was super tall, at least a full foot higher than me. “Oh? What have we here...”   


He swooped down, picking up my notebook. I must have dropped it on impact.

“H-Hey! That’s mine!” I stand up, feeling the blood rush to my head. I stagger backwards dizzily, but soon regain my bearings.

“Hey, everyone! Check this out! Fun-Size over here fancies herself as a poet!”  
  
“W-What?! That’s private!”  
  
I run at him, but feel his palm stop me. He has a firm grip on my forehead, stopping me dead in my tracks. I feebly try and grab at my book, waving my arms around, but he’s pushing me just out of reach.

“ _Amy likes spiders..._ Oh, that’s adorable. You think you’re better than Amy?”  


_You pillock, I’m Amy! Can’t you see the symbolism?! If you’re gonna read stuff that isn’t yours, at least make an effort to understand it!_

He reads the poem out loud in a mocking tone to anyone who’ll stop to listen, still holding me back as I try in vain to snatch the book back. Once he finishes, I hear some giggling, and the book snapping shut. Apparently satisfied, he pushes me back. As I land on the floor, he carelessly tosses the book in my vague direction.

  
“Don’t quit your day job there, fun-size.”

He laughs an ugly laugh, and turns around on his heel, clomping off.

I’d be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. I mean, obviously it hurt physically, but I’m accustomed to that. The emotional pain was far worse. I could feel the searing flames behind my eyes, the footsteps around me drowned out by the blood rushing through my ears.

 _Why doesn’t anyone take me seriously?!_  
  
I want to scream, but I think I’ll cry if I try to speak. I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of making me cry. My eyelids ache as I try to stop the tears. I barely succeed.

I slowly get up, dusting myself off. Why do I have to be so small? If I was big, people wouldn’t mess with me...

I imagine how that encounter might have played out differently if I were bigger...

_He’s picking on some other kid, but then he stops as he hears thumping footsteps echo down the halls. Dropping the kid, he stands up, curious. Soon, his worst fears are realized; I purposefully stride over. I tower over him, with rippling muscles. He gulps as I crack my knuckles._

_“Square up,” I grin, rolling my neck around._

I laugh at the sheer absurdity of that mental image. There’s no way anyone could be _that_ buff. That fantasy made me feel a little better. It’s good to try and work out your problems by yourself; I don’t want to make people hate me even more by piling this sort of baggage on them.

I close my locker. _Just a couple more hours, and I can go to the literature club..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the hell did I get manage to fit Buffsuki into this dumb story along with the other memes I've put in here
> 
> Another part of the day we don't get to see in the regular playthrough. If you follow Natsuki's route, she tells the player that she's had a very bad day, so I wanted to depict that. Hopefully it's not too hard to read, or mean of me.


	13. Doki-Chan wa Kataritai!

_Today’s been a long day._  
  


The river looked nice today. The sky was blue, and little sailboats were having fun splashing in the water. I grinned, adjusting my shades and taking a lick of my ice cream. It was nice to have a bit of peace.

It looked like everyone else was equally happy; kids were laughing as they ran back and forth between Frisbees, puppies were chasing butterflies, and the sun was smiling.

 _I wish I could be here forever._  
  
Then, the bell rung, waking me up.

I jumped out of my seat, startled by the unexpected loud noise. Fortunately, I don’t think anyone noticed I was asleep...

 _Damn it, I need to stop doing that..._  
  
But, at last, it was the end of the day, which meant I could finally head over to the literature club. I needed it after everything else that happened today.

As I walk through the door, Sayori gives me an enthusiastic wave. I smile, and then remember the cookies. I begin to walk over-

“Hey, Sayori!” Emery walks in, catching her attention. _You seriously have the worst timing..._

Sayori beams at him. “Hey! I was looking for you actually!”  
  
Emery shrugs. “Oh? Why’s that”  
Sayori presses her fingers together. “I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to buy a snack.”  
“Nah, I’m good.”  
Sayori looks shocked. “What? That’s not like you a-at all!”

“I have my reasons,” Emery smirks. “Why don’t we take a look at your purse, Sayori?”  


_Well, that’s certainly a bit forward._  
  


Sayori laughs nervously. “W-why that all of a sudden?”  
  
“No reason, I just think we should have a look.”

Sayori looks a little kid who got caught sneaking pudding before dinner. She pulls her purse out of her bag, opens it, and tips it upside down, allowing a lonely coin to fall out and rattle on the desk in front of her. _Oh, I get it! She was trying to get him to take a walk with her!_  
  
That’s kinda cute, like something out of an otome game. Except he was supposed to agree and go with her. Unfortunately for her, I’ve met lampposts that could pick up on playful hints like that better than this guy.

Still, I have to give Sayori credit. It was the perfect plan, with just one hitch. I chuckle to myself softly, pulling the cookies out of my bag. _Let’s see how far this goes..._

“Gotcha!” Emery folds his arms, looking smug. He looks kind of like Housuke Odoroki, except without the funky hair spikes.

Sayori sinks a little.  “You meanie! How did you know?” _Wait, he knows things?_  
  


“Elementary, my dear,” Emery says, clearly reveling in the opportunity to appear somewhat smart. “If you had enough money yourself, you’d have already bought a snack, so either you’re not hungry and wanted an excuse to take a walk, or you planned to conveniently forget that you spent all of your money, so I’d lend you some!”  
  
Sayori pouts. She can be pretty cute when she wants to be.

“But the other thing is...” Emery pauses for dramatic effect, “You’re always hungry, leaving only one option!”

  
“Kyah!” Sayori recoils as Emery points at her triumphantly, “Don’t make me feel guiltyyy!”  


Emery sighs, and tilts his head at Sayori. “If you feel guilty, that means you deserve to feel guilty...”  


_Damn. That’s dark, dude. And also pretty mean._

“haha!”  
  
We all turn to the corner of the classroom to see Yuri laughing to herself behind a book. It looks as though she was listening in to them. She opens her eyes, and it takes her a full three seconds to realize we were all looking at her.

“Wait, I-I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything!” She gasps, rapidly turning the pages of her book.

“I just, umm... I read something funny just now!” She laughs nervously, holding up the book and pointing at the pages. _She’s cute when she’s flustered like that._

  
“Yuriiiii...” Sayori looks at Yuri dejectedly, her eyes wide and shiny, “Can you tell Emery to lend me some money?”

“Don’t get me involved like that! Consider this a lesson in saving your money only for things you can responsibly afford.”

  
Yuri puts her book down, and combs her hair out of her eyes.

  
“To be honest, after pulling a mischievous little stunt like that, your suffering is fair enough retribution.”  
  
_Woah, Woah, WOAH. Back up. That’s cold-blooded Yuri, Damn! Isn’t that going a bit overboard?_

  
I stand up to say something, but Yuri immediately loses her composure again. It looks like she regrets being so forceful with her words.

“I-I Didn’t mean that! I-It’s just, my book-“ She goes to point at the open pages of her book again, but she forgot she doesn’t have it in her hands anymore. She immediately flushes a bright red, pulling her hair over her face.

Sayori smiles. “I like seeing this side of you, Yuri. I don’t see it often, but it’s fun!”

Yuri peers through her hair, still embarrassed. “T-There’s no way you could mean that...” _She’s a good person really, she just has a bit of a tough time talking with other people._  


“But you’re right,” Sayori says, proudly holding her fist to her chest, “I did something bad, and I now have to accept the revolution.”  
  
I let a small laugh escape. Fortunately, I don’t think anyone heard. I just had a really funny mental image of Sayori just acting completely out of character in a super serious play, just wearing a fluffy hat and trying to cheer everyone up.

 

“Retribution...” Yuri corrects her. “Still, coming from you, I guess there’s a little devil in all of us, isn’t there?”

 

_That’s..._

I think back to earlier in the day. And the previous day. And the previous day. And the previous day. And the previous day. And the previous day. And the previ-

 

“Don’t let her fool you, she knows _exactly_ what she’s doing.” Emery points forward again in objection. “After all, you guys knew I was joining this club before even I did...”

“B-But! You wouldn’t have come if it weren’t for the cupcakes, so I had to trick Natsuki into making them!”

That snaps me back to the present. _Don’t speak for me! I was making them anyway, don’t make it sound like I was trying to impress him!_

_You know what? I think I could have some fun here..._

  
I pick up the snickerdoodle, and playfully toss it towards Sayori. It hits her right in the side of her face. She squeaks in surprise, catching the cookie as it falls.

“Wha... It’s a miracle! Is it because I paid my restitution?”

“Retribution...” Emery says half-heartedly.

“Actually, that one almost worked,” Yuri says, smiling.

I decide now’s a good time to reveal myself. I stand up, laughing.

“I _was_ just gonna give it to you, but then I heard you blabbing about my cupcakes. But it was totally worth it to see your reaction!”

Sayori shows me a genuine smile. I think she really does appreciate the gesture.

No, wait, she definitely does. She’s hugging the cookie now.

“Geez, just eat it already...” Emery says impatiently. _Oh, get outta town, brickhead! Look at how happy she is! I’ll say it again, we need to deploy Special Forces dedicated to protecting that smile._

Sayori hungrily tears off the cling film, and shoves it into her mouth, taking a big bite. I unwrap my own cookie, and take a small nibble. I want to savour this.

“Mmm! It’sh sho good!” Sayori says with her mouth full, before suddenly clasping her hands over her mouth.

“Aah! I bid my tugu!”

I chuckle. “You’re going through a lot over just one cookie.” _She’s so wholesome. Can you teach me how to be happy like you?_

I take another small bite out of my cookie. I do have to agree though; it’s super yummy.

“Oh, Natsuki, yours looks really good too...”  


_Wha- are you coming onto me? Oh, no wait, the cookie. Right, yeah._  
  


“Can I try it?”

“Geez,” I say, taking another bite, “beggars can’t be choosers!”

In reality, I’d happily give her some, but I haven’t eaten anything else today. I need all of this.

Sayori’s eyes widen. “But yours is chocolate...”  
  
_Oh, now look. Who could resist a face like that?_

_Wait, no! I can! Stay strong, Natsuki!_

 

“Yeah, why’d you think I gave you that one?” I say, rolling my eyes. I mean, the real reason was because I specifically made that one for you rather than dietary preference, but I digress.

“Fine... But I’m still really happy you shared this one with me. Thank you, Natsuki!”  
Sayori jumps up and runs over, hugging me from behind. I flinch; she’s pressing into my shoulder, where I have a big bruise from last night.”  
  
“Alright, alright, I get it already!” I must sound annoyed, but I want her to stop pressing my shoulder. I raise my hand to try and nudge her off of me, but I feel her lean even closer.”  
  
“...om.”  


_Wait, did she just... She did! She took a big bite out of my cookie!_

“H-Hey! What gives?”

  
Sayori giggles, putting her hand over her mouth as she skips away. Emery and Yuri laugh alongside her.

 _I guess I’m happy that she’s happy, but I’m also kind of annoyed now. That was my cookie!_  
  
“Geez, you’re such a kid sometimes! Monika, can you tell Sayori-“

I stop mid-sentence, and look around. Monika’s nowhere to be seen.

“Wait... Where’s Monika?”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious, Housuke Odoroki is the Japanese name for Apollo Justice, another defense attorney from the Ace Attorney/Gyakuten Saiben universe. He's arguably the least popular main character, so he's a good fit for MC.
> 
> Title is a reference to the anime Demi-Chan wa Kataritai, or "Interviews with Monster girls".


	14. Around the school in 80 minutes

It’s unusual for Monika to be late to the club meeting. She’s the president after all! We can’t really have an official meeting without her. After today, I kind of need a sense of routine...

Yuri rests her hand on her chin, looking contemplatively into the distance. _Did she tell you guys anything about her being late today?_  


Sayori shakes her head, and Emery shrugs dismissively. _This is peculiar... Something’s amiss..._

“I hope she’s okay...” Sayori says, looking down at her feet. _She looks worried..._  
  
“Of course she’s okay!” I say, placing a hand on Sayori’s shoulder. “She probably just had something to do today. She’s pretty popular, after all...”  
  
I’m really not sure how I got to be friends with Monika. We’re from completely different worlds; she’s tall, popular, and beautiful, and I’m... Well, I’m not.

Sayori gasps. “Y-You don’t think she... she has a...!”  


Yuri nods knowingly. “It wouldn’t surprise me. After all, she’s probably more desirable than all of us combined.”  


“Eheh, that’s true...” Sayori laughs.

 

“Excuse me?!” I blurt out. I didn’t take offense personally, but I won’t let them disparage yourselves like that!

 

 _Come on guys! You need to give yourselves more credit!  Sayori, you’re full of rainbows and happy thoughts and fluff and stuff! You’re a delight to be around!  
_  
_And Yuri, you’re elegant, and tall, and pretty, and smart, and understanding, and you smell nice, and your hair looks so silky, and I bet you give warm hugs and...  
_  
_Huh, that went in a bit of a different direction than I was expecting. We can come back to that later._  
  
Before I can say anything, the door swings open and Monika walks in.

 

“Sorry! I’m so sorry everyone! I didn’t mean to be late, hopefully you guys weren’t too concerned...”

Sayori runs over and hugs Monika. “Guys! Monika chose the club over her boyfriend after all!”

Monika scratches her head nervously. “W-What on earth are you talking about?”

“Never mind that, where were you, anyway?” Emery forgets to read the mood, instead just questioning Monika Point blank.

“Well,” Monika says, looking a bit relieved to have that line of questioning dropped, “I guess I lost track of time. My last class was a free period, so...”

“Hold it!” I point at Monika, and she turns to me. “Wouldn’t you have heard the bell ring though?”

She grips her arm. Rubbing it slightly. “Well, I guess I didn’t hear it... I was practicing piano...”

Yuri’s eyes light up. “I didn’t know you played music as well, Monika.”  
“Ah! Well, I kind of just started recently, you know...” she chuckles.

Sayori grabs Monika’s hand and jumps up and down. “Woah! That’s so cool! You’ll have to play something for us sometime!”

Monika looks out of the window. She had a small smile across her face, but she doesn’t look happy. She looks almost... like she’s remembering something bittersweet. “Perhaps once I’ve practiced a bit more...”

Monika suddenly wheels around, immediately appearing more confident. “So! I didn’t miss anything super important, did I?”

“I guess not,” Emery shrugged, “just some wacky hijinks involving cookies. But it all worked out in the end.”  
  
Monika smiled sweetly. “Well, I’m glad everything’s okay now. That’s just kind of how the cookie crumbles, isn’t it.”  
  
A beat.

 

“Was... Was that a pun?” I raise my eyebrow at Monika.

“Ahah! Well, if manga can be literature, I think puns are literature too!” Monika laughs, pointing upwards, as if she was giving a lecture. “They involve careful word structure, and can make you think about things differently. Isn’t that what defines literature?”

 

_Touché._

 

 _Well, I guess everyone’s all accounted for._  
  
Yuri silently backed away to her desk, and is already deep into her book. Sayori wanders up to Emery, swaying playfully.

“Hey, Emery! Would you like to go get some art supplies with me from the unused classroom upstairs?”

Emery looks blankly back. “Why do you need art supplies?”  
  
Sayori grins. “Well, the festival’s coming up, so I wanted to make some posters!”  
  
“Ah, okay, that makes sense. Sure, I’ll tag along.”  
  
“Yay!” Sayori pumps her fist in the air. “Okay, Monika, we’ll be back in a little bit! We’re going on an adventure for art supplies!”

 

Monika nods contemplatively, and Sayori drags Emery out of the classroom by his hand. He looks a bit annoyed, because he’s an idiot who can’t see when someone appreciates his company.

 _I suppose that means I’ve got a bit of free time before we get into proper literature club business...  
_  
I decide to continue from where I left off in _Parfait Girls_ yesterday. I could do with reading about the happy times of Minori and her friends. Sometimes, when I get really down, I like to imagine that I’m Minori, and that the literature club members are the other Parfait girls. I dream of us all baking together, and sharing our creations.

I walk over to the cupboard and reach forward to where I left the box set yesterday, only to be thrown off my pulling out a calculus textbook.

 

“God damn it, Monika...” I say under my breath. She must’ve moved it again without telling me. I look up; on the very top shelf, out of my reach, I can barely see the corner of the bright pink box. I try to jump up and reach it, but it’s no use; it’s just too far away.

_Looks like I’ll have to get a bit creative here…_

 

In the corner of the cupboard is a collapsible stool. I pull it out and set it up, climbing on top of it. The stool squeaks a bit in protest, and rattles disconcertingly. Standing on my tiptoes, I make another attempt at the box, but it’s still just barely out of my reach. _I need something a bit taller..._

I glance over at the teacher’s desk, noticing the impressive-looking desk chair. It stands higher than the stool. _I wonder..._

 

I hop down from the stool, and wheel the chair over in its place. I gingerly step onto it, and it wobbles a little. I need to be careful; a sudden movement in the wrong direction could be really bad.

 

Carefully balancing, I inch forward to the box set. I feel a great sense of triumph as my fingers brush against the corner of the box, allowing me to gently inch it towards me and off of the shelf.

After some delicate maneuvering, I manage to guide the box off of the shelf, allowing it fall into my arms. However, the sudden force of the book throws my balance off a little. The chair starts to roll worryingly.

 _Oh no, this isn’t good!_  
  
I try to shift my weight along with the chair to correct its balance, but it’s no use. The chair skates out from under me, throwing my backwards with the box set. The books all fly out, hitting the ground one by one, followed by me landing with a **THUD**.


	15. Smoothing the creases of heartache

_Owwwww..._  
  
I landed right on my bag, winding me. I’d be worried about the impact leaving a mark, but I already have a big bruise there. I suppose at least now I have something to explain it away in case anyone saw.

“My goodness! Are you okay?” I hear someone run over.

“What’s going on over here?” Someone else takes comparatively calmer steps over.

I open my eyes, looking up at Yuri and Monika.  
  
“Monika! See what happens when you move my manga? Are you trying to kill your club members?!” I huff in annoyance. This wouldn’t have happened if she’d just left it alone!

Monika laughs, waving her hand in my general direction. “Haha, sorry! I didn’t think it’d be too big of a deal!”

She smiles, before turning away. Yuri stays, her concern evident in her eyes. I look around, to try and get my bearings. Looks like all of the books-

“Oh no!”  
  
I whimper, shuffling over to one of the books. As they fell, one of them must have opened up as it hit the ground, as there’s now a large crease across the page, warping Minori’s Cheerful smile into a sad frown.

_No, no, no, no, no, I can fix this, I can fix this, I can fix this..._

  
I flip the page back and forth, feverishly trying to smooth out the crease with the side of my palm, but it’s no good; the book is scarred.

In frustration, I forcefully slam it shut and throw it in front of me. Yuri jumps a bit in surprise.

I cough a little. _Oh no, not now!_

  
I feel my lip quivering and my breath becoming shallow. I can’t stop it this time. I turn to the wall, and lower my head in an attempt to stop myself, but it’s no good. Soft tears start to escape from me, delicately falling to the ground in front of me.

I hear Yuri take a tentative step towards me. “Natsuki,,,? Are you-“  
“N-No!” I try to yell, but it comes out as a broken yelp. I can feel my chest heaving as I try to hold back the sobs, but it’s becoming too difficult.

“Would you like some help? I think with some steam from the kettle...” Yuri starts, but I shake my head.

“N-No... I don’t even care that much...”  
I sniffle. “I’m just... I’m just having a r-really bad day today...”

Suddenly, Yuri kneels down, and I feel her hug me, placing her hand gently behind my head. I reflexively lean in, now completely unable to hold back.  I start crying into her.

“Shh now... I-It’s okay, It’s okay...” she says softly, stroking my hair gently. I haven’t cried in front of anyone for a long time, and all of that tension is coming out now.

“Is there anything you need to get off of your chest?”  
  
I shake my head again. “N-No... just... Every day...” I tighten my hand into a fist, “Every day is just... so hard... I just want... to come to the club every day and...”

I try to speak more, but I can’t make any words form no matter how hard I try. All I can do is sob more.

Yuri sighs. “Those books... They really are important to you, huh?”

I nod.

“Would you, Um, would you like a hand in getting everything all tidied up?”  
I rub my eyes, and back up a little. “You’re really nice to me... even after I was so mean to you...”  
Yuri lets a small smile play across her face. “Don’t worry about that. Let’s just get all of this together, okay?”

“O-Okay...”

Soon, all of the books are back in the box in their correct order. Yuri hoists the box up and places it on a shelf in the middle of the cupboard, and I stand up, wiping a tear from my eye with my finger. She’s about to step back, but then she hesitates. She reaches into the box, pulling out the first volume of _Parfait girls._

“I-I know you don’t think I’d appreciate this sort of thing, but...” she turns around, handing me the book, “If it would cheer you up... do you think you could tell me what makes this special to you?”

I quickly look up at her, and she suddenly becomes flustered. “I-I didn’t mean to push you or anything! I just meant...”  
  
I manage to laugh, and sit down along the wall by the cupboard, patting the ground next to me. Yuri strides over, and slides down next to me. “Okay, so this is Minori and her friends Alice and Hanako...”

Before long, I’m enthusiastically showing Yuri the manga, pointing out all of the subtle background references and explaining the plot points. Soon enough, Yuri manages to point out certain things as well; I’m impressed with how quickly she seems to get accustomed to it.

“I grew up, dreaming I could be like Minori,” I say, lifting my head up. “She may be a bit of a klutz, but she cares about her friends, and her friends care about her. That’s all I’ve really ever wanted...”

“Is that why you joined the literature club?” Yuri asks.

I give a half-hearted chuckle. “Is that pathetic of me? I hoped I could maybe find my own group of friends like that. Maybe I could find someone like me. And there’s not many people in here... I don’t have to worry about hiding those parts of me around a ton of people. It feels... safe here.”

Yuri tilts her head in response. “Safe?”

 _Urk. Perhaps that wasn’t the best word choice. I don’t want her getting suspicious._  
  


“N-Not that I’m in danger or anything! So don’t think that!” I stammer defensively. “It’s just... I-It’s nice to have a quiet place every now and then, y’know?”  
  
Yuri nods in agreement. “I understand what you mean. I have a hard time reaching out to others, but here, things seem to fall into place.”

 She sighs, turning back to the book. “Hey, um...” she fidgets with her hair clip, “would it be okay if... if maybe I borrowed this?”

“Huh?” I raise my eyebrow at her. _Who are you and what did you do with Yuri?_

My disbelief must be obvious, as she suddenly gets defensive. “I-I mean! Ummm... I want to understand it a bit better... I want to compare it to some of my books.”  
  
“Is that so?” I fold my arms, allowing myself to smirk.

“Y-yes, I think it would help in discussing literature in the future...”

I know how awkward Yuri can get, so that must’ve been hard for her to ask. _I can’t really say no, can I?_

I extend the volume towards her. “Well, okay... just be careful with it, alright?”

She gives me a soft smile. “Of course... thank you...”  


“Okay, everyone!” I hear Monika call from the other side of the room. Looking around, I see that Emery and Sayori had returned sometime in the interim, but I guess I wasn’t paying attention. “It’s time to share poems!”

I stand up, and walk over to my desk, opening up my bag.

_I hope they like this poem more than that jerk from earlier..._


	16. Echo

“Hey, Natsuki!” Sayori skips over to me, waving her poem around excitedly.  


“Hey Sayo-WOAH!” Sayori’s got a huge bump on her head!

“Who did this to you? What happened? Are you okay? Where do we have to-“

  
“Haha, It’s fine,” Sayori giggles, “I was just with Emery, and-“  
  
“Emery?!” I immediately tense up, glaring over at him.I knew it.  I knew we couldn’t trust that dense load of-

“No, no! I hit my head, and Emery helped me!”  
  
“O-Oh. I see...” I say, relaxing my shoulders a little. “W-Well, are you sure you’re okay?”  
  
“Yeah, it just stings a little. But thanks for looking out for me!” She clasps her hands together, bowing slightly. “You’re a real sweetie when you want to be!”  
  
I look away, feeling awkward. “H-Hey! Don’t make it weird! I just have to check on everyone, y’know?”

“...You’re silly sometimes, Natsuki!” Sayori laughs. I was about to retort, but I decided against it. “Anyways, you wanna take a look at my poem?”

“Oh, right! Yeah, let’s see what we’ve got here...” I say, taking the paper from Sayori. She presses her fingers together, looking at me expectantly. _”Bottles”, huh?_

 

...

 

_W-Wow... This is phenomenal. The imagery is strong, her word choice is fantastic, her structure is powerful... But it’s so different from what I’d expect Sayori to write._

 

“Hey, you awake over there?” Sayori asks playfully. I snap out of my train of thought. I was so caught up in the poem that I forgot to stop reading it.  
  
“H-Hey, Sayori?”  
  
“What’s up, friend?”  
  
_How do I say this?_ “This is... well, I don’t know. But It’s really good. Did you actually write this?”

Sayori pouts. “Meanie! Of course I wrote it!”  
  
“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! I meant, like, it’s good but... it’s pretty dark. I would’ve expected something like this from Yuri, but not you…” I clear my throat, and force myself to confront the issue. “Are you doing alright?”

Sayori waves my question away, laughing “You’re so funny, Natsuki! Of course I’m happy!” _Hmm, that wasn’t what I asked..._

  
I rub my arm. I feel a bit out-of-place now. “Well, hey, I know you said to come to you if I was having a bad day, but, y’know...”  


“What is it?” Sayori smiles innocently back at me.

 

“Agh, don’t look at me like that!” I scrunch my eyes shut, and turn off to the side. “I-I just meant, like, I want to help you out too if you’re ever upset!”  
  
Sayori pauses for a moment. For a split second, I see something flicker behind her eyes, but then it’s replaced by her ever-present sunshine.

“Thanks Natsuki. But I’m fine, see?” She pulls a silly face, making me laugh. “Now, can I see what you wrote?”

“H-Huh? Oh, right,” I hand over my poem along with hers. “You’re probably not gonna like it though...”

I don’t think she heard me, as she looks like she’s concentrating intently on the paper. _Just what is bouncing around in your head, Sayori...?_  
  
“Woah! This is so cool, Natsuki!” Sayori raises my poem up high. “It’s playful, but serious too! I feel it hitting me right in the tummy, like a penguin!”  
  
_Like a... huh?_  
  
Peculiar simile aside, I’m glad she liked it. I can’t help but smile back.

“Come on, you’re just saying that to make me feel better!”

Sayori shakes her head back and forth way too enthusiastically, making her dizzy. She stumbles a little, but then immediately regains her footing. “Nuh-uh! It’s really, really good!”  
  
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head too hard?”  


“Ahhh! Emeryyyy! Tell Natsuki to stop being mean to meeee!” She calls out.

 

“Hey, relax, I was only messing around!” I flash her a grin, and she returns it.

 

“Thank you for sharing with me!” Sayori waves, and bounces away. _She looks so happy, but something feels a bit off... Am I overthinking this?_

 

As if on cue, captain oblivious shows up behind me, catching me off guard. He’s holding his poem ever so loosely between his thumb and forefinger.  


“What’s going on now?” He says. He sounds a little fed-up.

“I-It’s not what it sounds like! I was just getting her back for stealing my cookie earlier!”

  
This was a lie; I couldn’t bring myself to try and get “revenge” or anything like that. Naturally, he completely misses the point.

“Just be careful, yeah? She’s sensitive...” He sighs, staring me down. _Urk._  
  
I gulp. “A-Alright, geez! What did you come over here for, anyway?”

He holds the paper up. “We’re supposed to share poems, remember?”  


“Fine...” I say, taking it quickly. That put me on edge a bit.

His poem is... well, it’s a poem... I think?

 

**Amazing**

  
_Bed,_  
Joy,  
Charm,  
Cheer,  
Clumsy,  
Empty,  
Shame,  
Sing,  
Smile,  
Promise,  
Misfortune,  
Memories.

 

I look blankly back at him. “Well, it’s not really any worse than your last one, but it’s not exactly better either.”  


_He looks... relieved?_ “Anything that isn’t a train wreck, I’ll take as a win, and I get the feeling you’re probably the most critical person here.”

 

 _Do you want to go right now?_  
  
_I am not super critical! I just have high standards! You can’t expect me to look at Dustdas and tell you it’s Sirnight! That’s a load of-_  
  
_Damn, at this rate I’m going to prove him right! How can I turn this around?_  
  
“A-Ahaha! It’s good to see that _someone_ recognizes my experience!”

I scoff, nodding at him. “Keep it up, and someday maybe you’ll be as good as me!”

I look over the list of words again, as he just stands there scratching his head.

_There’s something about this though that reminds me of Sayori..._

“You’re pretty tight with Sayori, aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d be her type.”

  
Emery gulps. “She has a ‘type’ all of a sudden?”

 

“Th-That’s not what I meant!” I say, exasperatedly, “I just meant, how can someone so... er, so fluffy spend so much time with... someone like _you_? It’s like she’s dragging around a dead weight.”

 _That was a bit over the top, but I’m honestly not sure if I care. This guy’s a dolt!_  
  
“Well, think about it like this: If I weren’t around, she’d probably just drift away like a balloon. I guess in a way, we take care of eachother.”  
  
_huh... that was surprisingly insightful for someone whose brain is probably jealous of the amount of ridges on a snooker ball._

“Whatever it is, I don’t get it...” I wonder out loud.

 

A beat.

 

“Oh, right, I’m supposed to give you my poem now.” I realize, handing my paper over to him. He holds it low down, scanning it slowly with his eyes. I patiently wait until he raises his head, signaling he’s finished.

“Not too bad, right?

He furrows his brow. “It’s certainly longer than yesterday’s...”  
  
_Was that all you took away from it?_  
  
“Yesterday’s was way too short, I was just warming up!” I place my hands on my hips in an attempt to look like I can take on the world.

“I hope you didn’t think that was the best I could do!” I say, looking straight into his eyes.

“Anyway,” I say, relaxing my expression, “I think the message is pretty clear.”  
  
_At least, I think it is. Substitute “Amy” with “Natsuki” and “Spiders” with “Manga..._

“I doubt I have to explain it.” I say, although I’m not so sure that’s true. I decide it’s best to try and elaborate on that a bit.

“Sometimes, you can explain complicated issues with much simpler analogies, and it helps people realize how stupid they’re being.” _Like you_. He has a vacant expression on his face, so I feel like I have to keep going.  
  
“Anyone would agree that the subject of this poem is an ignorant jerk...”  
  
“Do you know people like that?” He asks, looking at me.

_Oh, boy, that’s the understatement of the century._

  
“Of course, it’s about how everyone thinks my-“ I manage to catch myself before totally giving it away. I fold my arms, rattled by the sudden tonal shift I have to make. “N-Never mind! It can be about anything!”

“I wrote it to be relatable. Everyone has their own spiders, right? A kind of weird hobby? Something you’re worried people would judge you for if they knew?”

  
He nods. _That’s right, he reads manga as well, doesn’t he? And the other day, he was worried what Monika would think if she knew he liked Anime..._

“But you know what? That just makes people stupid! Who cares, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone? I think people need to learn to respect the interests of others, even if they’re not the most mainstream things...”  
  
_Okay, dial it back a bit, Natsuki, delving into personal territory a bit too much here._

Emery chuckles. “Well, I think that’s right. At least, I can relate to that. And I’m sure a lot of other people can as well.”

“That’s what I do best! I don’t like writing unless there’s a good message to take away from it.

I hold my clenched fist close to my heart, my eyes closed. “Emotions are important, but I want to make people think, not just feel.”

 _I’m proud of that. It actually sounded pretty cool._  
  
“So remember that!” I say, pointing forward at him. “Tomorrow’s poem is going to be amazing as well!”  
  
“Whatever you say, Natsuki...” he responds, dismissively. Handing back my poem, he heads towards Yuri.

 

Soon enough, everyone’s finished sharing, and Monika strolls towards the front of the class.  
  
“Okay, everyone!” She exclaims proudly. “I have a little something extra planned for today, so if you’d like to please come to the front here with me...”  
She gestures at the desks directly in front of her. Begrudgingly, I get up and drop down into the closest acceptable desk.

_I wonder what she’s referring to... Is it related to the Festival?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dustdas" and "Sirnight" are the Japanese names for the pokemon Garbodor and Gardevoir respectively, in case you didn't get the reference.


	17. Shining stage!! We have to share poems?!

Monika looks pretty pleased with herself. I think I know what she’s going to suggest.

“As you all know, the school festival’s coming up next week, so-“  
“Do we really have to prepare something?” I interrupt her, causing her to look at me inquisitively, “It’s not like we can put together something good in time for it...”  


This pessimism isn’t healthy but... I don’t want things to change... we’ve got a pretty good thing going right now, why can’t we just keep that?  
  
“I’m concerned about that too,” Yuri chimes in, “I don’t do well with last-minute preparations at all...”  


Monika tries to give a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, we’re going to keep things simple, okay? Sayori’s been working on some posters, I don’t think we’ll need much more than that.”  
“Meanwhile,” Monika says, opening up her bag, “I’ve designed some brochures that we can hand out to people during the event.”  
  
_The “event”? I don’t like where this is going..._

I raise my hand. “I mean, that’s cool, but that doesn’t tell us what we’re doing for the festival.”

Monika looks surprised, putting a hand over her mouth. “Oh, sorry! I thought you’d heard about it already...”  
  
_Oh, now I definitely don’t like where this is going..._  
  
Monika grins, holding her arms out wide. “We’re going to be performing! Each of us will choose a poem, and recite it to everyone on stage! But also, we’ll let anyone else come up and recite if they want to! Sayori’s been putting it on all of our posters in case anyone wants to plan ahead.”

  
Monika points to Sayori, who’s been diligently colouring a poster with crayons. She holds it up, evidently proud of her work. It’s very bright, with orange and yellow spirals.

Yuri looks petrified. “P-P-Performing?” She stutters, gripping her forearm tightly in sync with her breathing.

I’m similarly displeased.

“Are you kidding me, Monika? You haven’t... put these posters up yet, right?”

Monika looks a bit deflated. “Well, yeah, I have... do you really not like that idea?”

“Well, that’s not it... It’s just, I didn’t sign up for this! I can’t perform in front of people like that!”

“I agree!” Yuri says with conviction. “I couldn’t ever... do anything like that...” She places her hand on her forehead, still gripping her forearm.

  
_Yeah! Tell her, Yuri! Although take a breath, I don’t like seeing you upset…_  
  


“Wait a minute...” Sayori looks at me, then at Monika, then at Yuri, then back at me. For the first time ever, I think I actually see sadness in her eyes. I feel a shiver run along my back. _That’s not right._

Monika sighs. “No, it’s okay Sayori. Remember, they’ve never shared their poems until earlier this week, it’s probably way too much to ask them to perform in front of a big group so soon. So, my apologies.”

I shrink into my chair a little. I feel kind of bad for disappointing Monika like that, but she should’ve known we wouldn’t like that sort of thing!  
“However,” She says, standing upright, “I still think we can do this! If we do our best, then it will inspire everyone else to do the same!”  
“And the more people who perform,” She looks directly at me as she says this, “The better chances we have of showing everyone what literature’s all about!”

“Yeah!” Sayori cheers, “It’s about expressing yourself, and learning more about who are, getting to know yourself on a deep personal level... and also, it’s about having fun!”

“Thank you, Sayori!” Monika smiles at Sayori, then turns back to me. “Surely you want to share that with others? Don’t you want to inspire them as well?”

I shuffle even lower into my chair, crossing my arms defensively. I really feel backed against a wall here, give me some space Monika!  
  
“I know you do. I know we all do. And if all it takes is standing in front of a room for two minutes and reciting a poem, then I know you’re capable of that!”

I glance over at Yuri, who meets my gaze. The two of us are trying frantically to communicate with each other with just our eyes. I try darting my eyes over at Monika and nodding slightly. Yuri’s eyes widen in fear, returning my nods. I can feel myself tensing up; it’s clear that neither of us wants to do this, but we’re also in the minority. Despite this, we can’t stop exchanging glances, trying to get the other person to speak up for the both of us.  
  
This continues for a short while.

Eventually, Emery decides to speak up. “You know what guys? I agree with Monika.”  
  
_oh, you would._   
  
“I don’t think it’s too much to ask, you know? Monika and Sayori have been trying their best to get new members for the club. The least we can do is help them out a bit.”  
  
_Damn, that’s... I hate to say it, but it’s a fair point._  
  
“Well, yeah, but...” I start, but quickly run out of words. As much as I want to protest this, I don’t have any good arguments.

_Help me Yuri! Use your big words, they’re big enough for the both of us!_

It’s no good. Yuri retreats into her hair, allowing it to fully cover her face.

“Okay, fine! I guess I’ll just have to get it over with...”  
  
“Thanks, Natsuki.” Monika sighs in relief. “How about you, Yuri?”

Yuri peeks through her purple shroud, allowing just her eyes to be seen.

“I-I guess I really don’t have a choice...”

Sayori jumps up and down. “Yay, that’s everyone! You’re the best, Yuri!”

Yuri doesn’t seem so sure. “This club is seriously going to be the death of me...”

_Wow, if this were some kind of horror game, that’s the kind of line that you’d think would foreshadow some tragic plot development._

Monika laughs nervously. “Well, let’s move on to the main event for today: I want you all to choose one of your poems, and we can practice reciting them in front of each other, right now!”  
  
“O-Objection!” I stand up, knocking my book off of the desk, pointing at Monika dramatically. Don’t make me do this now! I really don’t want to do this, at least give me time to prepare!

Yuri starts shaking. “Th-This is too sudden, Monika!”

I want to run over and tell her it’s going to be okay, but I can’t say for certain it will be.

Monika places a hand on her hip, smiling at Yuri. “If you can’t recite your poem here, how will you do it in front of strangers?”

That just seemed to make her feel worse. She dives back into her hair, making a tiny squeaking noise.

“Eheh... well, why don’t I start off? It’ll help you all feel a bit more comfortable.”

_That’s easy for you to say! You’re a natural at social interaction! You’re like, going through this on easy mode!_

_  
Nobody takes me seriously, and Yuri’s deathly afraid of people. You’re setting us up to fail, Monika!_

 

I want to scream. _I’m going to have to pick a poem, aren’t I?_


	18. The main event!

Monika flips open a small black notebook, looking for the perfect poem. She methodically runs her finger down each page before quickly turning it over, until she stops suddenly. Book in hand, she walks over to a podium at the very front of the class. She clears her throat, and takes a slight bow.

“This one is called:  
  
**The way they fly**

_Every evening, I look out upwards,_

_Trying to see them, hoping_

_That they will one day be able to_

_Return my wanting gaze._

_Rattling lines of cold numbers_

_Whirl around like determined crows,_

_Hungry for answers,_

_Desperate for purpose._

_Crackling ice, ruptured roaring,_

_Glimmering thoughts, freely soaring,_

_Flashing viridian in my eyes,_

_Hoping to see the way they fly._

 

It’s obvious that she’s been looking forward to this; She gestures emphatically along with the rhythm of the poem, annunciating each syllable with such power that I can feel it rattling my bones. I can’t take my eyes off of her; She’s really good at this. If she really wanted to, she could carry the whole recitation by herself.

Once she’s finished, I feel myself applauding without even thinking. _I wish I could be that confident..._

  
Monika curtsies, then looks over to Sayori. “Are you ready to go now?”

  
However, as Sayori is getting out of her seat, Yuri shoots upright. “I-I’ll go next!”

Sayori looks shocked. To be honest, I am as well. We all watch as Yuri quickly walks over to the podium, her head down.

“R-Right, um, this poem is called-“  
  
Yuri lifts her head up, looking at each of us. She tenses up, suddenly realized what she’d gotten herself into. Sayori must have noticed, because she calls out to her.

“You can do it, Yuri!”

_Yeah, we believe in you!_

  
“Yes... It’s called...  
  
**Afterimage of a Crimson Eye**

 

_Shifting shadows, lingering thoughts,_

_Pleas from silent eyes distraught,_

_Hollow, sharp breaths give way_

_To corrupted chaos and disarray,_

_Pounding heads, daunting dread,_

_Primal fear of nightmares fed,_

_Ever so quiet but ever so loud,_

_Echoing snarls, cruel and proud,_

_Sanguine drops dot the floors,_

_Like stepping stones for remorse,_

_Howling beacons burn their souls,_

_Feverishly trying to regain control,_

_Hazy memories mixed with madness,_

_Fractured cries, distorted sadness,_

_Cataclysm calls for final measures,_

_Seeking out bleeding treasures,_

_Kindness lost in murky mist,_

_Ticking trials from terrified lists,_

_Blazing pain, begging to die,_

_When they see the crimson eye._

 

 

  
  
I can hear the nervousness in her voice as she begins reading. She’s putting all of her energy into trying to get past the first stanza. It’s quite admirable; she knows this is way out of her comfort zone, but she’s still following through with it. I wonder what convinced her?

After the first verse, she sounds completely different. She’s in her element; carefully picked words dice through the air like slender knives. Whereas before she could barely get going, she’s navigating the complex structure of her piece with amazing ease and grace.

I gulp. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of her before…

As the last words escape her lips, she takes a few calm breaths, then opens her eyes. It takes her a moment to realize what’s just happened. She looks like a raccoon caught in the middle of its midnight escapades.

All of us are absolutely floored. She’s usually so timid; seeing her so confident in herself was truly remarkable.

_You’re incredible, Yuri! I didn’t know you had it in you!_

  
She looks so worried. _This looks like a job for-_

I wanted to lead the applause, but Emery beats me to it, with the others following.

_Seriously guy, can’t I have one?_

Yuri clutches her poem close to her heart, and quickly runs off, sitting in the back of the room, burying her head in her arms. It must’ve taken a lot out of her to push herself that far; I’m genuinely impressed.

“Okay, It’s my turn then!” Sayori says, skipping towards the podium.  


“This one’s called, um...” Sayori looks around at us, and starts giggling.

“Sorry, It’s kinda funny...”

  
Emery doesn’t share her humour, looking at her disapprovingly. Monika just smiles plainly at her, whilst Yuri still can’t face the world.

 

“Hey, It’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be, okay? How did you all do it so easily?”

 _Well, Monika’s just amazing at everything, and Yuri... Actually, I don’t know how Yuri managed it. But she did, so you can too!_  
  
“Try not to think of it like you’re reciting to other people,” Monika says, “imagine you’re just reciting it to yourself.”

 

“Okay then...” Sayori closes her eyes. “This one’s called:

 

**My Meadow**

_Sometimes, I get distracted_

_By wandering rivers held up high,_

_Behind my eyes, like plays enacted,_

_Pebbles tumble like butterflies,_

_Be my meadow, guide my hand,_

_Help me get back to the ground,_

_Let me feel the silky sand_

_That your approval brings around,_

_Can you see through my façade?  
Hopeful lies and careful smiles_

_Try to sweep up all the shards_

_Left by broken mosaic tiles,_

_Be my meadow, guide my hand,_

_Help me get back to the ground,_

_Let me feel the silky sand_

_That your approval brings around,_

_If I don’t know what to do,_

_Will you wake me up tomorrow?_

_Tell me that this dream is true,_

_Won’t you save me from this sorrow?_

_Be my meadow, guide my hand,_

_Help me get back to the ground,_

_Let me feel the silky sand_

_That your approval brings around._

 

Just like _Bottles_ , there’s something different about this piece. Whilst Sayori’s voice still makes it sound like hot fudge being drizzled over a sundae, It’s composed and... well, _real_. It feels weird to hear such stinging words and pain coming from such a sunny person, read in such a fluffy voice. There’s something more to her than meets the eye; whether that’s good or bad is still to be seen.

As she finishes, she opens her eyes, and claps, giving us our cue to applaud. “I did it, you guys!”

“Good job, Sayori.” Emery says blankly.

“Eheh, look, even Emery enjoyed it!” She gives Emery a wide grin, but he doesn’t return it.

“What are you talking about...?”

This guy never ceases to disappoint me. The signs are all here, but he just keeps driving along the highway and pointing out the guard rails.

“I think it went very well, Sayori!” Monika saves the day, changing the subject, “It really suits you!”

Sayori takes the compliment before returning to her seat. Monika surveys the room; There’s just two of us left...

“So, who wants to go next? Natsuki?”  
  
Trouble. I still really don’t want to go. They’re going to see me up there and just think I’m some kid who doesn’t know what she’s doing. I don’t want to be humiliated like that! _You’re all so amazingly talented, what makes you think I’ll enjoy this?_

“Don’t make me go before Emery,” I say, jerking my thumb in his direction. “It’s not like I can compare to you guys, so... at least let him lower the bar for you all...”

Sayori looks like she wants to say something, but Emery waves it away. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I don’t really have much to go off of, so I guess I’ll just read what I brought for today:”

 

**Amazing**

  
_Bed,_  
Joy,  
Charm,  
Cheer,  
Clumsy,  
Empty,  
Shame,  
Sing,  
Smile,  
Promise,  
Misfortune,  
Memories.

 

His delivery is… dull, to say the least. I know this is, what, his second poem? But still, you said earlier you wanted this! Can’t you at least try a _little_?

Soon enough, he’s done, and slumps back into his seat. After applauding, everyone turns to me.

“Alright, I’m doing it!”

I grab my book and stand up, making my... making my way to...

_Oh... I don’t feel well..._

_Everything’s spinning... I don’t think I can do this..._

_No! I have to! I have to show everyone I’m just as good as them, even if I don’t believe it!_  
  
I make my way slowly over to the podium, dragging my footsteps. My eyelids are so heavy, and my knees feel so weak, like candy floss. After what feels like ten years, I finally reach the podium. I flop open my notebook; I know exactly what I want to read.

“This poem is called... um... It’s called...”  
Everyone is staring right at me, burning through my heart. I can’t focus with all of these eyes on me. I feel my head spin, like a Ferris wheel going backwards.

“W-Why are you all looking at me?!”

Monika lets a pity laugh escape her. “Because you’re presenting...”

 _Where’s my encouragement? Didn’t Yuri and Sayori get some kind words? Even brickhead over here had something good to go off of._  
  
I can feel my heart beating in my ears. I don’t like this... why are they all picking on me like this? _I just want to go away and hide..._

  
I shake my head, looking at everyone again; Monika is still looking expectantly at me, and Sayori looks like she’s seeing a kitten have its food taken away from it. Emery is folding his arms, already looking impatient, and Yuri...

Yuri is politely sitting upright in her desk, her head tilted slightly to the side. She’s clasping her hands together in front of her, rhythmically squeezing them together. She notices me looking at her, and she gasps, gives me an encouraging smile, and then shyly looks away.

 _Okay... I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..._  
  


“This poem is called:  
  
**Jump**

_Little robins like to hop_

_From bright branches with a dainty Plop!_

_Standing on the grey rooftop,_

_Will this make the fears stop?_

_As I untie my blank shoelace,_

_An empty smile across my face,_

_A blustery breeze tries to trace_

_All the sadness in this place,_

_Purple clouds like to form_

_In the absence of hugs that warm,_

_Please help me escape this storm,_

_Is this really my destined norm?_

_Fluffy tears float with care_

_Through the thick, amber air,_

_The sun meets my sightless stare,_

_And then I jump._

 

I take a deep breath, and begin reading. I’m feel like I’m floating, as if I fell down but gravity’s taking the day off. This isn’t the happiest poem, and it’s definitely not like the ones I’ve shared with the others so far, but it just feels right to read this one. It came from a bit of a dark place, but I feel like I have to embrace that side of myself, or else everyone will just see me as a little kid who tries too hard to be cutesy to compensate for-

I,,, I don’t want to think about that. I just want to read my poem.

As I finish, I see Yuri stand up to applaud, and the others soon join her. _I... I did it._  
Still feeling dizzy, I trudge back to my seat, practically falling into my chair.

“There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Monika says, almost mockingly.

 _Oh, give me a break Monika! You don’t know what it’s like!_  
  
“That’s easy for you to say... you’d better not make me do that again...”

“Ah... well, do you at least feel comfortable with the idea of sharing it in front of other people?”  


“Oh, I mean, for random people it’ll be fine. After all, for other people, I can put whatever face I want on. But in front of my friends... It’s just... embarrassing…”

I don’t want to admit it in front of them, but I’m so scared of losing them... that was so draining...

“Huh, I’d thought it would’ve been the other way round!” Sayori ponders, scratching her chin.

“Well,” Monika stands up, walking over to the podium again, “I’m just thankful we all pulled through. Just make sure you pick a poem and you practice enough for the festival, okay?”

My vision’s fading in and out... It was so taxing to do it in front of you all, but I’ll do my best.

“I think we can all end on a good note then! Although we’ve got the festival coming up, still try and bring a new poem for tomorrow, okay?”

As I unzip my bag to put my book away, I see Sayori drift over to Emery “Ready to walk home?”

I can’t help but smile. She’s so innocent. I swallow, forcing myself to appear presentable.

“Look at you two, always going home together!”  
Monika looks over, smiling. “It’s kind of adorable, isn’t it?”  
Sayori laughs shyly, blushing slightly. Emery however, as usual, completely doesn’t read the room.

“Geez guys, you’re making this out to be a way bigger deal than it actually is...”  
“It must be a little nice though...” Yuri joins in, looking at the pair wistfully.

_Do you get lonely walking home, Yuri? I wouldn’t mind some company. Hell, if it meant I didn’t have to face Him, I’d walk through fire._

“It’s okay Emery, you don’t have to say it,” Sayori giggles, “let’s just head home.”

And with that, the two are off.

_I don’t really want to go home yet..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is the longest chapter yet, and probably one of the most fun to write! I decided to compose brand new poems for each character since we don’t get to see them in the regular game. I guess I can try to describe my process for each of them here.
> 
>  
> 
> Monika/The way they Fly This one was the first of the bunch. I wanted to try and make subtle references to her seeing the player, but I also deliberately made it different in form than the others. For example, The second stanza has remnants of reddit formatting (Looks like Monika forgot to double check!), it is the only poem with less than four stanzas, and it is the only poem that doesn’t have a consistent rhyming pattern throughout.
> 
>  
> 
> Yuri/Afterimage of a crimson eye I had fun with this one! My degree is in Writing and English Literature, so I have a pretty colourful vocabulary. Writing in Yuri’s style gave me a chance to search my brain for all kinds of fun words. I was also inspired by /u/twixsterthetrickster 's Project Libitina series, specifically scenes where Yuri flits back and forth between her alter-ego persona. Definitely check it out, it’s a gripping read!
> 
>  
> 
> Sayori/My Meadow
> 
> I’m pleasantly surprised with how this one turned out. I used an alternating ABAB rhyming pattern along with repeated stanzas to give it a sort of nostalgic, dreamy feeling. The message I tried to convey was that MC/Emery in my story is her “Meadow”, and is what keeps her going. Since in my story, MC is following her route, I wanted her to write about how she’s happy he appreciates her, but is still worried she’s not good enough for him (Which, she definitely is. MC is just a dumbhead).
> 
>  
> 
> MC/Amazing
> 
> Not much to say here, it’s simply a short list of words that all appeal to Sayori in the poem writing minigame. I wanted a mixture of happy and sad words, although I’m not sure he realizes why they appeal to Sayori.
> 
>  
> 
> Natsuki/Jump
> 
> I was originally going to use a poem that I had written previously titled “Shoestrings”, since the implied message is very similar to what I had in mind, but Instead I wrote a whole new poem with the same theme, just in Natsuki’s style. Hopefully the emotion behind the piece is still present.


	19. For Real

A lot has happened today, leaving me totally exhausted. I lazily look around the classroom. _Looks like everyone else has left...  
_ I try to stand up, but I’m way too tired. My eyelids feel like maple syrup, closing so slowly and feeling so heavy. _I don’t there’s any harm in having a little nap..._

I take another look around, to confirm that I’m alone, and take off my blazer. I roll it up to form a little pillow, and I fluff it up slightly. Using the last of my energy, I clumsily unzip my bag and pull out Teacup, placing him on the desk in front of me. Satisfied with my makeshift sleep zone, I rest my head on my blazer, wrapping my arms arounddddd...

 

...

 

I don’t think I slept too long, since it’s still somewhat light outside. I stretch my arms out, yawning, and feel something loose and billowy fall to the ground. I turn around to see a thin, green blanket. _Where’d this come from?_

I’m still alone. Did someone come into the room?

_Whatever, I guess they didn’t do anything too bad…_

  
I fold up the blanket and leave it on the desk. Scooping up my stuff, I leave the classroom. Taking a nap was a good idea though; I already feel much better, as if I could take on the world! Or at the very least like I can walk home.

The hallway’s peaceful now; it’s nice when there’s no one else around to worry about. It’s a rare treat, so I take my time leaving the school. I slowly descend the staircases, one careful step at a time. _I wish my life could be like an anime. I wouldn’t have to worry about grades, or Him, and anime food always looks so good!_

Just as I’m about to turn the corner, something breaks the silence. It sounds like... music? Is someone playing music?

My curiosity gets the better of me, and I carefully walk in the direction of the noise. If this is like any of the RPGs I’ve played in the past, there’ll be a super rare item or quest at the end of the trail. Eventually, I reach the source of the noise, hearing it leak through a crack in the door...

 _This melody... it’s beautiful..._  
  


I look through the crack in the door, and see Monika sitting at a large piano, gently pressing the keys with absolute attention. She has her head hung low, with her eyes closed in intense concentration. As she continues to play, a tiny tear rolls down her cheek, landing softly on the piano.

As she finishes, I begin applauding without thinking. I quickly realize my mistake, but it’s too late; Monika jerks upright in surprise, looking around.

“I-Is someone there?” she asks. She sounds much less confident than is normal for her.

 _Well, I made my bed, I have to lie in it now too._  
  
I gently open the door, and step inside the room. It feels pretty peculiar on the inside; a single table in the very centre, with a laptop carefully resting on top. Monika looks confused, sitting behind the piano in the corner of the room.

“S-Sorry,” I say sheepishly, “I just heard you playing and, uhh... You’re not bad, I guess...”

“Natsuki? I wouldn’t have expected you to still be here after you woke up...”  
  
I pause. _Wait, so, the blanket... did she...?_

She wears a sad smile, turning back to the piano. “Do you mind if I keep playing? I want to make sure I’m good enough for-“ She cuts herself off, as if she realized she was saying too much. “well, I just need to practice. Is that okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah that’s fine.” I respond.

Monika picks up immediately where she left off, the dulcet tones of the piano floating in the air like the sweet scent of apples.

“Hey, Monika?” I ask, reclining against the door.

“Hm?” She doesn’t look over at me, simply resuming her music.

“What’s on your mind?”  
  
She suddenly opens her eyes, forcing out a short laugh. “Eh?”  


I rub the back of my head, feeling a bit awkward. “I mean, I just... I don’t think I’ve seen you be anything but confident, so to see you...”  
I have to choose my words carefully. I don’t want to make her mad by overthinking things.

“...so vulnerable... it feels a bit weird.”

  
Monika tilts her head upward, still playing. “Have you ever wanted something so much, so strongly, and it’s within your grasp, you can see it, you can almost touch it, but it’s just ever so slightly out of your reach?”

I nod. I know this feeling all too well.

Monika turns over to me, smiling. “You’re very brave, Natsuki. You know that?”

“E-Eh?” The sudden tonal shift catches me off guard. “What makes you say that?”  


Another tear drops from her eyes. “Heh, I guess I’ve just been thinking about things. I’m glad you were able to perform in front of everyone today. I know it must’ve been uncomfortable.”

  
“Y-Yeah, well, y’know. I can handle it,” I say, trying to sound confident but most likely failing.

 

Monika laughs again. “I really hope one day you can be happy.”

“Geez, where is this coming from? What happened today?” I feel my face turning red at the sincerity in her voice.

“... it’s okay. I just wasn’t really expecting to see anyone ever come up here... you all have your lives and routines, but you still were able to come see me...”  
  
She stops playing for a moment.

“Maybe there can be happiness in the literature club after all.”  
  
_What does she mean by that?_  
  
She starts playing again. “Thank you for stopping by, Natsuki. Would… Would you mind going home now? I think... I think I need to be alone for a little while...”  


“Oh, uh, okay! But let me know if you ever decide to clue me in on what’s going on in your head, okay?”  
  
Monika chuckles softly. “Thank you for being my friend, Natsuki.”

I leave the room, closing the door behind me. It might just be my imagination, but...

_Is she crying?_

I suppose there’s stuff going on behind the scenes for everyone. I always thought Monika would have a super easy life; She’s super popular, pretty, and insanely talented. But the sadness in her voice was so... genuine.

_Well, I should probably head home now... hopefully he’s not waiting for me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shut up, I'm not crying, you're crying.
> 
> For real though, I got a bit emotional writing this chapter, haha. I guess it also reveals the namesake of the story. Whenever I hear it, I just think it fits Natsuki so well; it's a sweet, sombre melody.
> 
> Say what you want about Monika, but she's definitely a tragic character. Hopefully one day she'll find what she's looking for.


	20. Ban-Gohan

As I walk home, I can hear Monika’s words echoing in my head.  
  
_”Maybe there can be happiness in the literature club after all.”_

I wonder what kinds of pain she’s been concealing behind her poised persona. What was she referring to when she talked about not being able to reach something so close to her?

Running the club must be harder on her than I thought. I’d always assumed she was invincible, but... maybe I should try and be a bit kinder to her.

Well, as long as she doesn’t touch my manga. I don’t want anything bad happening to it again after... after...

I sigh. I remember falling down, the books flying everywhere. I remember the panic I felt trying to smooth out the crease left in one of the volumes. I remember the crushing sense of defeat when I figured out it was hopeless; it felt worse than what He’d done yesterday.

 

But then I remember Yuri’s kindness. When no one else was there, she came over and checked on me. She even brought me into a hug, which I know I’ve never seen her do before. It’s been years since I’ve felt someone’s touch like that without it being accompanied by pain. I know Sayori likes to jump around and randomly hug people, but... this was different. I felt... safe, like I could be totally vulnerable in her arms.

When I arrive home, the sun is just starting to set. I slowly turn the handle and pull the door towards me. I’m immediately hit by a gust of warm air. It smells... like cooking?

My stomach betrays me, loudly announcing my presence. Evidently, He heard this, as I hear his footsteps clomp out from the kitchen.

“Hello, sweetie,” he says, all too softly for someone so jagged and spiny, “have you forgotten about today?”

“O-Of course not, Papa!” I stammer. What the hell was he talking about?! _What was I supposed to remember?! Oh god oh god ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod-_  
“Hmph, I suppose you’re not as much of a disappointment as you look,” He lets a toxic laugh out, “That’s right! It’s _Ban-Gohan_ Day!”

 _Dinner! I get to have Dinner!_  
  
This was the one day of the week I looked forward to at home. Most of the time, being here was pretty dangerous, but occasionally he’d be making himself dinner. He always cooked up way too much food for himself, so I usually got to have whatever was leftover when he was finished.

“Now sit down in the other room, and be quiet. I swear if I hear another sound of any kind from you...”

I gulp. Clutching my stomach in a vain attempt to stop it rumbling, I kneel down at the dining table in the next room over, waiting obediently.

Unlike me, he wasn’t a cook by nature. His meals were very simple, and he rarely if ever used any kinds of seasoning besides salt. But I didn’t care; It was real food.

After about twenty minutes, I hear Him walk over with his pounding footsteps. He drops a large bowl of noodles on the table, chunks of meat, eggs, and vegetables swimming through them. He greedily spoons a large portion onto his plate, slurping it up messily.

As he spoons out more, a small piece of meat rebelliously leaps out of the noodles. I can feel myself drooling. _Maybe he won’t notice..._

I gingerly reach out for the scrap of meat, my vision tunneled onto it.

However, just before I can grab it, He swipes his thick chopsticks at my hand, snapping against my knuckles painfully. I yelp in shock, reflexively pulling my hand back, gripping it tightly.

“I thought you were aware of the rules...” He grumbled ominously, slurping up more noodles.

“S-Sorry, Papa... I’ll b-be more careful...”

 _That’s right; Once he’s done eating, I get to have what’s left_. I was just... I got careless, and let my hunger get the better of me.

  
He grunts, spooning out more noodles. After what seems like an eternity, he doesn’t take any more, and stands up.

“Okay, you know the drill,” He barks, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, “Clean all this up or you’ll be punished. And I _will_ check the rubbish to see if you’ve just thrown it out. Clear?”  
  
I nod. Apparently satisfied, he lumbers away and leaves, slamming the door behind him. I wait a few moments in case he returns, but there’s just silence. He’s gone.

There’s still a good amount of food left, sitting limply in the middle of the table. At first, I reach over to take his plate to place noodles on, but I instead find myself simply grabbing the serving bowl, hungrily shoveling the food into my mouth. I can barely taste it, but I can’t stop myself; I’m just so hungry.

Before I know it, it’s all gone; not a single noodle remains.

Silently and methodically, I gather everything up and take it back to kitchen to clean it. I did like doing the dishes, because it gave me a sense of normalcy. I imagine other people help their parents out cleaning up after dinner, but it’s probably under different circumstances.

I did like to play with the bubbles a bit though. I’d never admit it to anyway, but I love how fun and floaty they are. It reminded me of when I was a kid, helping mum with the cleaning. I wish I could have that innocence back...

Once I finish up, I neatly stack the bowls and plates, returning them to the cupboard. I feel like I have a lot more energy; perhaps today wasn’t so bad after all.

I quietly walk over to my room, pulling out a sheet of paper and laying it on my desk.

_Now, what should I write for tomorrow..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ban-Gohan Day" just means it's Dinner day, since Ban-Gohan is "dinner" In Japanese. Ban refers to the evening, and "Gohan" as a suffix means meal. By itself, it refers to either a meal or a bowl of rice. so "Ban-gohan" is literally "The evening meal".


	21. Your beach

I stare at the paper in front of me for a solid ten minutes. Do I have too much to write about, or not enough? _There’s way too much that happened today, I don’t know if I could articulate all of that into a poem._  
  
_But I can try._  
  
I pull the cap off of my pen with a satisfying _pop_ , and start scribbling down some words

 

 **Willow**  
  
_Hello there, Willow tree,_

_How are you today?_

_Would you like some apple sauce,_

_As your long hair sways?_  
  


_  
Hello there, Willow tree,_

_Is there something wrong?_

_Would you like me to sit down,_

_And sing with you a song?_  
  


_  
Hello there, Willow tree,_

_What’s on your mind?_

_It’s okay, undo the latches,_

_Release what’s confined._

_Hello there, Willow tree,_

_Your hugs are so warm,_

_Bathed in gossamer,_

_Your graceful, flourishing form,_

_Hello there, Willow tree,_

_Can you protect me?_

_If there’s ever trouble,_

_Can I count on you?_

 

I rest my pen down on the desk, and raise the poem up high, studying every line carefully. I like this; it reminds me of-

_Ding!_

  
“Eek!” I shout, surprised by the sudden noise. I drop the poem, watching it float to the ground, feeling my breathing get faster and faster.

_It’s okay, there’s no one here, no one’s going to hurt you, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay..._

_Oh, it’s just my phone..._  
  
[ _“Hello, do you have a moment?”_ ] reads the text. It’s from Yuri.

[ _“Sure, what’s up?”_ ] I tap out a quick response.

After a little while, another _ding!_  
[ _“Forgive me if this is inappropriate, but I have an idea for what could be an exceptional writing prompt. Have you written a poem for tomorrow yet?”_ ]  
  
I probably shouldn’t tell her that I’ve already got something. I know it’s hard for her to reach out, so she must be pretty invested in this. [ _“What were you thinking?”_ ]

[ _“Emery told me about your poem today. To tell you the truth, I coincidentally wrote about the same kind of thing.”_ ]

[ _“He’d better not have made it sound weird!”_ ]

[ _“No, No, I was just thinking... Why don’t we try and write about the same thing again? But on purpose this time?”_ ]

This was actually a pretty cool idea. It’d be interesting to see how we both use our different styles to convey a similar idea. _I wish I could’ve seen her poem today..._

[ _“You’re on! What did you have in mind?”_ ]  
[ _“Well, I was actually wondering if you could choose the theme, is that okay?”_ ]

 

 _Hmm... what do I want to write about..._  
  
[ _“The beach! I want to write about the beach!”_ ]

 

 A slight pause.

 

[ _“The beach? Why? Isn’t that a bit simplistic?”_ ]

[ _“Hey, you asked me! Is there a problem?”_ ]

I have good memories about the beach. During the warm summers, it’s one of the few places I feel like I can go and just forget about everything. I can just close my eyes and listen to the waves playfully lapping at the shoreline.

[ _“I suppose not. I’ll write about the beach as well then. See you tomorrow_! _”_ ]

[ _“Yeah! Be prepared to read the best poem ever!”_ ]

She doesn’t respond, so I assume the conversation is over for now. I was going to just share my poem about the Willow tree, but this’ll be a fun challenge!  
  
I tap my head with my pen, trying to think of what to write. This could be a great opportunity to demonstrate how you can express powerful emotions, even with language that’s easy to understand!

 _So, am I going to describe the beach? Talk about stuff happening at the beach?_  
Yuri was right. I’m not sure if I have much to go off of here, and just absentmindedly threw out the first thing I thought of.

“Wait, what if...” I mumble to myself, starting to write, “what if _I_ am the beach...”  
  
This might sound weird, but bear with me here. The beach gives me lots of happy thoughts, so what if I tried to give that to someone else? What if I could try to make someone else happy, someone else who really needs someone to tell them it’ll be alright? In that way, I could be their beach, using my waves to scoop up their anxieties, embracing them with my sunlight, kissing them with the refreshing, salty air.

 

“Today I have a special place, a beach for us to go...”

My pen skates across the page, like a pebble through the sea. One, two, bounce, bounce, three, four, bounce, bounce, laying down deliberate metaphors, every word chosen with care. I want to make this a truly amazing piece.

I rest my pen on the desk, scanning my poem.

“I’ll be your beach... just you wait and see!”

Placing the poem in my notebook, I decide that it’s probably a good time to settle down for the night. He hasn’t returned yet, and I don’t want to be in his way in case there’s any trouble.

 

...

**CRASH**  
  
I wake up to the sound of glass breaking outside. I can hear shouting. I can hear Him shouting. I’m caught in a warped state between waking and asleep, and I can’t move. I can just hear glass breaking, and Him shouting, and glass breaking, and my heart beat getting faster, and him shouting, and my heart getting louder, and louder, and faster, and faster, faster, faster, faster, fasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfaster...

My eyes dart frantically around the room, begging for some unseen force to help me. I can feel my arms shaking, Teacup jostling underneath, held tightly to my chest.

“NO!” I shout. I manage to blink, and I can sit up. I feel like I can’t breathe. I quietly tiptoe over to my window, where I heard the noise coming from, but couldn’t see any indication of a disturbance; He wasn’t there, and there wasn’t any glass to be seen. I didn’t hear Him come back inside, and I didn’t hear anyone clean up the mess. _Was it just a dream?_  


I slide back into bed, confused, and nestle Teacup under my arm. I try to control my breathing, taking methodical, deep breaths, fighting my heartbeat.

 _It’s okay, you’re safe, it was just a bad dream, no one’s going to hurt you..._  
  


I eventually manage to calm myself down, and close my eyes.

 

_Good night, Teacup. I’ll try to not wake you up again, okay?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the later part of this chapter is inspired by personal experiences. As I've said before in a previous chapter, I think it's highly likely that Natsuki has PTSD as a result of her home life. This brings on hyper-vigilance or awareness, being extremely easy to startle, and flashbacks/night terrors.
> 
> I have PTSD, so I thought I could use my experience with it to paint a picture of what life might be like for her.
> 
> I do have occasions where I will feel myself back in the moments where I was being beaten, and everything starts to get a bit hazy. Certain sounds (especially things like doors slamming) can act as triggers.
> 
> Through therapy, I've developed safe coping mechanisms to help calm myself down when these moments happen, but it's still difficult, and it was immeasurably more so whilst I was still in the belly of the beast, so to speak.
> 
> Also, It's not too far-fetched that Yuri and Natsuki would text, right?


	22. Protect

I felt cautiously optimistic today. The sky is dyed a deep blue, as if the ocean was swirling around and looking back at me. I’ve written a great poem, and I can’t wait to share it at the literature club today. I start humming, a slight skip in my step. I don’t know why, but I feel like today’s going to be great!

I reach my first class of the day, and take my seat. Everything is going to be great!

My optimism was short lived, however, as the teacher went around to distribute a surprise quiz.

_Of course._

 

...

 

 _Damn, that was rough... I should’ve studied more._  
  
It’s mid-morning break, so I make my way over to my class’s home room. I had to concentrate super hard on that quiz, so I’m pretty drained. I could use a bit of a nap before my next class. Setting my bag down next to my seat, I flop down into my desk.

I fold my arms and close my eyes, shuffling into my chair slightly, and soon, I’m drifting away into a dream.

 

I was walking along a cliffside, filled with bright yellow flowers. Their friendly petals rippled in the caring breeze, with serene waves rhythmically colliding with the rock face down below.  The ribbons in my hair dance alongside them, singing a sweet song. I can’t help but smile; the view is absolutely stunning.

I come to a fork in the trail; The path left leads to a forest, where I can hear birds chirping and the wind whistling serenely, whereas the right path continues on to an expansive field, with grass so smooth it looks like liquid, rustling back and forth. I pause for a bit, but decide to take the path into the woods.

It’s... I don’t even know how to describe it. Delicate blue mushrooms glow brightly, illuminating the walkway. As I step forward, a violet butterfly glide past my eyes, its wispy wings flickering alongside the mushrooms. A fine, sparkling dust follows its flight, making me giggle. I feel compelled to follow the butterfly, as if it will bring me never-ending happiness.

Still laughing, I chase after the butterfly, not walking, but not running either; it seems to fly at a speed just quickly enough to keep my attention.

Suddenly, I feel rough spines on my face, back and forth, plunging inwards and back out repeatedly, rapidly. A bitter blizzard whirls out of nowhere, biting at me painfully. I can’t see the butterfly anymore; everything is snow.

“Gah!” I sputter, coughing uncontrollably. My vision is filled with a dense, cloud of white mist.

I hear laughing, and am jolted awake as… whoever it was continues to clap the chalk erasers against my head.

“Wake up, fun-size!” I hear the culprit sneer.

I look around. Everyone else in the room is staring back at me. Some are silent, whilst others are covering their faces in an attempt to conceal their giggling. I feel the room starting to spin.

I get out of my chair, sprinting to the girl’s bathroom.

When I arrive, I simply look at my reflection in the mirror. A sad, lonely loser looks back at me, covered in chalk dust. I shake my head to get the dust out of my hair, forming a puffy little cloud. I cough some more, and turn the taps. A steady stream of water gushes out.

Cupping some water, I splash my face a few times, rubbing it dry with paper towels. “I think I got most of it...” I mumble to myself dejectedly. _I wish I wasn’t so small... I wish he would just leave me alone..._

Returning to the classroom, I notice my schoolbag is open. I’d made a point of zipping it up before I went to sleep. _Surely they didn’t take..._   
I fish around in my bag in panic, but find my notebook, sighing in relief. I’d die if they took this.

 _The bell’s probably going to ring soon. I should get going...  
_ I sling my bag around my shoulders, and make my way over to my next class.

 

...

 

I like my art class, because it allows me to do something with my passion for manga whilst safely keeping it hidden under the guise of trying out a different drawing style. It’s also my last class of the day, so by association, it’s my last hurdle before I get to go to the literature club.

I stroll out of the classroom, holding my head high. I won’t let what happened earlier get to me. The hallway’s probably crowded, and I don’t really want to face anyone else, so I duck around the corner, walking down another corridor. There aren’t many classes held at this time around this part of the building, so I should have a relatively easy pathway to the stairwell, and then to the club. I can still have-

 _Thwump_  
  
“Hold on there, fun-size.”

 

Out of nowhere, I feel a hand clasp around my right shoulder, immediately stopping me. _Wait, there’s no way He’s here, He can’t be-_  
  
I look over my shoulder, and I see the jerk from earlier towering over me.

“W-What’s going on?” My fear betrays me, forcing a timid stutter out of my mouth.

He grins a poisonous grin. “Settle down there, half-pint. I just want to have a chat.”  
  
_You definitely do not._   
  
He steps around, his hand still firmly on my shoulder. “I just want a little favour, that’s all.”  
  
“H-Huh?”

 

“Yeah, see, there’s this great new grill that opened up downtown, and I want to go down there with my pals, right? But the problem is,” he says, turning to look at his fist, “I don’t think I’ve got enough cash on me to treat the guys. You get what I’m saying?”

 _Gulp._  
  
“Y-You want money? I don’t really-“  
  
“Ah, ah, ah, before you agree, I just think I should let you know something...” He reaches into his back pocket, but keeps whatever he has hidden behind his back. “I think you’ll want to help me out...”  
  
He reveals his prize. I gasp.

“Teacup!”  
  
He tauntingly has Teacup held up high. How did he...?  
  
I suddenly realize. _My bag was open in the homeroom!_

“Now, if you’re hurting for cash, I’m sure we can figure out an... alternative means of payment.” His gaze snaps towards me.

“What do y-you mean?”

He cackles, “You’re not usually the type I go for, but hey... you don’t look like you’ll put up much of a fight.”

I stare up at him for a moment. Then I spit right in his eye.  
  
_Oh. I probably shouldn’t have done that._

I turn to try and run, but his hand immediately moves from my shoulder to my neck, gripping it tightly. He holds me up in the air, letting the entire weight of my body be suspended by his choking fingers.

“Haha! I like that, fun-size. You’ve got spunk.”  
  
I try to pry his fingers off of my neck, but it’s no good. He’s just too strong.

“Now, shall we try this again? Or are you going to-“  
  
“ _Hey!_ ”

He’s interrupted by someone shouting at the other end of the corridor, and lets me drop to the floor. I gasp for air. I look up and see...

“…Emery?!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~GET HIM MC, GET HIM~~
> 
> Well, this isn't what I initially had in mind when I had the idea of writing a Natsuki POV story, but hey, I guess it just sort of happened.
> 
> The latter scene is inspired by real life events; I remember when I was around 11 years old being stopped by a last year student, who'd taken my bag. I was pretty scared, and he suddenly shoots his hand out, grabbing me by the neck and lifting me up above him. It was terrifying, and one of the scariest feelings I have ever experienced. It didn't necessarily help that years later, the person in my family who hurt me the most would often go after my neck, leaving thick finger shaped purple bruises. It was part of why I wore scarves so often growing up, but I digress..


	23. He may be a dense boi, but he's OUR dense boi

Emery is standing tall at the end of the hallway, his arms flared out by his sides. He takes a few deliberate steps forward, cracking his knuckles.

“Hey, look at this!” The bully jeers, “Is this your boyfriend coming to save you, fun-size?”

  
“W-W-W-W-“ I can feel myself turning red, but I can’t say anything.

 

 _Just kill me now._  
  
“Well, looks like something’s come up, so you stay right here.” He says. “Let me go deal with this real quick, and then I’ll go take you somewhere a bit… quieter.”  
He elbows me in the stomach with intense force, knocking me down to the ground. I’m totally winded, and can’t do anything but feebly wrap my arms around myself. I can see Emery still advancing towards him _He’s gonna get killed!_

He pauses for a moment, waiting for the bully to stride towards him. He raises his fists defensively.

“Square up.”  
  
As the two meet, Emery suddenly butts his head against the bully’s, dazing him.

“Fuck, how thick is your fucking skull?!”

Emery follows up by launching a swift kick, but the bully grabs his leg. He delivers a punishing blow to the side of his face, and then throws him back by his leg. He lumbers after Emery and goes in for another grab, but Emery is faster and manages to roll out of the way. The momentum causes the bully to stagger around, and Emery takes advantage of this my kneeing him right in the nose.

It’s hard to breathe… Everything looks kind of fuzzy, like little Teacup over there on the floor...

 

_Wait. Teacup!_

 

Sure enough, Teacup was sitting patiently in the middle of the floor; he must have fallen out of the bully’s pocket during the scuffle. He’s currently distracted with Emery, now’s my chance!  
  
I try to get up, but my stomach hurts too much. I’m going to have to literally drag myself over. My arms shaking, I slowly crawl over to Teacup, and scoop him up in my hands. _It’s good to have you back, little one._  
  
“Oh? You want to join in too?”  
  
_Fuck._  
  
He saw me. He starts marching towards me, rolling his shoulders. _I guess this is how I die... at least I have little Teacup with me..._  
  
Suddenly, Emery leaps onto his back, clawing at his face. Emery is using all of his strength to jostle the bully’s head, throwing off his centre of balance. After a brief moment, he stumbles dizzily around, and rams his head into the wall with the full weight of his body. He slumps down to the ground, unconscious.

“D-Did... did you kill him?” I ask nervously.

Emery leans down, pressing his fingers against the bully’s neck. “Nah, he’s still got a pulse, he’ll be fine.”  
  
I try to push myself up, but I can’t. Emery runs over, and hoists me up by my shoulders. _What... what just happened..._  
  
I look down at the bully’s unmoving body, walking over to him. I stare for a few moments, before delivering a weak kick to his crotch. _Fuck you, guy._  
  
“Hey, we should probably get going before he wakes up.” Emery suggests. _That’s a pretty sensible suggestion, coming from-_  
  
_Wait... he did all this... maybe he’s not such a moron..._  
  
_Or maybe he is, and he’s too dumb to walk away from danger. But I guess technically, he did save me. I should be grateful for that._  
  


“Come on, we’re going to be late for the literature club!”  
  
I pick up my bag, placing Teacup inside safely, and then move as fast as I can to catch up with Emery.

We walk most of the way in silence, but I suddenly stop. I need to ask him about what happened back there.

 

“Hey...”  
  
He turns around on his heel, eyebrow raised.

 

“Th-Thanks, I guess...”  
  
He scratches his head, laughing. “Don’t worry about it; you’re my friend, right?”  
  
“Y-Yeah... But, there’s something I have to ask,”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Why did you stop to help me?”

 

Emery looks up, clearly deep in thought. “When we were kids, Sayori used to get picked on a lot by some of the bigger kids. She had this big stuffed cow that she called, um, Mr.Cow... anyway, she took him _everywhere_ with her. She loved that cow.”  
  
He places his hand on his chin contemplatively. “I remember one time, this kid pushed her down and took Mr. Cow away from her. She was so sad; she cried so hard! It hurt me to see her so down, so I tried to take matters into my own hands >”  
  
“I probably should have told an adult or something, but I wanted to help her, haha!” He laughs sheepishly, the details of the memory flowing back as he retells it. “So I challenged the guy to a fight. I got knocked up pretty bad, but... I ended up getting Mr. Cow back for her. She was so happy... I love that smile...”

He turns over to me, coming back to reality. “But anyways, I saw you down there, and your toy cat in his hands, and, well... I guess it just brought me back to that moment. You were Sayori, and that guy had taken Mr.Cow, and I’d be damned if I was gonna let that slide!”  
  
_Wow... that was surprisingly deep. Maybe I was wrong about this guy..._  
  


“You really must cherish your bond with Sayori...” I say wistfully. I wish I could have a connection that tight with someone; it sounds wonderful.

“H-Hey, what are you saying?” He stammers, scratching his head. It’s so obvious that he likes her a lot. I suppose I can finally see why she likes him.

“Anyway,” He says teasingly, “I’m already your boyfriend, aren’t I?”  
  
I punch him weakly in the arm. “Gross, don’t even joke about that! You’re not even _remotely_ close to the person I like!”  
  
“Ah, so you do like _someone_ though!”  
  
_Urk. That was dirty. I can’t believe you’ve done this._  
  
As much as I try, I can’t stop my face flushing deep red.

“W-W-Whatever! Let’s just go t-to the club!”  


I quicken my pace, leaving him behind. I hear him laugh, and then he starts running to catch up with me.


	24. Are you okay, everyone?

Somehow, Emery and me weren’t the last people to show up at the club. Sayori was sitting by herself in the corner, absentmindedly dropping an eraser on her desk, picking it, and dropping it again. Yuri was similarly alone in the opposite corner, a thick tome already half-open in front of her. Seconds after we walk through the door, Monika follows.

“Oh geez, I’m the last aga-“ She starts, but immediately takes a step back upon seeing the two of us. “What an earth happened with you two?!”

Sayori lifts her head up at this, noticing Emery. He has a large dark ring forming around his eye.

“It’s okay, really! We just, uh, ran into a spot of bother on our way here. But it’s really no big deal!”  


Monika doesn’t look convinced. “I... I see... Well, I think perhaps after we’re done with formalities, you should look for something to put on your face...”  


I glance over at Sayori, who immediately ducks her head down and off to the side. _She’s not herself today..._

“As you all know,” Monika started, resuming her role as club leader, “the festival is coming up next week. I’d like you all to think about something you could contribute towards our display, and we can share our ideas at the end of the meeting. Does that sound good?”  
  
Everyone except Sayori nods in agreement. She seems to be in a world of her own.

“Wonderful. Now Emery, go get some ice for your face.”

Emery moves towards the door, but pauses, looking over at Sayori. He looks like he wants to say something to her, but instead decides to walk out of the door. Monika then strides towards the back of the classroom, adjusting the large white ribbon in her hair.

 _I guess that puts it on me to explain what happened._  
  
I walk over to the corner, my hands clasped behind my back. “Hey, you doing alright over here?”

Sayori doesn’t acknowledge me, simply letting out a long sigh.

I reach out and grab the eraser from her desk, breaking her concentration. She blinks a few times, then slowly looks up at me. There’s something missing from her eyes… that ever-present sunshine? Her eyes look dull and listless. However, she quickly scrunches her eyes shut, and puts on a happy face.

“Oh, hey Natsuki!” She says cheerfully, “I kind of just spaced out there, haha! What’s up?”

I immediately feel awkward. The shift in front of me was kind of surreal. “Uh, I know it’s not my business or anything, but is anything getting you down?”  


Sayori shakes her head. “Don’t worry about that, what about you? What happened with Emery?”

“Some guy came out and took... something of mine”. There’s no way I’m telling her about Teacup. “Emery happened to be there, and the two got into a bit of a fight. He’ll be okay, he’s got a thick skull, he can absorb that kind of damage.” I chuckle self-consciously at my bad joke.

Sayori looks down at her desk. “You two must be getting very close, huh?”

 _Ew, no way.  
_  
“D-Don’t say stuff like that! If anything, he did it for you.”  
  
“Eh? How’s that possible?”  
  
“He told me the whole situation reminded him of a time when you two were kids, and someone took a cow that you had.”  
  
Sayori lets out a sharp breath. “He could’ve gotten really hurt. He should look after himself more...”  
  
She sighs again, then turns to look out of the window. “I wish things could be like that again. Just two kids, playing.”  
  
_Okay, there’s definitely something she’s not telling me. I can probably guess, but I’d better not say it outright._  
  
As if catching herself doing something wrong, she abruptly changes her tone. “Whoops, you don’t need to hear about all of that! I’m just happy to hear everything’s okay.”

“Are you sure? Because you don’t exactly look happy.”  
  
She shifts uncomfortably at my statement.

“Remember when you said I could come to you if I needed someone to talk to? Well, I, uh, you can do that with me too if you need to.”

Sayori laughs. “Don’t worry about me, Natsuki. It’s just a little raincloud. It’ll be okay.”

I hear Emery return, holding a bottle of apple juice against his head. _I mean, I guess that’ll do..._  
  
His eyes meet mine, and I nod behind me towards Sayori. He looks at her, then back to me, and nods knowingly. _He knows her better, she’ll probably open up to him more than me._  


I take this opportunity to walk over to Yuri. “Are you ready to see the best poem ever?”  


She gasps, startled by my sudden appearance. However, she soon sighs in relief.

“O-Oh, it’s just you, Natsuki. Sorry, I just, um...” she quickly steals a glance at Sayori and Emery, “things feels a bit strange today. Is that fair to say?”  
  
I nod.

 

“A-Anyway! You did write a poem about the beach after all?” She puts her book away and fetches her own poem from her notebook, handing it to me.

“I hope you like it... I... I spent a while on it...”  
  
She must have really put thought into this. I hand her my paper, and start scanning the poem.

 _Wow. The imagery here is really vivid..._ I can feel the words flashing through my thoughts, warping me to the beach. I can feel the waves gently encapsulating me, like cool blankets, dotting the sand with foam.

I look over to the corner of the room. Emery is now bringing Monika over, who kneels down next to Sayori, whispering something.

“S-So...” Yuri mumbles, snapping me back to poetry, “What do you think? It’s not too cliché, is it?”

“Yuri...” I say, still looking over the poem. “This is... I don’t even know the words to say how cool this is. I bet you do though, you know every big word.”  
  
She laughs softly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ll admit, I was initially skeptical, but after some careful thought, this prompt turned out to be quite exhilarating.”

 _She has to, like, have a thesaurus between two slices of bread for lunch every day._  
  
“Yours is also quite nice. I particularly enjoy how your piece seems to take on the embodiment of what the beach could mean to someone, whereas I decided to try and place my reader into a new locale.”

“I told you you’d be impressed!” I say smugly, folding my arms.

“Would you...” Yuri starts, fiddling with the clip in her hair, “Would you mind i-if I kept this?”   


She holds up my poem, expectantly.   
  
“Oh, uh, I g-guess not. I don’t think the others would mind...”  


I glance over, and see that Sayori has left. Monika and Emery are now talking between each other, both wearing a concerned expression.

 

“If that’s the case, I guess that means I have to keep yours! I can’t just give you my poem for free, can I?  
  
_Smooth._  
  
Yuri smiles. “I suppose so. I-I guess if we ever do this again, we...”

She stops to take a deep breath.

  
“We’ll have an example of each other’s writing to compare it to.”

“Okay, everyone!” Monika announces, walking to the front of the room, “Bit of a change of plans today!”  
  
“Sayori’s not feeling well, so she’s gone home early. I think under the circumstances, it’d be best for us to simply think about what we’re going to do to prepare for the festival. Did you all have any suggestions?”  


Emery raises his hand. “I know Sayori was working on some posters, I thought I could maybe go over and help her out with that.”  
  
Monika furrows her brow. “Is there not something else you’d like to do, maybe with someone else? I’m sure she’s just had a bit of a bad day today.”  
  
“I dunno... this feels different. I’d really feel much more at ease if I could spend some time with her. Maybe she’ll feel more comfortable telling me what’s wrong outside of school.”

He looks determined, like nothing will change his mind.  
  
Monika sighs. “I suppose that’s a fair point... What about you, Natsuki?”  
  
_Shoot, I wasn’t prepared for this. What can I do well? What can I make?_  
  
“I can make pretty good cupcakes...” I wonder out loud.

“That sounds like a terrific idea!” Monika beams.

“Wait, huh?” _What did I agree to?_  
  
“So Natsuki can make cupcakes for anyone who might want to visit us, and… Yuri?”

Yuri is similarly caught off guard. “Uuuuu… everything’s already accounted for, isn’t it?”

Emery turns over to Yuri. “What about atmosphere? You could make a banner for us and maybe bring in some of your incense stuff.”  


_He’s…actually more perceptive than I thought. I was wrong about you, Emery._

 

“I-I guess that sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it...” Yuri trails off.

 

“Then I think we can end on that note! See you all at the festival!”  
  
Monika takes a slight bow, and hastily leaves the room. She looks like she has something she needs to take care of. Emery quickly follows, letting the door close by itself. I take a step towards the door.

“Well, guess I’ll see-“  
  
“W-Wait!”  
  
I stop. What’s happening?  
  
“I didn’t mention it earlier, because... everyone else was here, but… you have bruises on your neck...”  
  
_Fuck! That jerk really did grip my neck, didn’t he?_  
  
I clap my hand over my neck, trying to laugh it off. “No I don’t!”  


“Natsuki... what actually happened earlier?”

_Okay, this doesn’t necessarily have to end badly. I can just say I fell over or something._

  
“And I know you didn’t fall over or something.”

 

_Damn, is this that ‘third-eye’ you keep mentioning in your poems?_

 

“W-Well, I, uh...”

 

 I feel a lump in my throat. I already know this is going to be hard to explain.


	25. Painful

Yuri stands unmoving. She doesn’t look angry, but... focused? Her eyes are made of steel, searching my soul for any shred of doubt.

I fidget, uncomfortably trying to come up with a convincing lie, but everything just sounds dumb in my head. Sighing, I hang my head low. I’m going to have to tell the truth.

“Okay, so... as I was leaving my last class today... This guy, he... he grabs me by the shoulder, right?”  
  
Yuri nods.

“He’d taken something from me, something really important to me, and he wanted, um, h-he wanted...”

I start to stutter. I can feel my throat closing up, the phantom fingers wrapping around my neck. I cough, trying to retain my composure.

“H-He was going to... t-take advantage of me...”

I hear Yuri gasp. “My goodness, that’s dreadful!”

“A-And that’s when he...” I point to the purple lines around my neck. “And when Emery...”  
  
“I see… Have you told anyone besides me what happened? Do you think your father could help?”

 

_Do_

_you_

_think_

_your_

_father_

_could_

_help?_  
  
I feel my muscles tensing up. My thoughts are crackling, like broken fireworks, spiraling around without direction. It was an innocent enough question, and would be a good idea under normal circumstances. But I felt it pierce right through my heart. My teeth start to chatter on their own, and my blood races through my veins.

I could feel my fists shaking. I can’t unball my hands. All I can feel is fear, anger, loathing, pain, and sorrow all jabbing at me with extended lances, rhythmically thrusting, over, again, thrusting, rhythmically, over, again, again, again, *SNAP!*, the belt, against my arm, bruises, hate, tears, *SNAP!*, over, again, again, again, *SNAP!*, *SNAP!*, *SNAP!*, *SNAP!*, Again, again, over and over, again, again, againagainagainagainagainagainagainagain…”

_”You should’ve let him dispose of you when you had the chance!”_

  
I hear His voice rattling in my head mercilessly. In vain, I clasp my head in my hands, shaking.

_”How do you find new ways to sink even lower?”_

_”You’re an unclean waste of my money!”_

_”Your mother would fucking hate you if she saw you now.”_

_”Do I make myself clear?”_

_”Do you want this to be easy or hard?”  
”If you come out now, it won’t be as bad as if I have to find you…”_  
  
No. No. No. No. I can’t do this anymore. _I can’t do this anymore!!!_

I lunge forward, wrapping my arms tightly around Yuri. All I can feel is a hundred lifetimes worth of pain pouring out of my chest in ugly, heaving breaths. Scalding tears flow from my tightly shut eyes, flooding down my face.

She tenses up slightly in surprise, but after a short while, she returns the hug. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I just want it to stop.

“Wh-Wh-Why me?! What d-did I do-o-o?!”   
  
I bawl into her blazer. I’d been trying so hard, for so long, to shut out the fact that what was happening to me was truly fucked up. It was the only way I could cope. It was such a heavy burden, like all of my regret and hatred for Him, for me, for everything, was piling bricks onto my back each day, each hour, each minute, each second.

 

And today, I snapped.

 

“H-H-He tried t-to… toooooooo!” I wail. I can feel Yuri sighing, as she gently rubs her hand across my back in an effort to comfort me.

 

“Let it all out now… it’s over now…”

 

“M-My p-p-papa... he’s not…h-hes not a good person!”  
  
Yuri pulls back slightly. “What does he do?”  
  
I wipe my face on my sleeve. I must look like an absolute wreck, but I just don’t care anymore. I slowly remove my blazer. Still sniffling, I reach over, undoing the buttons that line my right shirt sleeve, and reveal the dark bruises from His belt.

She recoils at the sight of my arm.

“I-It’s my f-fault...” I sniffle, hiding my arm behind my back, “I’m a d-disapp-p-pointment, a-and he’s just trying to discipline me...”

Yuri pauses for a moment, choosing her words carefully. She pulls me in for another hug, and I can’t stop myself from immediately crying again,

“You poor thing... You’ve been through so much... I-I never realized…”

I can feel myself getting dizzy. I’m breathing too quickly. I’m crying too much. My hands are getting tinglyyyyyyyyyy…

 

…

 

_Where am I?_

 

I feel warm, and I can feel something gently stroking my hair. I try to get up, wincing from the pain in my stomach.

“O-Oh! You’re awake!”  
  
I turn around, Yuri had been... holding me? _What is going on?_  
  


“Y-you, um…” She fumbles around with her words, “I didn’t want to d-disturb you… After all of that, you just looked so peaceful, I…I’m sorry!”

“N-No, uh, it’s fine! I appreciate the gesture!” I stutter.

 

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Yuri is the one to break it, surprisingly.

 

“So, um… You’re not going home tonight, are you?”

 _Oh. I forgot about that._  
  


“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”  
  
Yuri rests her hand on her chin, deep in thought. Then, she claps her hands together excitedly.

 

“You could come to my house!” She says, with way too much enthusiasm.

  
A beat.

 

Her eyes widen, and she blushes an intense shade of red. “I-I-I-I mean, n-not in a w-weird way or anything! I-If you wanted t-to, You c-could… uuuuuuuu…”

She buries her face in her hands, and turns away. As usual, she thought too far ahead for her logic to catch up.

“Would that really be okay? Would your parents mind?”

Yuri parts her fingers slightly, peeking through. “U-Um, th-they’re not here, s-so it’d be okay…”

I place my hand on her shoulder, and allow myself to smile. “Thank you for being my friend, Yuri.”  
  
I think it’d be good to have a night away from home. Perhaps I could sleep without worrying when He’ll show up.

I walk over to the door. “Shall we get going, then?”


	26. Calm

The walk over to Yuri’s house was pleasant. It’s weird; usually as I’m leaving the literature club, I’m filled with a sense of unease; I get all jittery and feel like a fly whizzing towards a pitcher plant. But this... this is nice.

The sky is painted a bright orange, as the sun starts getting ready for its bed time. Small birds fly high above, chirping happily. For once, I don’t envy them; I’m flying free this time. The air is cool and crisp, and wraps me up delicately. It’s blissful.

But man... I’m _tired_. Ask anyone, I’m sure they’ll tell you after a bit of a cry they want to nap. I feel like I cried out all of my energy from the past 15 years. Yuri must have noticed this, because she turns over, trying to smile reassuringly.

“I-It’s not far from here...”

I smile back. I’ve never stayed away from home overnight before, so I’m looking forward to it.

Soon, we arrive at Yuri’s house. It’s... huge. The building has a very modern, angular design, and is a bright white, reflecting the waning sunlight. Yuri walks up to the door, and fumbles around with a set of keys. Dangling from the keyring, I notice a small black bow with a cufflink studded into it. I wonder what makes it important…

 

The door swings open, and Yuri holds it back. “A-After you...”

  
I take a few timid steps forward, looking around. Everything is so… clean. As I would’ve expected of Yuri, a lot of the décor uses darker colours; violet, deep blues, that sort of stuff. Tall bookcases line the walls, absolutely packed to bursting with thick volumes. I wonder if her parents are also into this sort of thing, or if she picked it out for herself. Did she get-

**SLAM!**

“EEK!”

_Oh no, He’s home, He’s home, He’s home, I have to get out of here, I have to hide…_

I turn to flee, but trip on my ankles. Yuri leaps forward and catches me.

“W-What happened? Are you okay?”  
  
I blink, and look around. _That’s right… I’m not at my house, this is Yuri’s house…_  
  
The heavy door swinging shut just reminded me so much of how He slams the door at home…I felt like I was back there, and if I was right in front of him…

I sigh in relief. “I-It’s okay, I just thought… well, never mind. It’s okay.”  


Then I realize I’m still in Yuri’s arms.

 

Flustered, I wriggle out, scratching my head nervously. “A-Anyways, uh, this is a nice place, Yuri!”  
  
She smiles warmly. “It is, isn’t it? My parents were both doctors… they really did want the best for me…” She rubs the side of her face shyly, her voice trailing off.

 _Wait… ‘were’?_   
  
“Mewww~!”  
  
Before I can ponder it further, I small cat, runs into the room, jumping into Yuri’s arms and rubbing against her face.

“Haha, hello little one!”  
  
I’m in awe. “Woah, a cat! I didn’t know you had a cat! Look at her, she’s so...”  
  
Yuri scratches the cat behind its ears, and it purrs appreciatively. “Yes, this is little Mango… She’s been ever so good to me…”  
  
“Mango? That’s… not the kind of name I thought you’d pick for a cat.”  
  
Yuri turns to look the cat in the eyes. “When I was little, my mother would bring me sliced mangoes after school. They were soft and ever so sweet. It was lovely, and filled me with the warm feelings this one does,” She raises Mango slightly. “I suppose it makes me feel nostalgic for those times…”  
  
“Now little one,” She says to the cat, “would you like to greet our guest?”  


Yuri places Mango on the ground, who tentatively steps forward to me. I squat down to try and seem more approachable. The cat sniffs at my knee, then gives me an affirming head-bop, making me laugh.

“You can pet her if you’d like.”  
  
I reach out, and Mango licks my hand. It feels funny, like a rough little cloth. I gently tickle her neck, feeling her purr against me. I’ve never felt anything like this before; this must be what Teacup feels like. I can feel my pupils dilating as Mango sits in front of me, nuzzling my fingers. I’m totally absorbed. _She’s just so soft! Look at this cat! LOOK AT IT! She’s so lovely!_

“U-Um, you can make yourself at home for now, I, U-Uh…” Yuri grips her arm nervously, “I have to go take care of something right now. I-I’ll be back in a little while…”  
I nod, and Yuri briskly walks away. I stand up, allowing myself to fully take in her home. This is the complete opposite of my house, but I love it. I stroll over to a large, fluffy sofa and collapse into it. Mango follows me, her little feet making a funny _Pap-Pap-Pap_ against the wooden floor, and she jumps up next to me.

“Hey, uh…” I start to call out to ask if it’s okay for Mango to be on the furniture, but I realize Yuri probably can’t hear me. It appears that Mango isn’t even interested in the furniture, as she flops down on my lap, purring. I smile, resting my hand on her. I’ve barely been here and she’s already smitten with me. I love this feeling.

After a short while, Yuri returns, having changed her clothes. She now wears a dark, long-sleeved shirt and matching jeans. _She’s more chic than I would’ve thought._

“S-Sorry for taking so long, I, Um… I j-just like to get out of my uniform when I get home…”

“Oh, uh, that’s okay! I’ve been making a good pillow for your cat here.” I laugh, looking down at Mango. She lets out a small chirp, and settles back down.

Yuri giggles, and looks over. She smooths a long strand of her hair with her hands, twiddling it around in her fingers.

“W-Well, umm… Are you hungry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to finally look up for Natsuki, it seems.
> 
> Mango is a real cat! (https://i.imgur.com/tXvBTl7.jpg) 
> 
> She's not my cat, but I often see her, as she lives near someone I provide support to through my job, and she's just the friendliest little cat. She likes to jump into my car and just sit on my lap, as you might gather from the picture.
> 
> As for Yuri's casual outfit, it's actually my favourite outfit. You can probably see the scarf in the Mango picture. ~~boo self-inserting trash writer get outta town~~
> 
> I think It'd suit her well, so I included it in here. I also have a pretty funky hair colour (although mine's bright pink, so...). I always liked scarves since they're fun and whooshy and kind of like a little blanket if you need a quick nap. I also still wear them subconsciously because I'd been using them throughout my high school years to hide the bruises He would leave on my neck.
> 
> Natsuki's reaction to the door slamming is based off of personal experience. Door slamming in particular, but loud noises in general are big triggers for my PTSD, as the person who beat me would do it do announce his presence/ to intimidate me. I imagine Natsuki would have a similar reaction on account of her similar experiences.


	27. Tamago, Kudasai!

I do feel hungry, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. “I-It’s okay,” I say, waving my hands. However, my stomach betrays me, growling loudly in protest. Evidently, this was loud enough to disturb Mango, who hops off of my lap and scampers away. I look off to the side, embarrassed.

“I-I guess maybe a little…”  


Yuri laughs, gesturing behind her. “Would you like to help with dinner?”

I agree, and follow her to her kitchen.

  
“Oh wow…”  
  
I can’t contain my excitement. This kitchen is gorgeous; pristine dark marble countertops sparkle alluringly, complementing the purposeful placement of the shining oven. A tall, proud fridge sits in the corner, and there are all kinds of tools lining shelves all around. A fully-stocked spice rack trims the stove, and next to an artisanal wooden chopping board sits a hefty block of the finest kitchen knives I’ve ever seen. All of them are part of a matching set, gleaming beautifully.

I don’t even care what we’re going to make; seeing this place alone is enough.

I stand in the entryway, my eyes wide open, my mouth gaping in sheer awe. Yuri pats my shoulder, bringing me back, and then strides over to the fridge, pulling out various ingredients; onions, eggs, chicken, cheeses, milk... what does she have planned?  
  
She sets them down on the countertop, reaching above her to open up a cupboard, retrieving rice and a couple of bowls. After placing them down, he whips her hair up, tying it in a loose bun, presumably so it doesn’t get into the food. _She looks good like that…_

 

She grabs the end of her sleeve to roll it up, but looks like she’s suddenly remembered something, and quickly pulls it back down.  
  
“W-Would you mind whisking this for me? I can prepare the rest,” She says, handing me a bowl with the eggs and milk. I _think_ I know what she has planned…

She washes her hands, then wanders over to the oven, placing a wide pan on top to heat up. Then, she takes the other ingredients over to the chopping board. Pulling out a large knife, she chops up the onions with impeccable speed and precision, dropping them into the pan, allowing it to sizzle tantalizingly. She then turns to the chicken, dicing it up with similar speed, and gently slides it alongside the onions, giving it a careful stir.

She walks over to the sink to wash her hands again, being careful not to get her sleeves wet, before returning to the pan. _Why doesn’t she roll her sleeves up?_

Once the chicken is no longer pink, she adds pinches of spice, and pours in the rice and a spoonful of soy sauce, swishing it around with a wooden spoon.

The kitchen smells _heavenly_. My stomach growls impatiently.

After some time, she transfers the rice to another plate, and rinses out the pan.  
  
“Could I have the eggs now, please?”  
  
I look down at the bowl and whisk in my hands. _Oh damn._  
  
I was so captivated by her performance that I hadn’t even prepared the eggs. I turn away from her and mix them with the milk as quickly as possible before handing them over.

“Thank you,” She smiles, blissfully unaware.

“I didn’t know you could cook, Yuri.”  


“Oh yes,” she says softly, oiling the pan slightly before pouring some of the egg mixture in. “I’m only really good at simple stuff like this, but every weekend when I was younger, my mother and I would cook dinner together. I suppose after a while, it just sort of stuck.”  
  
Methodically, she sprinkles cheese into the fluffy omelet, and spoons in the fried rice. Using a spatula, she folds it together, and lifts it daintily onto a small plate, handing it to me. I instinctively take it, but place it down quickly. _I have to wait until she’s finished with hers…_  
  
Yuri carefully prepares another portion, and turns off the oven. “Would you like to go into the dining room? I’ll just be a moment,” she says, moving over to the sink to clean up after herself.

I walk down the hallway and into what I assume is the dining room. Like the other rooms, everything is neat and orderly, which is just what I’d expect from Yuri. Rather than being low-down, the table is high with elegant, high-backed wooden chairs around it.  I pull out a chair, and sit down quietly. My stomach screams for food, the beautiful smell from the kitchen wafting through the house.

Yuri soon follows, sitting across from me. “I-I think you forgot yours…” She says, placing the plate of omurice I’d left in the kitchen in front of me. She hands me a fork, and then starts to eat from her own plate.

“Forgive me, but I hope it’s alright that I didn’t use ketchup…” She said, taking another dainty bite. “I know it’s supposed to be an integral part of the dish, but I’ve never really cared for it…”  
  
I stare longingly at the omurice in front of me. Yuri notices, and looks up at me curiously.

“I-Is there something the matter?”  
  
I swallow. “Don’t I have to wait for you to finish? I get to have what’s left, right?”  
  
She tilts her head in confusion. “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

 

“You will leave me some, r-right?”

“Oh goodness, um, that’s for you,” she points at the plate in front of me. “You can have it now i-if you’d like…”  
  
“Wait… really?”  
  
“Of course! It’s for you!”  
  
I feel tears well up in my eyes. It’s been so long since someone offered me food that I’d forgotten this was how it was supposed to be. After years of _Ban-Gohan_ Day, I’d become accustomed to waiting for Him to finish, and hoping there’d be some left. But Yuri made this for _me_.

I timidly pick up my fork, and plunge it into the omurice. It’s soft and fluffy, and the carefully seasoned rice is snugly nestled inside. I look up at Yuri, who nods approvingly, and place it in my mouth.

Oh.

 

_Oh my god._

 

It’s so good. I don’t think I have enough words to describe it. I hungrily jab my fork into it, lifting out another bite. And another. And another.

I was so focused on the flavour of the omurice that I hadn’t noticed Yuri had excused herself, only realizing once she walked through the doorway with two cups of tea.

“S-Sorry, I probably should have started with this…” she mumbles, placing a cup next to me. I still couldn’t stop eating the omurice, shoveling more of it into my mouth.

Yuri giggles softly, taking a sip from her cup. “Did you enjoy it?”  
  
I nod enthusiastically. “You’re an incredible cook, Yuri!”  
  
She reaches up to play with her hair, but seemingly forgot that she’d put it into a bun earlier, grabbing at the air a few times. Realizing what she was doing, she turned a deep red, and stood up. “U-U-Um, I, uh, I have to use the lavatory!”

She almost runs out of the room, gripping her arm. I drink from my own cup of tea, and let out a long, relaxed sigh.

 

_I wish this moment could last forever…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omurice is a popular Japanese food that consists of rice, meat, and vegetables mixed with rice and fried with Ketchup and soy sauce, which is then placed inside a fluffy egg casing and wrapped up. Ketchup is then drizzled along the top for decoration. It's almost always a dish you'll make at home rather than order out at a restaurant, and as such it's often considered a nostalgic comfort food.
> 
> "Tamago, Kudasai!" Literally just means "Egg, please!"
> 
> Hopefully this wasn't too boring of a chapter. It let me practice description a bit more, so forgive me for that, haha
> 
> Also, Yuri can cook. Who knew? I sure didn't because no official media states such, but for whatever reason she feels like a cook to me. Perhaps she can make the main meal and Natsuki can make the desserts? They'll make billions at their new restaurant.


	28. Twinkle Tackle!

As I finish my tea, Yuri returns, a small book in her hand.

“I, um, I forgot to give this back to you earlier, so… here…”  
  
She holds the book out to me. Curiously, I take it; It’s volume one of _Parfait Girls._  
  
Oh yeah! I _did_ let her take this the other day!  
  
“So, how’d you like it?” I start rambling quickly, “Who’s your favourite character? Wasn’t it cool when they made the ice cream cake? What’d you think about when Alice goes ‘this one time, in baking camp, I took my rolling pin and’-“  
  
“Um, it was…” Yuri interrupts me, holding her hand up slightly, “…different, I guess. It might not be the kind of thing I usually read, but…”  
She smiles. “I suppose I can see why you like it.”  
  
“I knew you’d like it!” I pose triumphantly, my hands on my hips. That’s what she was getting at, right? Next time I’m at school, I’ll have to give her the next volume. If she liked this one, then she’s probably dying to see what happens next! There’s a pretty big cliffhanger at the end of the first volume where everyone has to decide what to make together for friendship day, and there’s some great character development between Minori and Alice. It sets up the starting points for what is bound to be a great relationship. The original artist might not state it outright, but I know what she was going for there; they’d be great together.

 

Yuri suddenly speaks, snapping me out of my fangirl trance. “Would you like to come with me? Th-There’s something I’d like to show you…”

I follow her as she leads me through the house. As she passes the living room, she stops to give Mango a quick pat, then takes a folded blanket and a couple of cushions before continuing forwards. _What does she have planned?_  
  
She opens the door around the back of her house and reveals a soft hillside, illuminated brightly by the stars in the sky. I guess I was so focused on the food earlier that I hadn’t even noticed it was already dark outside. Yuri fluffs out the blanket, laying it gently down on the ground, and beckons me over. The atmosphere is totally serene.

“Since you shared something you like with me, I thought I could return the favour…” She says quietly, laying down on the blanket. I sit down next to her, hugging my knees, and look up at the sky.

“On warm nights like this, when the sky is clear, I like to look up at the stars… Sometimes, I like to think that they’re up there, watching over me…”  
  
I’d probably never admit it, but I’ve always wanted to go stargazing. I never had the opportunities at my house; I was too focused on surviving. Not having to worry about that, even for just a night… it felt good.

“I’ve been keeping track of all the constellations… See this one?” She points in front of me at a cluster of stars, “That’s Zell, the Excellent. He represents loyalty and consistency in life.”  
I was fascinated. I could have guessed that Yuri would be into this sort of thing, but hearing about it still left me in awe. It felt magical, like I was being pulled through a different dimension, but I was running alongside the gravity.

Yuri gestures over to another group of stars to the east. “He’s tasked with fighting Reginald, the Eldritch. If you look closely, you can see its gaping jaws. He was created by Libitina, the Trickster in retaliation against Justsome, the Random.”  
  
I allow myself to lie down on the blanket, folding my arms behind my head. “What did he do to piss her off?”

“He, u-um…well, that is to say… I think that’s a story best saved for another time…”  
 

She’s clearly uncomfortable mentioning that bit out loud, so I change the subject, making a mental note to ask about it later. “How long have you been doing this out here?”  
  
She sighs, still gazing upwards. “I suppose I can’t really remember when I started. I’ve always been a bit alone, but looking up at the stars comforted me a bit. When everyone else left me, they were still up there, urging me to keep going.”

“That’s pretty poetic.”  
  
She lets out a sad laugh. “I’ve been by myself for most of my life. Books and the stars were the only ones who didn’t run away from me.”  
  
“I know how that feels…” I respond. Whilst Yuri lost herself in her novels, I tried to create a sweeter reality through my manga. I remember after a particularly bad day hiding under my covers in my bed, watching an anime on my phone about a group of friends who were totally unlike each other, but still got on with each other. Their differing personalities made for some pretty funny moments. One was a social butterfly, one was book smart but street dumb, and the third was kind of an otaku. I related to her the most, since she also looked a bit young for her age, and outside of the obvious, she had similar anxieties. She also had a dry, sarcastic sense of humour, which always made me laugh.

I always wished that someday, I would have my own group of friends like that, my own team, my own band, my own group of Parfait Girls. When you’re forced to grow up as quickly as I was, you feel like your time was robbed from you in a way; you want to retain that innocence desperately, but He rips it in front of you, splattering the walls with fear and sharp, stinging acid. That’s probably why I like what most people would just dismiss as “Cutesy”. Sometimes, what people might write off as simple actually has the most meaning hidden behind it.

Looking up at the stars with Yuri felt nice. It could have been a scene in a manga, or an anime, a video game, or some trashy fan-fiction.

 

This was the kind of thing I’d always wanted; just being close to someone, sharing a special moment together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minori X Alice/Minorice is Natsuki's OTP
> 
> Possibly another slow chapter, but I still enjoyed writing this. Natsuki's been through some pretty rough stuff in this story, so allowing her a peaceful moment is nice.
> 
> Bumper crop of references in this chapter. See if you can figure them all out! Each constellation references someone/something from this community, because the stars look down on them from above and all that. Bonus points if you know the anime Natsuki is referring to.


	29. Somnambulism

Everything feels so peaceful… even when we’re not saying anything, it’s just nice to be around someone you don’t have to fear. Of course, I still feel an incredible amount of tension in my shoulders, but looking up at the stars like this is so soothing. I can feel my eyelids starting to droop.

“Hey Yuri…”  
  
“Hm?” she lazily turns her head over to face me, opening one eye.  
  
“What time is it? I’m getting a little sleepy…”

Yuri sits up and pulls her phone out, faintly illuminating her face. “It’s almost midnight… s-sorry, I didn’t realize…”

_Woah. That means we were out here for…uh…a while…_

“I-If you’d like to follow me, there’s a guest room you can use…”  
  
_Bed? Bed!_ Bed sounds good right about now.

As we pass through the living room, I scoop up my bag, and walk upstairs. As I’d have expected, it’s an ornate spiral staircase, with abstract patterns etched into the railings. She leads me to a door on the far end of the corridor, opening it.

The room was pretty plain, but still pleasant. A large, fluffy bed sits in the corner, with crisp lilac-coloured linens. Beside it is a humble table with a small lamp and a silver clock. In the opposite corner is a chest of drawers that looks hand-made; it has light scuffs from sanding along the sides. In the middle of the wall is a picture of an owl, perched on top of a wooden railing.

“The bathroom is two doors down on the right if you want to freshen up or a-anything… I-Is there anything else I can do for you…?” She asks.

I pause, scratching my chin. I realize I’m still in my school clothes; I probably don’t want to sleep in these.  
  
“You wouldn’t happen to have any pyjamas I could borrow, would you?”  
  
“W-Well, I don’t think I have anything that would fit you… but I might have something…” She says quietly, turning away and walking out of the room before I can respond. I hear a door open a few feet away, some shuffling of clothes hangers, and then the door shutting.

  
“Hopefully this will do…”

Yuri hands me one of her buttoned white shirts. I unfold it, and hold it up in front of me; it’s _massive_. It’s like a cloak! I slip it over my uniform and wave the loose, floppy arms up and down. I’m like Nymphia, swirling its happy ribbons around.

  
I laugh to myself, and then remember I’m not alone. Bashfully, I take off the shirt and drop it on the bed. “U-Uh! I g-guess this’ll do!”

 

“Th-that was… uuuu...” Yuri stutters awkwardly, pulling her hair over her face. “G-G-Good night…”

She dashes away, and I hear her slam a door shut.

I sit down on the bed, and hide my face in my hands. I feel very hot.

 _Gah! Why’d I do that?!_  
  


After a few minutes of being mad at myself, I take a deep breath, slowly releasing it.

 

 _Whatever… I should probably brush my teeth or something before I go to bed…_  
  
…

 

The guest bed was surprisingly comfy. It was huge compared to my own; I could take up as much space as I wanted, and there was still space for Teacup. I fell asleep quickly, snuggling down into the downy quilt. This feeling was new; I didn’t have to worry about Him suddenly showing up; I didn’t have to worry about hiding; I didn’t have to stay completely still with the blanket pulled up over my face, waiting for Him to leave.

 

…

 

 _Thunk!_   
  
“Get away from me!” I shoot upright, throwing the covers off of me. I was awoken abruptly by the loud noise. I pull Teacup close to my chest, feeling my heart pound in alarm. I open my scrunched eyes, and see that I’m not at home. I remember that I’m at Yuri’s house, away from Him. It’s… Thursday, right?  
  
I look over to the clock on the bedside table. It reads 3:47 AM. The moon lights up the room with a soft light, similar to icing sugar.   
  
I can hear careful footsteps making their way down the corridor. I peek through the keyhole to try and determine who’s outside of the room. There’s no way it could be Him; His footsteps are rough and heavy.

I see Yuri drift by, in a neat, matching set of pyjamas. Her head is tilted to the side and down towards the ground, and her breathing is soft. She wanders by with slow steps, mumbling something. _Is she sleepwalking?_

My fear quickly turns into curiosity, and I quietly open the door to follow her.

She makes her way to the kitchen, like a kite floating along a seaside breeze. She turns a perfect 90 degrees, pulling out a large kitchen knife, and wanders over to a large tin. Pulling out a large loaf of bread, she delicately cuts off three slices.

“Frenzied, lopsided ambience, contaminated by ambivalence, pristine eyes in studded robes…” she mumbles, still asleep. I think she dozed off reading one of her huge novels. I’m not surprised.

She puts the knife away, and picks up the bread, continuing on her journey. I tiptoe behind her, watching in fascination.

Opening the back door to the house, she carefully places a single slice of bread on the ground outside, then latches the door shut. Then, she makes her way up the stairs. It’s pretty impressive that she doesn’t trip or get caught on the winding spiral upwards.

She looks like she’s headed back to her room, but she instead turns into my room, and places another slice of bread on the pillow. “Whirling roses, pulchritude, blazing passion, attitude, serene petals, and dreams accrued, sparkling eyes, this is for you…” she slurs.   
  
Then, she stands still, apparently deep in thought. I cover my mouth, trying my very hardest not to laugh. _This is amazing; I had no idea she was a sleepwalker!_

Suddenly, she quickly raises the final slice of bread and holds it loosely in her mouth before gliding back to her room and gently closing the door. She’s still mumbling, but the bread prevents her from forming any words.

As soon as she’s gone, I close my door and take the slice of bread from my pillow, placing it on the bedside table. Plunging my face into the pillow, I allow myself burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a bit of a more wholesome chapter. I feel like Yuri would sleep walk; She obviously has a lot on her mind at any given time, and if she's caught up in reading, she's probably going to be thinking about a lot of stuff subconsciously.
> 
> Either that or its the third eye taking hold
> 
> Somnambulism is literally the act of sleepwalking, but it's a more outdated, fancier word. In other words, what Yuri would probably refer to it as :]
> 
> Nymphia is the Japanese name for the Fairy-type pokemon Sylveon.


	30. Decisive trial! Here we go, Doki-Chan!!

I woke up to the smell of cooking, stretching out wide. Yuri must be awake by now; I can hear her pottering around downstairs. I take the opportunity to quickly have a shower whilst she’s busy. The warm water feels super refreshing, running down my shoulders like a flowing meadow. Satisfied, I turn it off and skip back to the guest room. After I dry myself, I change back into my old school clothes, and head downstairs.

Whatever Yuri’s up to, Mango seems to want a part in it since I can hear her trying to lightheartedly shoo her away. “Why do you want to go up here? You won’t like these!” She says playfully, in a high voice I’ve never heard her use around people. I wander towards the sound of her voice.  


I peek into the room, reclining in the doorway. “Hey there.”  
  
Yuri quickly turns to look over her shoulder. Mango is happily walking in circles through her legs.

“Good morning, Natsuki! How did you sleep?”  
  
“Oh, _I_ slept just fine. I should be asking how _you_ were last night.”  
  
Yuri pauses, confused. She must not remember what happened. “What do you mean by that?”

  
“Oh nothing, I’m sure it’s fine if you doughn’t remember. You were just loafing around a bit, you know?”

I start to giggle to myself, but Yuri is still unfazed. “I’m sorry, what?”  
  
“I should probably fill you in; it’s the yeast I can do after letting me stay here.”  
  
_I am the master of puns. Eat your heart out, Monika._

“Don’t you mean _least_?” Yuri stares at me blankly.      

 

 _whoosh._   
  
“No, uh, I was making a…” I tug at my collar awkwardly. It’d probably be for the best if I just drop it. “Say, what’s going on over here?” I say, pointing over at the pan in front of her.

“Oh! I’m making blintzes,” she says, totally forgetting about my bread-related humour. “My father loved them, so we’d make them together at least once a week. Nowadays though I only really make them when I have guests, which… isn’t often…” She trails off, turning to skillfully slice up some strawberries, folding them up inside the thin sheets of batter.

“I wish I could have done stuff like that with my dad,” I say, trying to conceal my envy. I knew there weren’t any bad intentions from her, but it was hard not to feel jealous whenever people talked about their parents in a good light. It just makes me feel even more like I don’t belong; Whilst Yuri was out here making Russian pancakes with her dad, I was digging through the cushions for loose change He might’ve dropped.

Yuri hands me a blintz on a plate, a fork carefully balanced on the edge. Thanking her, I start eating it, still leaning in the doorway. It tastes nice; it has a peculiar flavour, as if dancing between the lines of sweet and savoury. I can see why Yuri’s dad enjoyed them.

As I scoop up the last thin slices, I pass the plate back.

“I should probably go home and change out of these,” I say, gesturing at my clothes. This makes Yuri quickly turn over to me.   
  
“I-Is that safe? Won’t he be angry that you didn’t go home last night?”

 

“I…” I try to say something, but I fall silent. Everything kind of just happened yesterday; I’d felt so peaceful staying at Yuri’s house that it totally slipped my mind that I’d have to go back and face him afterwards. I could feel a knot starting to form in my stomach, wrestling with the blintz. If he’s there, he’s going to be _pissed_.  
  
“It’ll be fine,” I say, not knowing if it will be. “There’s some other things I need to get over there anyway, so sooner or later I’d need to go over; Might as well get it over with now.”  
  
“Would you like me to accompany you?”  
  
“NO!” I shout, a bit too loud. “U-Uh, I mean, I don’t want you t-to… N-Never mind. It’ll be okay.”  
  
I didn’t want Yuri to see the kind of house I lived in, nor did I want to risk bringing her within sight of Him. I’d hate myself if she got hurt because of me.

“W-Well, I guess I can’t force you to stay…” she looks at me, unable to hide her concern. “But let me know that you’re out of there and safe as soon as possible, okay? If you want, we could start sorting out the, um, atmosphere stuff for Monday…”

“I’d like that. I’ll see you later, okay?”

 

I wave goodbye, and walk through the front door. After about ten seconds, I freeze; my legs suddenly feel intensely heavy, as if wrought iron shackles are bursting up from the ground, biting into my ankles. I continue walking forward with laboured, heavy steps, pounding through the earth. I pop the collar of my shirt to try and obscure my neck; perhaps if He didn’t see the bruises, He wouldn’t feel like he had an excuse to go for me.

Although Yuri actually lived closer than I realized, it was still a fair distance, even without factoring how slowly I was moving. Each step felt like I was a magnet, defiantly trying to reach through the repelling force.

After what felt like hours, I arrived home. I knew what I was after; a few sets of clothing, some toiletries, and some more personal items. In theory, this would be a quick operation.

Quietly, I turn the door handle.


	31. Chaotic Cupcakes

I delicately slip through the door, making as little noise as possible. Staying perfectly still, I wait for Him to make a noise. Something. _Anything_.

All I could hear was my heart beating through my ears, desperate to escape. _If I can’t hear Him, that must mean he’s not home right now…_

 I carefully tread towards my room. It was going to be a simple operation; get what I need, then leave. There’s no reason for me to stick around here once I have what I’m looking for. Still not trusting the absence of noise, I carefully lean against the door, opening it slowly. _Nothing_. I enter the room, and close the door behind me.

I descend upon my chest of drawers, pulling clothes out and stuffing them into my bag. This is one of the few times I’m glad I’m so short; the clothes fit inside with ample room left over.  Pulling open one of the top drawers, I rummage through an abundance of socks until I find what I’m looking for; a small pink Nintendo 3DS. I had won it through a raffle at school a couple of years back, and kept it hidden away so that He wouldn’t find it and sell it. Besides Teacup, it was one of my most prized possessions, as it allowed me a means of escape.

I made a mental note to introduce Yuri to pokemon when the time was appropriate; the game I had featured some great storytelling, and there’s a bunch of kooky creatures that she’d probably like. _I reckon Shanderaa would be her favourite_ …  
  
_No! I can’t let myself get sidetracked!_  
  
I shift some of the clothes around, and place the console between them to cushion it. There was one last thing I needed to get, and then I’d be flying free.

I peek under the door, pressing my ear close. _Still no signs of life_.   
  
Still taking the utmost caution, I coax the door open and creep out towards the living room, heading for the mantelpiece. A small, framed photograph of my mum sits on the very edge, turned inwards. I snatch it up, sliding it carefully into my bag.

I glance over to the side of the room, noticing one of His jackets on the floor. _I suppose whilst I’m here, I might as well check it out. It’ll take like, two seconds._  
  


I pick up the jacket, and turn the pockets out, revealing a 5000 yen note. I can feel my eyes widening; this is the most money I’ve ever seen in one place at one time. This could buy so much food…  
  
I fold up the bill, and bury it in the pocket of my blazer. Having achieved my mission, I turn around to leave.

“ _Okaerinasai_ , sweetie.”

 

 _Oh fuck.  
_  
“A-Ah, P-P-Papa! I d-didn’t hear-“  
  
“Of course you didn’t. But that’s okay, because you’re here now.”  
  
_How the fuck didn’t I hear him?! Has he been here this whole fucking time?!_  
  
He’s standing in the doorway, his arms folded. He’s wearing a malicious grin, burning through my resolve with his cold, steel eyes. I can feel my blood freezing in my veins, forcing its way through my arms painfully, like mercury.

“Would you like to tell me where you were last night? I was starting to get concerned.”  
  
As he finishes the sentence, he takes a step forward, gripping his arms tightly. My heart is pounding painfully, trying against all odds to burst out of my ribcage. I move backwards, but he matches my pace.

“I-I-I-I-I-I-…”   
  
_Oh fuck, no, why, no, no , no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, no , fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._   
  
“It’s okay, sweetie… Daddy’s here…” He takes another step closer. If I keep going backwards, I’ll end up in the corner. It’s no use; I’m going to have to try and step around him.

I leap to my left, and attempt to sprint past him through the doorway, but he grabs my wrist, crushing it in his vice-like fingers. It’s so painful, but I know that crying out will just make it worse. He pulls me forward, then throws me down to the ground. The friction from the carpet below burns my knees, leaving them stinging sharply. I manage to pull myself up, but he just delivers a punch right to my collarbone, knocking me back down. Whilst I’m still on the ground, he reaches down, throttling my neck.

“Didn’t you learn from the last time you did this, sweetie?”  
  
I gasp for air. Every couple of seconds, he grips tighter before loosening his hold slightly. I have to… I have to do something, or this…this might be…

Straining my eyes open, I finally see an opportunity. I raise my leg straight up, kicking him in the crotch with intense force. He doesn’t flinch, but he lets go, giving me just enough time to shift to the side. Scurrying backwards, I blindly reach behind me until I mercifully find the TV remote, and I throw it at his face, hitting him directly in the eye. He grabs at his face, staggering slightly.

“FUCK!” He shouts, pounding the wall behind him. The entire house shakes, and pictures fall down around the room.

 

I have precious little time.

 

Newly fueled with adrenaline, I run through the doorway. I throw open the front door, and I run. I won’t stop, no matter how much pain I’m in right now. I have no reason to go back there anymore. My legs soar through the air, the chains that held me down for so long rattling as they disintegrate.   
  
Eagles can fly.  
  
I can try.  
  
And finally, I made it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was certainly a change of pace from the past couple of chapters. 
> 
> Shanderaa is the Japanese name for the pokemon Chandelure , which would definitely be Yuri's favourite.
> 
> *Okaerinasai* is a Japanese word that essentially means "Welcome home!" It is said in response to *Tadaima*, which means "I've returned!"
> 
> Quite a bit of this is written from personal experience. I remember him cornering me in my bedroom. I had a small thing of mace, and I tried to deploy it but he grabs my wrist, jerking it to the side and with such intensity that I couldn't move my hand to press the button down. He would frequently throw me down to the ground, and he often went after my neck. I used to wear scarves to hide the bruises, and I still do wear them often, perhaps as a subconscious remnant. On particularly bad days, I can feel those fingers wrapping around my neck.
> 
> But she made it out. And I did too.


	32. Crackling heartbeat! Go for it, Doki-Chan!!

I can’t stop my legs from moving. My lungs are blazing as they force new air through my body. My mind screams at me to rest, but it’s like I’m physically not able to. I’m not even sure where I’m running at this point; all I know is that I’m getting away from Him.

After some time, I notice I’m running through a nearby park, and finally convince my aching body to stop. Collapsing on a nearby bench, I feel all of my expended energy finally catching up to me, searing through my muscles. I gasp out forced, deep breaths, my head tilted straight upwards towards the sky. I was running off of sheer adrenaline alone, and it took its toll. I feel so dizzy, but I don’t care; all that matters is I’m free now.

 _I should probably call Yuri to let her know what happennnnnnnnnnnnnn…_  
  
…

 

“..y! ..n you hea…. e?! Co… uickly, she nee… ter!”  
  
I can hear desperate muffled voices around me, but I can’t quite make out what they’re saying. I try to open my eyes, but everything is so bright, and everything is so heavy…

 _Ugh, my head feels like its about to split open…_  
  
“…ay with m…! … on, …try to op…ur eye…!”  
  
I feel someone patting gently but firmly against my face. I swing my head to the side defiantly. _I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…_  
  
“Miss, ca…you hear…e?”  
  
Someone lays something cool and wet across my forehead, and I feel myself smiling involuntarily in response. _It’sssss so niceeeeeee_ …  
  
“…n you get…r arms? The…some shade ove…ere…”

Suddenly I’m floating. I let out a small giggle, allowing whatever it is to carry me through the skies. I’m like a little puff of candy floss, drifting around playfully. Soon, I’m wrapped in a blissful shroud of cool air, and I descend slowly to the ground, being propped up against something. There’s grass below me, and it tickles my legs.

“…you still with us…?”

My head sways slightly, but I manage to open up my eyes. There’s someone crouching over me, and a small crowd of people are off to the side. The guy close to me has a panicked expression on his face, and has a tall bottle of water in his hand.  
  
_Wait…water…!_  
  
“Heeheeeheeeee…” I try to reach for the water, but my arm won’t make it happen. I don’t know why, but it’s really funny to me. The guy seems to take the hint though, and uncaps the water, bringing it up to my mouth. I slowly sip from it with his help.

 

My breathing stabilizes, and I’m finally able to get my bearings. Looking around, I’m resting underneath a tall tree in the park. Someone’s trying to wave off the bystanders that had gathered around, whilst water guy was still trying to get my attention.

“Miss, do you know where you are?”  
  
I snort. “Do you know where _you_ are, my guy…?”

 

_I like water guy; he’s a funny dude…_

“Well you’re at least forming actual sentences…” He sighs in relief, placing two fingers against my neck. “Your pulse is getting to a normal level too…”  


He holds a finger up in front of my face, instructing me to follow it with my eyes. I do so lazily until he’s satisfied.  
  
“What’s your name, miss?”

 _Oh yeah, I have one of those! That’s so cooooool!_  
  
“Uh… I’m Natsuki…” I say proudly.

Water guy allows me a few more sips from the bottle. He seems to be holding a card or something in his hand. “Do you know what day it is today?”

I scrunch my face up. “I think it’s…Friday, right?”  
  
“Do you know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”  
  
“Do _you_?”  
  
He smirks. “Fair point. Do you know how old you are?”  
  
“I-I’m eighteen…”  
  
“And the school you go to?”  
  
“Saruvato academy High…”

 

He hands me my school ID card. “Awesome, it seems like you’re able to think a bit more clearly. Do you know what happened to you earlier?”  
  
“I was, uh, I was running a whole lot, and then everything went kinda fuzzy…”  
  
Water guy shifts over. “You must have been running far, because you’re very dehydrated. It’s a miracle we were able to get to you in time.”

“Now, since you’re an adult, we can’t force anything, but… I have to ask; do you feel like you’re in a safe living situation?”  
  
“H-Huh?”  
  
_What’re you doing, Water guy?!_  
  
Suddenly I remember everything; what I was running from, and why I was pushing myself so hard. I look down, and noticed gauze wrapped around my arm and one of my legs. I haven’t even noticed it before, but there’s a cold compress against my neck.

“U-Uh… I think so… I mean, It’s no big deal or anything, so…”  
  
Water guy looks at me compassionately. “It’s okay, you’re safe now. Do you have someone you trust who you can go home to?”  
  
“Y-Yeah, I can go to Yuri…”  


He turns off to the side, looking a bit embarrassed. “Miss, what you do in your spare time is not my business, I just want to know if you have somewhere you can stay…”  
  
_What… oh…_  
  
Now it’s my turn to feel awkward. “Y-You dummy! It’s n-not like that! Yuri’s her name, she’s my f-friend!”

 

“O-Oh, Oh I see!” He quickly stands up, extending the bottle of water to me. “Are you able to give her a call? Do you need to borrow my phone?”  
  
“N-No, it’s okay, I have one…” I say, taking the bottle and sipping from it some more.

“Okay, well, it’s good to see you a bit more to your senses.”  
  
_Mate, you don’t know the half of it._

“I think you’ll be fine after a bit of rest. Give your friend a call, and have her help you home, okay? You’re a bit dehydrated, but as long as you rest a bit and drink at regular intervals, you should start feeling better.”  
  
“O-Okay… thanks for helping, I guess…”  
  
Water guy laughs. “Don’t sweat it. Oops, I swear that pun wasn’t intended..,. I meant, um, y’know, I hope you’re feeling better.”  
  
I wave at him, and he disappears back into the park.

 _I should probably call Yuri now…_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this doesn't feel like filler; I just really felt like writing about the aftermath of running so hard.
> 
> I've only been hospitalized for dehydration once, but I remember having a similar experience. I was feeling pretty silly, and dizzy and floaty. I fainted and hit my head pretty hard, and I had an IV and stuff, but as I gradually got more water back, I started feeling better. I was allowed to go home after a couple of hours. So, wew, medical story!
> 
> Swallows should be a self-explanatory reference. Natsuki's high school is named after the romaji for Salvato, which should also be obvious.
> 
> Vote for Water Guy in the 2029 AI olympics.


	33. Pipettes and Painting

I dial Yuri’s number in my phone, It rings blankly, but she soon picks up.

 

“ _Oh thank goodness…_ ” She says, letting out a deep, slow breath.

“Hey! I told you it’d work out alright!”  
  
“ _A-Are you okay?_ ”   
  
“I’m pretty tired, but I should be okay,” I say, pausing to take a drink of water. “I just did a hell of a lot of running, but I got what I needed!”  
  
“ _That’s good… did you still want to help with the festival preparations?_ ”  
  
“Yeah, I could do with something quiet. I just need to rest up a bit, and then I can head over.”  
  
“ _Wh-Where are you? Do you want me to come and find you?_ ”  


“Nah, I should be okay once I’ve rested a bit.” I take another swig from the water bottle.

“ _Okay… stay safe…_ ”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!”  
  
“ _Do you, um, remember how to get to my house…?_ ”

She points out various landmarks for me to watch out for on my way over. Thanking her, I hang up, and slowly hoist myself upward.

 

…

  
I knock on the door, waiting patiently outside. The walk over was difficult after all of the running I’d already done today, but I was still looking forward to helping Yuri figure out what we could do to help with our display’s “atmosphere”.

 

Before long, the door opens.

“Well Yuri,” I fold my arms, tilting my head forward slightly, “I made it, despite your directions…”

 

“It’s good to see you made it safely…” she says quietly, clasping her hands close to her chest. She’s surprisingly more chic than you’d expect; she’s wearing a soft cashmere turtleneck along with light, form-fitting leggings. “I have everything set up, if you’d like to begin right away…”  
  
I follow her over to the living room, where a large banner is laid out on the floor. Small containers of paint sit neatly to the side, with a few brushes sitting nearby. Carefully folded sheets of paper are stacked alongside various small ribbons. Off to the side of the room, I notice a small wooden… thingy. It looks like it’s spreading delicate mist out into the air…

Speaking of the air, it feels… nice. Kind of heavy, but it feels soothing. I find myself drawn to it, as if a honey bee edging close to the honey pot. Yuri laughs softly to herself.

“I see you’re curious about my oil diffuser!” She smiles proudly. This must be a passion of hers. “I plan to use this fragrance at the festival; it uses the delicate notes of Jasmine oil, as I find it truly helps open up the soul…”  
  
She giggles, blushing slightly. She stares directly into my eyes. “Jasmine oil can enhance your emotions, soothe the spirit, and even awaken one’s innermost desires… isn’t that perfect for a poetry reading?”  
  
I feel my heartbeat get a bit faster. This stuff’s kind of like magic then, if what she’s saying is true. It shows a lot of insight.

“A-Anyway,” I say, clearing my throat, “I hope this isn’t all you had planned!”  
  
That came out weird, but Yuri doesn’t seem to mind.

 

“O-Of course… I thought we could write words on these small sheets here, then hang them around the room with ribbons… It’d be like diving head-first into the world of literature… isn’t that exhilarating?”

“I do have to admit, that sounds pretty cool. Any thoughts on the kinds of words we should be writing?”  
  
“I suppose whatever words resonate with you the most… the words that truly embody your own sense of being.”  
  
_That’s pretty passionate, but then again, this is Yuri._  
  
We divide the papers up, and start writing down words.

 

_Whistle, Boop, socks, vanilla, jump, peace, manga, strawberry, parfait, fantasy…_

 

I finish up before Yuri; she’s taking her time to slowly pen her words down with long, elegant strokes. Once she’s done, she pulls out a slender pocketknife, flipping it open. The handle gleams like a finely-cut ruby, lined with abstract geometric patterns. The blade seems to glow a light blue, as if it had been pulled from the ocean, the waves still flashing across it.  


“Woah, that’s an intense knife…”   
  
Yuri notices me staring, and shyly tips the blade back and forth, watching the light reflect off of it. “Hopefully this doesn’t sound too weird but… uuuu…”  
  
“What is it? You can tell me.”  
  
She takes a deep breath, and makes a clean slice in the ribbon, tying a loose strands carefully around a word. “I guess you could say I’m into knives… is that strange of me?”  
  
Admittedly, I don’t know many people who collect knives, but there are far worse things out there to be into.  
  
“I think as long as it’s not hurting anyone, you can like whatever you want.” I say, confident I have the right words.  
  
“I see…” She smiles wistfully, cutting off some more ribbon and handing it to me. After a few minutes, each paper word is carefully decorated and prepared to hang up for the festival.

“How about this banner? Shall we just paint our club name on it?” I point at the large cloth banner on the floor. Yuri nods.

“I-I think that would be nice… Excuse me for a moment, there’s… something I have to do…”  
  
She suddenly gets up and goes upstairs. Shrugging, I start mixing up the paint; I think a combination of everyone’s favourite colours will be great. I smooth out the banner, It’d make sense to start with the best, so I squeeze out some red and white paint to mix up some pink.

Yuri returns shortly after, holding her arm. “O-Oh, that’s going to look lovely…”

  
I grin, handing her a brush. “You want to mix up some more colours? We could do with some purple.”  
  
“Yes, that’d be nice…”  
  
We continue painting the banner. I enjoy spending time with Yuri; although I would never have thought I’d be getting closer to her when I first met her, I’m glad this is how things are turning out.  It looks like I might be on track to having a great day at the festival after all.

I glance up from my handiwork, my hands on my hips. “Wow, this looks fantastic, huh?” I exclaim proudly.

“This will be wonderfully welcoming, Natsuki…” Yuri says sweetly.

I turn over to her, but notice a red stain on the arm of her jumper. She must’ve gotten a bit carried away mixing the colours.  
  
“Hey, uh, I think you’ve got a bit of something on your arm there,” I say, pointing at the paint. Yuri turns down to look, and her face changes immediately. She looks terrified, her pupils narrowing.

“A-A-Ah… Th-That’s, umm…” She starts to stammer, looking all around the room. “I-I-I guess I’ll g-go and handle this… I’ll be back soon…”  
  
She sprints up the staircase, not even giving me time to respond. I shrug, and resume painting the banner. She must just be worried about ruining her clothes, but if this is an acrylic based paint, it should wash out just fine since we caught it soon enough.

I add more flourish to the banner. It’s truly looking stellar, even by my own admission. I decide to leave it to dry a bit before finishing it up. Plus, I want to leave something for Yuri to do.

 

 _It’s been a while… what’s taking her so long? It’s just a small bit of paint…_  
  
I hop up the stairs to go look for her. I can hear panicked, sharp breaths coming from the bathroom. I cautiously approach the door, and give it a quick knock. I hear Yuri gasp from the other side.

 

“Hey Yuri, everything okay in there? It’s been a long time…”  
  
“Agh!, No, I-I mean, yes! It’s fine, you don’t have to do anything!”  
  
Her voice is fraught and full of worry. I’m not convinced.  
  
“Do you need a hand getting the paint out?”  
  
“I-I-I-I-I-“ She stutters.

 _She doesn’t sound okay at all. I’m going in._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's finally shifting back towards the main game's plot, as Natsuki helps Yuri prepare for the festival. I had fun writing this chapter; although 32 was pretty silly and I had lots of fun with it, this time I get to try and focus on Natsuki and Yuri's relationship a bit more.
> 
> I actually use an oil diffuser whilst I write, with Jasmine essential oils. It's incredibly soothing, and really lets me focus on my writing.


	34. Scissors

I gently open the door.

 

“Yu-“  
  
_Oh… oh no…_  
  
Yuri is standing over the sink, clutching her left arm, which is laced with several cuts of varying intensity; there are light scars delicately crisscrossed in uniform patterns, but what’s much more pressing are the deep gashes mercilessly bleeding. There is a trail leading from the sink to a small bin, overflowing with red-soaked paper towels.

 

“What the fuck are you doing, dummy?!” I shout, more out of shock than anything else.

 

Yuri looks back at me, tears slowly falling from her pained eyes. “I-I-I C-Can’t stop it…”  
  
“Where’s your first-aid kit?!”

Yuri starts stammering incoherently, but I don’t have the patience for this. “Where do you keep it?!” I yell, stomping the ground.  
  
“N-Next to the oven, i-in the kitchen…”

“Stay right there, I’ll be back!”  
  
I dash through the house, sliding down the spiral banister and find the small box of medical supplies. I grab it, dashing back up to the bathroom.

 

Yuri is still staring at her arm over the sink. I reach over and turn the tap, tugging her by the wrist underneath the water. She winces in pain, sucking sharp breaths through her teeth.  
  
“I’m not trying to hurt you, we just need to get all this blood out of here, okay?”  
  
She swallows, then nods. Popping open the latches on the box, I retrieve some alcohol wipes, tearing the packaging open with my teeth.  
  
“This is gonna hurt, but you’re gonna have to bear with me, okay?” I try to say in the most reassuring voice I can muster, then I press the wipes against her arm. She shouts out in pain, gritting her teeth. She grips my arm with her free hand, trembling. I hate to do this to her, but it’s important. I rinse her arm again, and rip a towel from the nearby rack to pat it dry. I fish around in the box until I find a large spool of bandages. I pull them tightly, and quickly wrap them around her arm, securing it with a small safety pin.

“Try to keep it above your head, okay? It’s important!”

Yuri obediently raises her arm. I grab her by her free hand, and pull her downstairs, sitting her down on the sofa in her living room. The banner is still laying across the floor, with Mango curled up in the middle, fast asleep. Fortunately, the paint seems to have dried before she chose it as a place for a nap.

“I’m gonna get you a glass of water, so just sit tight for a moment!”  
  
Yuri doesn’t respond. She’s intently focused on her arm, turning it around and spreading out her fingers, studying the bandage. I return with a small glass, and sit down next to her.

“I-I’m so s-sorry… you m-must hate me now...”

I place my hand on her shoulder. “Of course I don’t hate you, dummy! Just, please… what’s going on here?”

Yuri tilts her head forward, allowing her hair to fall across her face. “I-I’m just full of so much anguish… It wells up inside of me… the pressure is immense…”  
  
She turns to me, her eyes glistening softly with tears. “I started doing… this…” She lifts her bandaged arm slightly, “to let out that pressure. I-I needed to feel some kind of release, b-but… then I couldn’t stop myself…”  
  
“One cut became two, became four, became eight…with each sanguine drop exhaled, my bitter body became more frail, craving more, scraping at my mind until I could have do it again…”

She shakes her head, letting out a quivering sigh. ‘You must think I’m s-such a freak… everyone looks at me as if I were some gaunt horror from the depths of a fractured soul, wandering aimlessly, lost in her books and claiming to know everything but in reality knowing nothing...”  
  
I put my arm around her, gently stroking her shoulder with my thumb. I might not be as great with words as she is, but I can damn well try.

“You’re my friend, Yuri. I mean, yeah, I might have at first thought you were kind of spooky and just wanted to hang out by yourself, but having gotten a bit closer to you through the literature club… well, I’m glad you proved me wrong.”

“Y-You’ve been through so much, even just today, and yet you can still find it in yourself to try and look after me…”  
  
I smirk. “Well _someone_ has to take charge around here!”

“A-Are you sure you don’t hate me…?”  
  
“I’m positive. I might not have said it a couple of weeks ago, but I’m really glad I’ve gotten to know you a bit better Yuri.”

She lets out a long sigh. “I-I’ve never shown this side of myself to anyone…it has been my burden to bear for so long…”

I don’t know why, but hearing that hurt my heart. Perhaps because I can relate to it so much?  
  
I pull my arm back, and stand up. “I’m happy that you felt you could trust me with this… but you’ve gotta stop this okay?”  
  
Yuri stares past me, her eyes like flickering candles. “I-I’m not sure I can…”

I kneel down in an attempt to match her height, but even when she’s sitting she’s taller than me, so I stand up again awkwardly. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you, okay? And I’m sure everyone else in the club would-“  
  
“NO!” Yuri stands up, fear in her voice. “Please, I beg you, don’t tell them about this!”  
  
“Hey, relax, I’d never do that to you! I’m just saying, if you felt comfortable talking about this with them, I’m sure they’d be understanding. But first thing’s first; I’m gonna need something from you.”  
  
I hold out my open hand. Yuri shuffles around nervously, but eventually pulls out the red knife from earlier, dropping it into my palm.

“Thank you for letting me help you Yuri. Now, how about we get back to that banner?”

Yuri smiles. “You’re really much sweeter than you let on, aren’t you?”

I feel my face getting hot. “H-Hey, don’t make it weird! Do you want to get this done or not?”

She lets out a small, soft laugh, wiping a tear from her eye. “Okay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a tricky chapter to write, simply because I'm petrified of turning what are supposed to be the more serious moments in this story into gratuitous Narm. Hopefully my writing isn't too cringey or anything to anything. Y'all have to tell me if it is, or I'll get mad!
> 
> I tried to draw from similar feelings that went behind this poem I wrote a while ago. Whilst I personally don't have a history of self-harm, it's felt damn tempting sometimes.


	35. Swirl

The rest of the time we spent working on the banner was in relative silence. Yuri was doodling around the sides of the banner absentmindedly, a blank expression on her face. I neatly finish painting the characters across, and stand up to admire my work.

“There! Not bad, huh?”  
  
“Hm.” Yuri lets a small sound escape from her. I turn to say something, but she cuts me off.  
  
“Can I… ask you a question?”  
  
“Eh? What’s up?”  
  
Yuri slides a clip up and down a long strand of her hair. “Why did you join the literature club?”  
  
_Huh… that’s actually a pretty good question. I’ll need to think about this for a bit…_  
  
Eventually, I settle on what I think is a good answer.  
  
“I guess I just really wanted to find a place where I belonged.” I knew this was such a cliché answer, but it was true. “I’ve always had a rough time finding somewhere I could feel wanted… even my home wasn’t safe. But…”  
  
I turn to look her in the eyes. “I think I’ve finally found that place.”  
  
Yuri wears a sad smile. “I’m happy to hear that…”  
  
“Well, I shared, so it’s only fair for you to as well, right? How about yourself?”  
  
Yuri sighs. “I suppose in many ways, for the same reasons you did. The only friends I really had growing up were those in my books… they were never mean to me, they would never disagree with me, and they wouldn’t judge me for my interests… my books would always be there for me…”

  
“I know what you mean…” I say quietly. _We really aren’t so different after all, huh?_  
  
“I remember in middle school one day…” Yuri pauses, looking down at the ground. “I received some truly horrible news…I felt my world crackling around me, dazed in conflagration. I couldn’t focus on anything; I could just feel the pain boiling inside of me, the mist locking tightly in my chest. I couldn’t get it to leave, no matter how hard I tried.”  
  
“After classes ended that day, I waited behind in the classroom for everyone to leave, and made my way to the cupboard of supplies in the back. Tucked away on a high shelf was a small knife. I picked it up; it wasn’t anything special, about the size of my finger. I clicked it open with a satisfying flick, and brought it to my arm. Without thinking, I… I just made a small, thin cut just under my wrist.”  
  
“I expected it to hurt, but there was something… thrilling about it. I could feel my pent up emotions diffusing quickly into physical pain… I knew this wasn’t the best way of dealing with my problems, but… I was hooked. The relief was intoxicating; it was as though I was suffocating, and each cut brought me oxygen. My thoughts were deafening, but seeing my blood made me feel… grounded.”  
  
I gasp without meaning to. This whole time, she’s been going through this…

“Did you ever tell your parents? They were supportive of you, right?”  
  
She shakes her head slowly. “I’m sure they would have loved to have helped me…”  


_Wait… ‘would have’…?_  
  
f feel like I’ve just realized something truly grim.

 

I take a step towards the front door, and turn around, holding my hand out. “Hey, do you want to get out of here for a little bit?”  
  
Yuri blinks, and stands up. “I…I think that might be a good idea… W-Would it be okay if I changed out of this jumper first though?”  
  
“Oh, yeah! I think I might have to as well…” I look down, still in my scruffy school uniform.   
  
“I-If I’m more than ten minutes…will you…check on me…?”  


I nod. I know exactly what she’s asking.

 

…

 

It feels good to finally be in some clean clothes. I’m sure the fresh air will feel good for Yuri as well; that jasmine oil might’ve been getting a bit too heavy.

We walk slowly along the roadside until we arrive at a small café. “Let’s stop in here for a bit, okay?”  
  
Yuri nods nervously, following me inside. There are groups of students all around; It’s the final Friday before the festival, so everyone was allowed to stay home to give us extra time for preparing. They’re laughing and joking amongst each other, oblivious to everyone else. They all look like their own little literature club; it makes me feel weird, like a sense of nostalgia for something that hasn’t happened yet. We make our way to a table near the back of the café, and sit down.

I order a tall glass of strawberry milk for myself, whilst Yuri chooses a warm green tea. It arrives in a small cup, whisked with keen expertise, alongside two small motchi. I drink from my glass, feeling my eyes light up. It must have been freshly-made; the flavour is bright and sparkling, dancing around my tongue. Yuri carefully raises her tea, taken a polite sip.

“I-I wish I wasn’t so scary…” Yuri mumbles to herself, but looks up, realizing I heard her. “O-Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking out loud…”  
  
However, I decide to press further. “What makes you think you’re scary?”  
  
“I’ve always kept mostly to myself and had an interest in the occult…Even the other day, Emery told me that he fears my opinion on his poems…”  
  
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. He just kind of says what’s on his mind in basic terms, you know?”  
  
“I’m still worried about alienating everyone in the club… I know that my subjects are usually much darker than everyone else’s, but… that’s all I know. I must be so intimidating…”  
  
She breathes deeply, taking a bite out of one of the mochi.

I take another sip from my glass. “I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing… If everything’s sunshine and rainbows all the time, it wouldn’t mean anything. Sometimes we need to look at those sad sort of things, as they can remind us that we’re here, and we’re trying. That’s all we really need to worry about; I think as long as you’re making an effort, you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself.”  
  
I _think_ that sounded encouraging. Yuri seems to appreciate it regardless.

 

“Speaking of sunshine and rainbows…” She says, placing her cup down on the table, “have you heard anything more from Sayori?”

That’s right; Sayori left early yesterday, didn’t she? And Emery went to help her…

“I think she’ll be okay. Whatever’s getting to her, I’m sure it’s work out; Emery said he was going to check on her, so she won’t be by herself.”  
  
“I suppose that’s true… It just makes me worry a bit…” Yuri looks off into the distance. “Seeing her be so happy one moment and then so sad in almost an instant… it’s a bit unsettling.”  
  
“Yeah, but she’s tough; I’m sure she’ll make it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original draft had Natsuki finish by saying "I'm sure she'll hang in there", but that felt a bit too on the nose.
> 
> More character building chapters, wew. Although it's somewhat sad, it's still kind of nice to write a chapter where everything isn't in crisis mode.


	36. Because You

I pay for our drinks, and we leave the café.

“D-Do you mind if we just walk around for a bit…?” Yuri twirls her hair around with her finger.

I nod, walking alongside her.

“Um… I know this is sort of s-sudden but… thank you for what you’ve done for me today… I… can’t remember the last time I did something like this…”

I cock my head over at her. “But you have tea all the time, right?”

“N-No, I meant, just spending time with you… No one’s ever really cared to see me happy, but you…” She smiles, closing her eyes, “you’ve been so good to me… most people would run away if they saw what happened earlier, but you helped me…”  
  
I feel myself turning red. “W-Well, y’know, _someone_ has to look out for you…”  
  
We continue walking through town until we end up at the beach. The sun is like a golden yolk, bouncy and runny, lighting up the whole sky as it starts to set. It’s stunning.

Yuri stands tall, facing the waves. Her hair sways gently in the salty seaside breeze.

“Why did you want us to write about the beach the other day?”  
  
“Duh! The beach is awesome! Listen!”  
  
I cup my ear with my hand, leaning outwards. The sea gently rolls across the shore, the delicate water whirling against itself and letting out a pleasant, comforting noise.

“Whilst I do agree that the waves have a dulcet voice, there must be something else, right?”  
  
I dig my heel into the sand, shuffling around. “W-Well… Can you think of anything bad about this place?”  
  
Yuri looks up in thought, then shakes her head.  
  
“Growing up, the beach was one of the few places I could get away from Him… I don’t have to worry about that stuff down here…”  
  
“I really did enjoy your poem, you know…”  
  
I blink, surprised at the directness of her comment. “O-Of course you did! After all, I-I’m the best, so…”

 

 _Why’d I get so defensive? I’ve told her everything, why do I feel compelled to keep this up?_  
  
I trail off, staring at the sand below. I feel like I can see each individual grain, rubbing up against each other.

Yuri smiles at me. “I appreciate that you trust me enough to be vulnerable around me…”

  
“E-Eh?!” I stammer, looking up at her, “Wh-What are you saying?!”

“O-Oh, I just was trying to… uuuuu…”  
  
We look away from each other for a moment. I decide to try and break the tension.  
  
“D-Do you think we should start heading out? It’s starting to get a bit chilly…”  
  
“Wait!” Yuri exclaims. “Um… I really don’t want you going back to … with your…um, if you’d like, you can stay in the guest room as long as you want…A-And, I don’t really want to trust myself to be alone right now…”  
  
  
A beat.

 

Yuri hides her hands in her face, rubbing her leg with her foot. “I-I’m sorry, that must sound s-so weird…”  
  
I laugh, watching as she peeks through her fingers. “It’s okay, dummy… I’d like that.”

 

…

 

As we open the door to Yuri’s house, Mango loudly runs up to greet her. She laughs, picking her up. It’s amazing how different she looks when she’s comfortable. I’m super tired, so I make my way up to the guest room and change into some pyjamas I’d rescued from my old room.

As I’m pulling my shirt down over my face, I hear a _Ding!_ all of a sudden, startling me. I jump up and lose my bearings, getting trapped in the shirt. I stumble around aimlessly before falling onto the bed. _Damn, I must be super tired… I’m clumsier than Sayori right now…_  


I emerge triumphantly through the shirt and reach for my phone. It’s a text from… Monika?  
  
“[ _Hey, Natsuki! How’s the festival prep going?_ ]”  
  
_She’s probably just checking in, doing club president stuff._  
  
I hastily tap out a response.

“[ _Pretty great! You’re lucky you’ve got me to help Yuri out. The show’s going to be awesome!_ ]”

“[ _That sounds wonderful. I’m glad you two are having such a good time with each other :3_ ]”  
“[ _Eh?! What does that mean?!_ ]”

  
“[ _Oh, nothing… there is actually another thing I wanted to ask; are you free tomorrow, around say, 11?_ ]”  
  
“[ _Uh, I guess so. Why?_ ]”

“[ _Would you like to meet me for brunch tomorrow? There’s a great place downtown called_ Okashi-ya. _I’ll pay._ ]”  
  
_I think I know where that is. Yuri and I passed it earlier._

“[ _Sure, that sounds fun. Is there some reason you asked me though?_ ]”  
  
I had to admit, it did feel pretty out of the blue. Whilst Monika was certainly friendly enough in our club meetings, we didn’t really talk much outside of them. In fact, I think the time I walked in on her playing piano was one of the only times.

“[ _I was just thinking that I don’t really know you that well, and I want to change that. You’re an important member of the club, after all!_ ]”  
  
“[ _I mean, I guess that makes sense…_ ]”  
  
“[ _Wonderful! I’ll see you over there tomorrow! Can’t wait :3_ ]”  
  
Well, _this_ is an interesting development. I can’t help but feel like there’s something a bit more to this meeting. But wouldn’t it make sense to invite the whole club out?  
  
I wonder if she knows anything about Sayori. She’s the Vice President, after all, perhaps the two talk to each other a lot. Maybe I can ask her about that.

 

But I guess that’ll have to wait until tomorrow…  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki and Monika having waffles together fanart when
> 
> Forgive me, but here's even more character development. I just wanted to have a bit of a more wholesome scene where Natsuki and Yuri just kind of spend time with each other outside of doing festival stuff. But there will be more of that later!
> 
> What could Monika want with Natsuki? You'll have to wait and see!
> 
> "Okashi-ya" Literally means "Sweets shop" in Japanese, so I figured it'd be a good name for a brunch place.


	37. Okay, Natsuki!

When I woke up, I noticed a text from Yuri. Rubbing my eyes, I pick up my phone to read it.

“[ _Hello. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve gone to check on Sayori, so I probably won’t be home when you wake up_.]”  
  
Even in text, she’s so careful with her words. It’s kinda funny.

 

I was thinking of inviting her along to meet up with Monika, but I guess she has her own plans today. _I guess I should get myself ready…_  
  
…

 

I arrive at the place before Monika. I’m surprised, since she’s usually so punctual. Then again, She’s shown up late to the club pretty consistently the past few days…

It’s hard to describe, but I feel like I can’t really get a read on her; She’s confident, popular, and talented, but there’s something in her eyes… some kind of dissatisfaction with the way things are, if that makes sense. Occasionally, she’ll just stare off into space before snapping back to reality and moving the club along, getting us to share poems and such. And now she wants to meet up with me… Is this because of what happened before?  
  
“Sorry I’m late!”  
  
Monika suddenly shows up. She’s wearing an elegant white summer dress that stops above her knees, billowing playfully in the light breeze. She has a totally different feeling around her; whilst she smiles a lot, you can tell there’s always something going on in her head. Kind of like Sayori, but if her sunny moments were just to cover up something else. But here, she looks… genuinely happy.

“I called ahead, so we should already have a table. Shall we go?”  
  
I nod, and she holds the door open for me to follow her.

We end up sitting over at a table by the windows, overlooking the rest of the town. It’s kind of nice; It’s as though the restaurant isn’t trying too hard to create a welcoming atmosphere.

 _Atmosphere…_ I laugh, thinking of how different this place might look if she was in charge; the lighting would probably be low, with a lot of muted colours; rather than high tables and chairs, we’d all probably be kneeling down on tatami mats, and the customers would be ordering okonomiyaki instead of waffles.

“I hope you didn’t have trouble getting over here; you must be pretty beat after helping Yuri this weekend.”  
  
Monika brings me back to reality with…was… was that a pun? No…No, that’d be in really poor taste, and I don’t think I told her about Him… Although she might be referring to what happened with Emery…  
  
No, I’m probably just overthinking things.

“Oh, uh, nah it’s fine. I did a lot of running yesterday, but it’s okay.”  


“Is that so? I didn’t take you for a runner, Natsuki.”  
  
“W-Well, I just wanted to try it out, y’know? Probably won’t want to do it again…”  


Monika raises her hand, forming her signature pose for giving advice. “Sometimes it’s good to try and imagine that you’re running away from something…or someone. It can motivate you to keep pushing yourself harder.”  
  
Something about how she worded that makes me shiver.

 

“Y-Yeah, uh… I’ll keep that in mind…”  
  
Shortly, a waitress shows up, and we place our orders. I ask for some nice fluffy pancakes with syrup; I deserve a nice little treat. Monika decides on crepes and a small coffee. Taking a short bow, the waitress leaves.

“Do you like coffee, Natsuki?”  
  
“Uh, n-nah… It’s way too bitter for me.”  
  
Monika tilts her head, smiling. “Of course, you probably just like sweet things like strawberry milk or juice, huh?”

“H-Huh? No, it’s not like that…”  
  
To be honest, I’ve never been a fan of coffee. He drank a lot of it, so I came to associate the smell with him being home, which… led to bad things.

“I-I just don’t like it…”  
  
“I see. Well, I personally adore it; the smooth, silky texture, the rich flavour… it’s as if I’m drinking a well-loved book, haha!”  
  
I decide I want to get right to the point. I had something I wanted to ask Monika.  
  
“Hey, um, have you spoken with Sayori at all over the past couple of days?”  
  
“Eh?” Monika raises her eyebrow, “a little bit, but not too much. Just checking in to see how she’s getting on with the festival stuff. She’s hanging on, but it must be stressful being with Emery so much; she sounds like she’s at the end of her rope!”  
  
“But do you think she’ll be okay? It was just pretty weird seeing her act so… out of character…”  
  
Monika turns over, looking me straight in the eye. “What do you mean by that?”  
  
“Well, I know Sayori’s not just some two-dimensional person, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her outwardly look sad… it was pretty unsettling…”  
  
“Wait, don’t you mean one-dimensional?”  
  
“Huh? What’d I say?” _Did I say something wrong?  
_  
Monika furrows her brow curiously. “I just thought… well, never mind. To be honest, I do know what you mean. But I’ve known Sayori for a long time… she’s a complex person, despite what you might initially think. I’m sure if you saw things from her perspective, you’d be surprised at how hard she tries.”  
  
_I guess that makes sense. We all have a face that we show to the outside world. It’s who we show our inner self to that matters most._  
  
The waitress returns with our orders. She presents me with two enormous pancakes, alongside a cute little jug of syrup. They’re beautifully made, and super fluffy; they tower over the table, or at least, over Monika’s crepes; they’re modest but elegant, drizzled with a sweet sauce. I guess it’s the kind of dish that captures her perfectly. She carefully slices through the crepes, taking a careful bite. I pour the syrup over the pancakes, and scoop up a soft mouthful with my fork.

 

I can feel the flavour skating around my tastebuds; it’s amazing!  
  
Monika giggles to herself. “It’s nice seeing you this way, Natsuki?”  
  
“Hrmmf?” I look up at her, my mouth full.

 

“You keep to yourself a lot, so to see you look so… well, happy… I wonder if there’s something nice happening for you… or if there’s _someone_ nice…”  
  
“Mrmmf?!” I almost spit out my pancakes, staring at Monika in bewilderment. She laughs, waving her hand.  
  
“Relax, I’m just kidding!”  
  
I finish my mouthful. “Can I ask you something, Monika?”

“Of course,” she says, taking a drink from her coffee. She savours the flavour, drinking it slowly.

“I am a bit curious as to why you invited _me_ out here... wouldn’t it make more sense to ask Sayori, or even the whole club?”  
  
Monika sighs, taking another sip from her coffee. “ Well… I suppose there’s a couple of reasons. When you found me playing piano the other day… I’m not sure if you knew it, but you… helped me think through a lot of things. I’d never expected anyone to look for me like that, but you seemed to go against that path I thought was set, and you walked in. So, I wanted to do something nice in return.”  
  
_What did she mean by that? Going against the path she thought was set?_  
  
“I was also concerned after seeing you with Emery on Thursday… He told me about everything that happened, and… well, I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Do you have a safe place you can go to?”

I almost choke of my pancakes. That was super direct of her.

 

“U-Uh, yeah… I mean, why wouldn’t I be safe…?”  
  
Monika tilts her head at me. “I know you might think I just space out sometimes, staring off into the void, but I see what goes on in my clubroom. I notice your body language, how skittish you get when someone touches you, and how Yuri’s been around you recently…I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I like to think I’m quite intuitive.”  
  
She looks me right in the eyes. “I know a lot more than people might think.”  
  
I gulp. Monika must notice my sudden change in expression, because she laughs awkwardly.   
  
“Eheh, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound menacing or anything! I just… I pay attention to these kinds of things, you know? The wellbeing of my club members is my highest priority, so please… answer my question. Are you safe?”  
  
“I-I guess so… I’ve been staying over at Yuri’s house for the past couple of days…”  
  
Monika sighs in relief. She must genuinely be concerned. “I’m glad to hear that. Sorry to put you on the spot like that, It’s just… I know what I see, and I was worried. But I’m glad you’re happy with Yuri.”  
  
“Huh?”

“I’m just teasing you again,” She laughs. “Now, I should probably eat some more myself…”  
  
She hums to herself, taking another slice out of her crepe. It’s nice to see her in a good mood.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese Pancakes are very different to what Americans might be used to; They tall and thick, and super fluffy.  
> (https://i.imgur.com/06lrR2y.png)
> 
>  
> 
> Okonomiyaki is a similar pancake dish, but is savoury, and traditionally is made with vegetables.  
> (https://i.imgur.com/TqRM7j8.png)


	38. Swan Song

Monika gulps down the rest of coffee, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Hey, so, I hate to make this like an official club meeting, but do you know what you want to read for our recital?”  
  
_Urk._ I was planning on just reading one of the poems I’d written earlier in the week, but for some reason I feel like she won’t like that answer.

“W-Well, kind of…”  
  
“Oh, so you don’t have a piece set in stone yet?”  
  
I sigh.

 

“Well that’s okay! I actually had a thought… why don’t you write a brand new piece for Monday? Something none of us have seen before? I think you might have some new ideas after spending the weekend with Yuri.”  
  
“Huh… I could do that. What about everyone else?”  
  
“Oh, of course. Would you mind letting Yuri know? I’ll see if I can get in touch with Emery and Sayori. Hopefully they’re not too tied up with their part in the festival…”

“H-Hey, you know, I’ve been working pretty hard too!”  
  
_Do you think I’m not doing enough? Are you trying to find stuff for me to do? I’m doing it! And I’m doing it well!_  
  
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sure you’ve made such a cute banner for us to display!”  


_Where’s this coming from?_  
  
Monika laughs. “Sorry, I just can’t help it. I hope you won’t snap at me, I’m just teasing!”  
  
“R-Right, well, that’s kinda mean, you know?”  
  
“Okay, Okay, I’m sorry… Anyway, I think I should be getting back to-“ She stops, and pauses to think, then turns to me, “Well, I just have some things I need to do.”  
  
I don’t ask her anything further; it’d probably be rude.  
  
“I’ll see you at the festival, okay?”  
  
I nod. “You’d better be ready to be impressed! I’m gonna write the greatest thing you’ve ever seen!”  
  
…

 

 _Hmm… What should I write about…_  
  
I already said I’d do something new, so now I can’t back out and use an older poem. I’ve been through so much this week; I should have a ton to write about, but all I can do is stare at the paper, rolling my pen back and forth. When I told Yuri, I could practically see her eyes sparkling at the opportunity to write more. Don’t get me wrong, I like to write, but the thought of writing something specifically to perform in front of others is kind of daunting. Sure, I could just lazily piece something together and get it over with, but over the past couple of days I’ve come to realize that I don’t want to pass through it; I want to soar.

I close my eyes, thinking hard about the past few days. _A lot’s happened…  
_ I can feel the noisy thoughts circling around inside my head, like hungry cicadas preying on each individual idea. I remember how my stomach screamed for food; I remember the sharp stinging against my arm; I remember the pounding ache as my head tried to escape itself; I remember Teacup being taken; I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember-

 

_“Hey, if you ever want to talk about anything, you let me know, yeah? It makes me sad when I see a little raincloud floating over my friends.”_

_“Don’t worry about it; you’re my friend, right?”_

_“You’re very brave, Natsuki. You know that?”_

 

_”I know I might come off as a bit... weird, but… I-I’m here if you need to talk to someone, okay?”_

Yeah… I remember my friends.

I remember making cookies for Sayori, swirling cinnamon around; I remember Emery saving me from meeting a terrible fate, proving me wrong about him; I remember Monika allowing herself to be vulnerable around me; and I remember Yuri… well, she’s done a lot for me; she helped me when I dropped my manga; she comforted me when I hit rock bottom; she even provided me a safe place away from Him.

That’s right… they all helped me throughout the bad times. They made the good moments sweeter; they protected me; they made me look at myself; they made me happy. Bad things might happen, but I won’t let them drag me down. I’ve spent so much of my life simply surviving, but now I feel like I’m able to live.

I start writing. My pen dances across the page, painting a wonderful tapestry of peace. I don’t have to run away anymore. I’ve found my people, my Parfait Girls.

My Literature club.

A tiny tear rolls out of my eye. I’m so grateful to know them. Every one of them deserves to be loved.

Because of them, I can look forward to the future. Because of them, I feel like my words have meaning. Because of them, I can stand proudly. Because of them, I can believe in myself. Because of them, I can write.

I feel like everything might finally be getting better. I’ve been fed false optimism for years, leading me to be rough around people, but day by day I feel like things will be okay. _All because of you…_

 

_Because you,_

_Because you,_

_Because you…_


	39. Call me cute, I'll call you a liar

Before I know it, it’s Sunday. Time really kind of flew by now that I think about it; so much has happened that it feels like it’s been weeks or even months. At this pace, you’d think we were part of a visual novel or something. But I don’t care; I’ve been having a great weekend, and today I’m going to aim even higher!  
  
I walk downstairs. Yuri is reclining on a sofa, with Mango sitting in her lap. She strokes her softly, and I can hear Mango purring with appreciation. _She’s so cute!_  
  
“’Sup?” I say, resting a hand on my hip. Yuri looks up.

“Good morning! You look full of determination today!” She smiles at me, softly.

“Yeah, because today I’m going to introduce you to the wonderful world of baking!”  
  
I strike a pose, pointing forward. After a few seconds, I realize how silly I must look, and retreat sheepishly.

“I-I mean, It’s Sunday, so we should make some cupcakes for the festival…”  
  
Yuri looks to the side. “That sounds like a nice idea, but I’m not sure I have the ingredients here…”  
  
I wander over to her, grinning. “Then I guess we’ll just have to go get some!”  


…

We return with everything we need. I can barely contain my excitement; I’ve always had to do this sort of thing in secret to avoid Him, but being able to display it openly is going to be a treat.

I walk over to the sink in the kitchen, and rinse my hands.

“Alright!” I say, clapping, “Are you ready to see how a pro does things?”

I flex my fingers, preheat the oven, and get to work. The first step in making cupcakes is to mix the sugar and the butter together so that you end up with a sweet, airy base. I work the butter with my hands firmly but delicately, making sure there aren’t any clumps left. I reach for a whisk, and crack an egg into the bowl, beating it into the mixture.

“Do you want to get started on the icing?”  
  
“O-Oh, of course!” Yuri blinks, reaching over for the confectioner’s sugar, before pausing. “uuu… what do I do with this…”

 

“Geez, you’re lucky you have me here to show you! Look, just measure out three cups, and beat it together with a third of a cup of butter. Then, you’ll want one and a half teaspoons of vanilla, and two tablespoons of milk.”  
  
I stop to crack another egg into the mixture, and continue whisking it together. “Whatever you do, _don’t_ mix those up, or else we’ll just have a gloopy mess!”  
  
“O-Okay…” Yuri stutters, obediently mixing all of the ingredients together and stirring it.

“Now comes the fun part!” I grin, adding the flour and baking powder. I love this step; you have to gradually mix in the flour and the milk in alternate quantities; you can’t just dump everything in and expect it to work. I feel genuinely happy, watching the batter take form. I sprinkle in a pinch of salt, and add some vanilla extract. It’s starting to smell great, and it’s not even in the oven yet!

“Do you have any more bowls like this, Yuri? I want to make these all different colours.”  


“Yes, um, above you in the cupboard there…”  
  
I reach up, grab a few extra bowls, and divide the batter up. Then I carefully add a few drops of food colouring to each bowl. “There! That way, people will be able to pick their favourite colour, even if they all taste the same.”  
  
I rinse my hands off again, and start adding paper liners to the trays. I delicately portion the batter out, being careful to make sure every cake will come out the same. Satisfied, I slide the trays into the oven, and set a timer on my phone.

“How’s that icing coming, Yuri?”  
  
She sighs dejectedly. “I-I don’t know what I did, but I don’t think this is right…”

I walk over, and immediately see the issue. “You’re just not putting enough muscle into it. Here, let me see that!”  


Cradling the bowl in my arm, I furiously whip the icing together. Soon, the bowl is filled with beautifully fluffy buttermilk icing. I scoop a dollop up on my finger, and taste it. It’s _amazing_. This must be what dreams are made of.

 

Out the corner of my eye, I see Yuri reach over to do the same, but I grab her wrist. “Hey, you’ll have to wait until we’re all done! I’m the one who mixed it all, so it’s only fair I get first dibs!”  
  
Yuri smiles. “Is that so…?”   
  
She pushes against my grip, inching towards the icing. I pull the bowl back, but I end up pulling her over as well. We both stumble, and on the way down her finger slips, landing a splotch of icing on my cheek.

“Aw, man! Look at this now!”  
  
I try to reach at it with my tongue, but it’s ever so slightly out of reach. _You know what… if she really wants some icing, I’ll have some fun with it!_  
  
I scoop up the icing with my finger, and go in for the kill. “Take this!” I shout triumphantly, aiming at her face. She’s quicker than me though, and grabs my wrist reflexively. I can’t help but laugh; this is all pretty silly.

Yuri stares intently at the icing on my finger. All of a sudden she-

“Mm.”  
  
Wait.

 _Did she…_  
  


_Did she actually just do that?!_  
  
She reaches forward, sticking my finger in her mouth. I can feel her tongue curling around it, scooping up the icing.

I suddenly feel myself going bright red. Yuri pauses for a second before also blushing profusely.

“A-Ah! I’m S-Sorry! I just, it f-felt like, um, the right thing to do…” she mumbles, getting quieter as the sentence goes on.

_I’m… I, uh…_

I don’t know what to say. It caught me so off guard that I honestly have no clue what to do next.

We stay still for what feels like a ten years, just staring at each other. I feel a bit dizzy…

_What the hell is going on here?!_

“I-“  
  
My phone starts ringing loudly, signaling that the cupcakes are done baking. The loud noise startles both of us, and we both jump back a bit. I shakily reach over and silence the phone.

“I-I guess that means we should take these out…”  
  
I gulp, and don a large pair of oven mitts, pulling out each tray one by one. The oven unleashes a beautiful blast of sweet-smelling air, grounding us both and bringing us back to the task at hand.

“You smell that, Yuri? That’s what success smells like!”  
  
Yuri closes her eyes, taking in the warm gust of vanilla. “Goodness, it’s heavenly…”

“Once they’re all cooled, we can start decorating them!  
  
I start pulling out various different icing tips and bags. “Here, can you start scooping the icing into these?” I hand the bags over to Yuri, and she starts to spoon the icing into them.

“These must all make different patterns as you use them, right?”  
  
I beam at Yuri, happy that she’s taking an interest. “You learn quickly! Yeah, they can make all sorts of fun shapes. This thin one here could even be used to write!”

Yuri ponders, looking at the thin tip. “I think I’ve got an idea for how we could decorate these.”  
  
“Oh? Lay it on me, what’ve you got?”  
  
“You know how we wrote out all those words and tied them with ribbons earlier?”  
  
I nod.  
  
“W-Well, what if we wrote on the cupcakes as well?”

“That’s… actually a really cute idea. Then people can pick which ones they like based on their favourite words. You’re pretty smart, Yuri!” I playfully punch her in the arm.

Yuri looks to the side, blushing. “I-I think you might be rubbing off on me a little…”  


_E-Eh?!_  
  


…

 

It was a lot of work, but it was worth it; in front of us is a legion of absolutely adorable little cupcakes, beautifully decorated with a whole slew of words important to each of us.

“I think we did good today, Yuri!” I place a hand on her shoulder, grinning.

“Y-Yes… They look lovely…”

 _They’re so fluffy and inviting…_  
  
“I wish I could have one now…” I think out loud, not realizing it.

Yuri reaches out, picking up one of the cupcakes and removing the lining. It has the word “pulchritude” written on it in elegant cursive. She extends the cupcake out in front of my face, waving it slightly.

“U-Um… y-you can have it if you want…”  
  
I hesitate for a moment, but then lean forward and take a bite out of it. I squeal in delight; the flavour is like swimming through a field of sunflowers, with birds chirping in tall, blustery trees. It’s as if I can taste all the effort that we put into the cupcakes. It’s _so good_!

Yuri giggles. “It must be suitably saccharine then?”

I nod enthusiastically, and grab the remaining cake.

“Thanks for helping out with these,” I say, taking another bite, “You picked it up pretty quickly!”  
  
“Th-That’s probably because you’re a good teacher…” Yuri twirls a strand of her long hair around with her finger.

I smile, and finish the cake.   
  
“Well, shall we get these all packed away? We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow!”


	40. The Festival! We Made it!

It’s finally here; the day of the Festival.

I’m nervous, but still excited. It’s gonna be great! It’s a whole day where we just get to have fun without focusing on anything else like grades or schoolwork. And making the cupcakes and decorations with Yuri filled me with newfound confidence; I can’t wait to read this poem out to everyone.

I carry the cupcakes whilst Yuri handles the banner and other atmosphere pieces. There’s a lot to handle, but I manage. I only almost tripped three times on the way over, so I’ll take that as a victory.

When we arrive in the classroom, Monika is setting up pamphlets on each of the desks.

“Hey, Monika! We’ve got this room packed up and ready to go!” I lift up the cupcakes slightly and gesture towards Yuri.

Yuri looks around the room. “Are Emery and Sayori not here yet?”  
Monika shakes her head. “Nope, it’s Just Me right now! But I’m sure they’ll be here soon enough.” She turns away and continues setting up booklets around the classroom.

To be honest, I’m a bit surprised we’re the first ones here; I know Emery and Sayori live closer, so I’d have thought they’d be here before us.

 _Did something happen…?_  
  
…nah, I’m probably overthinking things. They’ll be here.   
  
I start to unpack the cupcakes, arranging them in neat groups by colour and the types of words displayed on them. Yuri is trying to hang the banner up, but she’s struggling a bit by herself. I walk over.

 

“Need a hand?”  
  
Monika laughs. “I’m sure she appreciates the offer, but I’m not sure you’re tall enough to reach up there…”

Yuri looks over, flustered. “D-Don’t speak for me! If she wants to help, I-I’m sure she’ll find a way…”  
  
_Woah… Yuri standing up for herself? I like that._  
  
I pull over a desk and stand on top of it, grabbing the other end of the banner to secure it. I learnt my lesson from last time; the wheelie chair is asking for trouble.

When I hop down, Yuri is already setting up her oil diffuser. Soon, the room is filled with the gentle smell of jasmine. The room really does feel different, just like Yuri had said; it’s like diving into the pages of a book, swimming through the words.

 

Just then, the door swings open.  
  
“Sorry I’m late, everyone!”  
  
It’s Emery, carrying a bunch of posters. He places them on a nearby desk, looking behind him. Careful footsteps follow, entering the classroom. Monika turns around to greet them.

“Ah, Emery! And… Sayori too!”

Monika beams, as if seeing Sayori brought out something brilliant in her. She immediately looks less tense, as if she’d been cleared of guilt from something she’d been carrying with her deep down for a long time.

Sayori timidly waves. She has a light pink shirt on, and a large fluffy scarf, making it look like she’s a bird all snuggled down in its nest. She tries to say something, but just lets out a weak cough.

“Sayori has a bit of a sore throat; I think she was practicing too hard for today’s recital!” Emery scratches the back of his head.

“Oh, shall I make some tea? It might help…” Yuri is already taking the kettle with her out of the classroom, walking right by them. Emery doesn’t have time to respond, but looks over at Sayori, who smiles and nods.

Monika sighs, as if in relief. “Well, I’m just glad you guys made it over here safely...”

 

I’m not sure what Monika was expecting, but the mood does feel better now that everyone’s here.  Now all we need to wait for are some people to show up!

 

…

 

“Okay, Everyone!”  
  
Monika walks to the front of the class to address the students gathered. Whilst most people just stopped by for a cupcake and left, there’s a fair number of people still around, eagerly looking over the pamphlets.

 

“It’s time for the main event! We’re going to show you all just how much literature means to us!  


Monika strides over to a tall podium she had set up earlier, takes a deep breath, and starts reading.

“This poem is called:  
  
**Joy**

****

_Do you ever feel like shifting words_

_Assail your mind like ravenous birds,_

_Flashing colours and aching static,_

_Forcing you into a panic?_

__  
  
When your days just feel repeated,

_It’s hard not to look conceited,_

_But what if suddenly, out of the blue,_

_Something happened that you never knew?_

__  
  
Someone broke the endless chain

_Of silent noise and bitter pain,  
Showing you that even today,_

_There might be another way?_

__  
  
So thank you for your curiosity,

_I’ll no longer show my animosity,_

_No longer do I have to be coy_

_About expressing my eternal joy._

  
  
 Monika takes a bow as everyone claps, As she moves to the side to give up the podium, she flashes me a quiet smile. _I wonder what she meant by that…_  
  


Emery takes the stage, shuffling some papers around before apparently finding what he wanted to read.

“Before I begin, I just want to say thank you to everyone in this club, especially my friend Sayori.” He gestures over to Sayori, who waves around shyly. “You really helped me grow as a person, and I feel like I’d never have gotten here if you didn’t look out for me, so, thanks.”  
  
“Anyway, this poem is called:  
  
**A New day**  
  
_Did you think that was all I had?  
It pains me to see you ever so sad,_

_If you don’t tell me, I’ll get mad,_

_So please, let me make you glad,_

_I might not know what ails you,_

_But I can try to help you through_

_The dense fog, thick and blue,_

_Please believe it, my feelings are true,_

_You always like to make me smile,_

_But please, won’t you stay for a while?  
You’ve helped me turn the watchful dial_

_Around to caring in embracing style,_

_Let me help you find a way_

_To order your thoughts in disarray,_

_I really just want to say,_

_Thank you for showing me a brand new day._

 

As he takes his seat, I’m… kind of stunned. He’s finally graduated to full sentences! I feel kind of like a parent watching their kid; he’s all grown up, writing more than 10 words down.

 

“I-I guess I should go now…”  
  
I expected to see Yuri walk over, but instead, the shaky voice came from Sayori. She sounds like she’s giving it her all just to speak right now, but that makes it all the more inspiring.

“Thank you for coming, everyone… It’s so good to see so many happy faces!”  
  
She puts on a wide smile, flashing victory signs with each hand. Even when she’s a bit down, she’s still trying to make everyone laugh; I can’t help but grin. Clearing her throat, she starts reading.

“Anyways, this piece is called:  
  
**Thank you**

_You didn’t have to listen, but you did._

_Whenever I tried to turn and hide,_

_Burying thorns and greyed soot_

_Under fluffy puffs of candy floss,_

_You tried to blow them away._

_You didn’t have to talk to me, but you did._

_Whenever I tried to fake a smile,_

_And obscure obsolescence with tired laughter,_

_You poured the sun into crystal teacups,_

_And extended one out to me._

_You didn’t have to care, but you did._

_Whenever I tripped into a whirlpool,_

_Dragged around in final thoughts,_

_You threw marshmallows out to me,_

_Bouncing with determination._

_You didn’t have to be my friend, but you are._

_Thank you for trying to help me._

 

Even with her raspy voice, her delivery is powerful, only emphasized by her word choice. It looks like she’s finally found herself.

She takes a bow, and returns to her seat. Yuri takes a deep breath, and quickly walks over to the podium.

She stands looking over at everyone, with wide eyes. She gulps, clearly still nervous about performing in front of a big group. She looks over to me, and I show her a smile, giving her a thumbs-up. A small smile appears on her face, and she raises her poem.

 

“This poem is titled:  
**  
Heartbeat**

_Pounding eyes, exasperation,_

_Flowing, Liquid conflagration,_

_Rhythmic pulse of candid blush,_

_Delicate notes, thoughts that rush!_

_A considerate quail, quietly quelled,_

_Sleepy ribbons of bliss excelled,_

_Careful hearts are wild and flimsy,_

_Patched or broken on ultimate whimsy!_

_Nebulous trails of dainty tracks,_

_Final thoughts, no turning back!_

_Irrepressible, fervent drive to breathe,_

_Kindness calmed, that will never leave!_

_Exalted glow of fluorescent moss,_

_Graceful steps of love or loss,_

_Happy thoughts, or hidden grief,_

_A Cautiously cut, crimson leaf!_

_Thrashing thread of an untamed gaze,_

_Cacophonous chaos of hearts ablaze,_

_Sparkling sounds of silent desire,_

_from strawberry rhythms that never tire._

 

She’s suddenly a totally different person. Any hint of nervousness has been replaced by a passionate, confident women, proudly gesturing as she pulls her audience through her poem, twirling her words around effortlessly. It’s truly amazing.

Once she’s finished, she blushes slightly and bows quickly before scurrying back to her seat. _I guess that means it’s my turn now…  
_  
I look over the podium at the expectant faces. It’s going to be hard to follow everyone else, but I’ll have to do my best!  
  
“Are you ready, everyone? This one’s called _Because You…_ ”

 

…

 

The day went off without a hitch. I think we might even get a couple of new members out of this. Even if we don’t, we had fun, which is what matters most.

Monika is sitting in the back of the room, talking to someone through her laptop. She has her elbows on the desk, resting her chin on her interlocked fingers. I can’t quite make out what she’s talking about, or to whom, but every so often she stops to laugh, so I can only assume she’s happy with them.

I see Emery look over to Sayori. A tear rolls down her face, but she’s still smiling. Emery pulls her into a close hug, and the two just stand there in each other’s arms for a while. _Cute. I’m glad you can be happy now, Sayori._   
  
“H-Hey,” Yuri glides over to me. “I really loved your poem…”  
  
“Thanks, you too! I-I mean, y-your poem was good too!” I stammer out. I really have to start thinking before I speak.  
  
She tilts her head to the side, smiling. “S-So, was there anything else you wanted to do today?”  
  
I look over at Monika, who’s still happily talking into her laptop, then over to Sayori and Emery, who are headed out of door, then back to Yuri. _Now’s a good a time as any…_  
  
I take her hand, causing her to jump slightly. “I was just planning on walking home with some girl named Yuri.”  
  
“Wh-What are you saying…?  
  
“What does it look like?” I laugh, feeling myself blush. “L-Let’s just get out of here.”  
  
Tugging her by the hand, we leave the Literature club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah! Here we are! I can't believe it's only been two weeks, but we're finally at the end! 
> 
> In total, this ended up being **153 pages of 12 point font, and 47203 words**. Christ, there's something wrong with me if I'm writing that much, hehe
> 
> Why did I decide on this ending? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I was considering writing an alternative "Bad ending" and posting that as well, but, eh. So in case you missed it, there's a couple of things I implied:
> 
> Sayori did try to hang herself, on Sunday. However in this universe, since Emery went to help her out, he knew something was amiss and was able to save her in time. She's wearing the scarf to hide that.
> 
> Monika has found her partner, and is talking to them similarly to act 3 or After story. However, she's happy that things turned out differently than she was expecting. She managed to find a way to keep talking to them without sabotaging everything else. Perhaps because Natsuki changed the script by visiting her whilst she was playing piano?
> 
> And as for Natsuki and Yuri, I know I've been doing rampant ship-teasing throughout the story, but here's the first concrete evidence of it here. all aboard, toot toot
> 
> Writing process behind the poems:
> 
> I had Sayori's poem already written, as well as Yuri's. It just felt right to use it as Sayori's since I wrote it for a friend under very similar circumstances, and I wrote Emery's poem to compliment that. Monika's was simply trying to word how she wasn't expecting things to turn out this way, but being happy that it did. Natsuki's is obviously her poem *Because you* from the actual game. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to make it through this. I had a lot of fun writing this story, and hopefully you all had just as much fun reading it.


End file.
